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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176332">A Different Hunger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mediumdinosaur/pseuds/Mediumdinosaur'>Mediumdinosaur</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Fighting, First Time, Fluff, Happily Ever After, Loss of Virginity, Marriage and babies, Oral Sex, Romance, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Smut, Violence, injuries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:47:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>61,773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mediumdinosaur/pseuds/Mediumdinosaur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A second dinner at Poppy's place sets off a chain of events, drawing Tora and Poppy into a passionate, whirlwind romance. So much for staying out of her life.</p><p>Warning: includes heavy violence/injuries, death (OC and side characters), and some rough angry sex.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tora/Poppy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>502</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Cat Got Your Tongue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
<p></p><blockquote><p>Obviously I am not the creator of these characters/worlds!</p><p>All credit and major thank you to Lilydusk.</p><p>
      <em>
        <strong>Please enjoy, and let me know what you think! I will post the second half soon!</strong>
      </em>
    </p></blockquote><hr/></div><p>            Tora was surprised when Poppy invited him to dinner a second time. They were supposed to be out of each other’s lives, but she’d texted “<em>I said I’d make something else for you, didn’t I?”</em> and he’d been powerless to turn her down.</p><p>            When he arrived at her apartment, he flipped down the sun visor in his car and checked himself in the mirror. A second later he grimaced and flipped it back up. What was he doing? Whatever this was, it wasn’t a date. He shouldn’t even be there. No matter how cute she was when she looked at him, how hard his heart beat when she hugged him or when he took her hand… no. He wasn’t supposed to be in her life. <em>That</em> was why he was nervous. That was the only reason.</p><p>            <em>Sure, idiot. Keep lyin’ to yerself</em>, his inner voice said sarcastically.</p><p>“Fuck,” Tora said out loud, getting out of the car and slamming the door harder than strictly necessary.</p><p>            As he climbed the stairs his heart raced faster, until he was sure he could hear it. He took a moment to compose himself at her door before he knocked. She opened the door fast, like she’d been waiting, said “hey,” and smiled at him.</p><p>His inner voice went silent. It should’ve been illegal to be so cute, not that Tora cared what was and wasn’t against the law. She wasn’t even dressed up; she was in sweats and an old tee. The fabric was so soft and worn it draped over the curves of her breasts and the swell of her hips more alluringly than something skin-tight would have. Her hair fell in waves over her shoulders; her eyes lit with a sparkle as she grinned at him.</p><p>            “Cat got your tongue?” Poppy asked.</p><p>            “I… what?”</p><p>            “Don’t just stand there, come in!” She laughed, and tugged his hand inside.</p><p>            The inside of her apartment was as warm and comfortable as he remembered. He sent his glance around the room, taking in the plants, the painting, the balcony. Better not to look at her again, or he’d be staring. He tried to remember the last time he’d felt so shy around a girl—what, when he’d just hit puberty or something? But it was a useless exercise.</p><p>            “Are you ready to eat?” she asked.</p><p>            “You don’t waste time, Bobby, do ya?”</p><p>            She shrugged. “Well, it’s ready if you are.”</p><p>            “Sure.”</p><p>            She indicated the low table where they’d sat last time. He settled himself on the floor as she disappeared into the kitchen, then returned with two bowls of seafood and rice.</p><p>            “Since you didn’t really get what you wanted, last time,” she said.</p><p>            That statement was truer than she knew.</p><p>            “Damn, Bobby. You outdid yourself.” The food was beautiful.</p><p>            “I wasn’t sure if you took pictures of all your food,” she admitted. “Not… I mean, not to say you should take a picture of this, just…”</p><p>            “I don’t,” said Tora. “Couldn’t resist last time. It was… fuckin’ adorable.” He gripped the edge of the table, staring at the meal she’d made him, trying not to stare at her.</p><p>            What was this? He’d had plenty of women throw themselves at him. He’d never cared. But this one girl invited him over, just to eat, and he couldn’t even look her in the eyes without blushing and feeling his insides turn to mush? The hell was that? Was it really so hard to look at her?</p><p>            He tested that, glancing up to meet her gaze. She looked concerned, her eyebrows furrowed. He gulped.</p><p>            “Shit, what? Did I say somethin’ wrong?”</p><p>            “Um, no. But you don’t seem like yourself. Are… is everything okay?”</p><p>            “Sweet of ya to worry, Pops. I’m fine. And starving. Let’s eat.”</p><p>            They took the first bites. It was delicious, and he told her as much. A moment of silence followed before he set down his chopsticks.</p><p>            “Hey, Bobby?”</p><p>            “Huh?” Her eyes were wide and innocent.</p><p>            “Why’d ya invite me over? Not that I’m complaining.”</p><p>            “I dunno. Do I need a reason?” She blushed scarlet red. That was interesting. He knew he’d flustered her in the past, and had fun doing so, but that was before his own feelings had… well. That was before he felt as flustered as a goddamned teenager, himself. To see her blush now <em>did</em> things to him.</p><p>            “I guess not. Just wondered. I thought ya’d be happy to get me out of ya life,” he said, forcing a grin so she’d know not to take it too seriously.</p><p>            “I guess I like having you around,” she admitted.</p><p>            Their eyes met again. Hers were soft, and kind. She was smiling, and the feeling reached her gaze. Tora knew his own expression was not so gentle. He felt like he was on fire. The hunger he felt was not in his stomach. It was lower.</p><p>            “Well, shit,” he said. He looked back down at the food. He didn’t really want to eat anymore, even as good a cook as she was. He wanted to pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. But that wouldn’t do. He still was supposed to be getting out of her life. And even if he didn’t have the strength to do that, he could at least stop from getting deeper involved in it. Even if he wanted to grab her and take her like the god-damned animal he was. It was better to focus on the food.  </p><p>            They finished the meal, Tora managing—barely—to steer the conversation in a safer direction, asking Poppy about her art and her day and her work and stuffing his own feelings down as far as he could.</p><p>            “I’ll wash,” he said when they were done eating, grabbing the bowls and standing.</p><p>            “No, you did last time!” said Poppy.</p><p>            “Ya cooked. Sit ya ass down,” he said.</p><p>            “Absolutely not. I’ll at least dry.”</p><p>            That wasn’t really necessary with her dish rack, but he wasn’t going to argue. They stood by the sink in silence. Poppy was too close to him as she dried each dish. He could practically feel the heat radiating off her. He was sure every hair on his body was standing at attention as she reached an arm out to grab the next dish. That dry, she moved to put it away, giving him a second of respite before she was back.</p><p>            <em>Fuck</em>, Tora thought as his dick throbbed. He bore down on a pan she’d used for cooking, flexing his muscles and scrubbing hard, trying to banish the filthy thoughts from his mind with soap and sponge. <em>We can’t. We shouldn’t. There’s a million other girls I could have. Why her? </em></p><p>            But at last, there were no more dishes, and he felt no less calm.</p><p>            “Thanks,” Poppy said, and handed him a towel for his hands. He took it, his eyes fixing on her. He dried his hands without looking away. She didn’t look away, either.</p><p>            Then he lost control. Without really thinking about it—and hadn’t he done enough thinking, that whole night?—Tora grabbed her and pulled her to him, leaning down and fixing his mouth against hers. With one hand cupping her head and another on the small of the back, he pressed her body gently but firmly against his and kissed her, long and soft.</p><p>            For a moment Poppy was still, shocked. But then she molded against him, her palms coming to rest against his chest and her head tilting back. She lifted up on her tip toes to reach his mouth, and they kissed again, harder. Tora leaned back against the kitchen counter, pulling Poppy against him even tighter. His dick throbbed harder, more urgently. She could probably feel it, he was holding her so tight. He didn’t care anymore. He had to have her.</p><p>            His hands dropped lower, following the curve of her waist, lingering on her hips—pulling them into him again, harder—slipping back to her ass, where he grabbed and squeezed. Poppy pulled her mouth away, breathing heavily. She pushed her hands against his chest, fighting to get room.</p><p>            Tora relaxed his grip instantly. She was so weak compared to him, but he couldn’t have used force against her even if he wanted to. He wasn’t one to bully a woman, if he didn’t have to for clan business, but this went even deeper—she was far too precious for him to even think about hurting. Even kissing her like this felt like crossing a line, like he was defiling something sacred and beautiful, but that much he couldn’t stop himself from doing. He wanted her too badly. Still, she was pushing away.</p><p>            “Too much?” he asked, voice deep and gravelly.</p><p>            “N…no,” Poppy said, her voice a squeak, her cheeks flushed. “Sorry. I just need a moment.”</p><p>            He gave her the moment. She didn’t walk away, but stayed with her hand against his chest and his arms draped loosely against her, not holding her in place but unable to let go of her if she wasn’t about to walk away. Poppy looked down at the floor, then curled her fingers into his shirt and looked up at him. God. Those eyes, that mess of hair, those soft lips.</p><p>            “I can leave,” Tora offered, not really meaning it but feeling like it needed to be said.</p><p>            “I don’t want you to,” Poppy said. “Sorry, am I being forward? I just wanted to have you for dinner…”</p><p>            “You can have me, alright,” Tora rumbled with a smirk.</p><p>            “I didn’t mean like that!” Poppy fell against him, burying her face into his chest. His eyes widened in surprise before he tightened his arms around her again, just holding her.</p><p>            “Sure ya didn’t, Bobby. I’m just teasin’. We don’t have ta kiss anymore if it’s too much for ya.” </p><p>            She stayed against him for a moment before straightening, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes.</p><p>            “Um, Tora, do… do you…” she mumbled something, and looked down.</p><p>            “What?”</p><p>            “Nothing. Nevermind.”</p><p>            “Tell me.” He put a hand beneath her chin and gently tilted her face up to him.</p><p>            “Do you… wanna… go to the bedroom?”</p><p>            He didn’t need to use words to answer. He hoisted her by the waist, then adjusted his hands to support her legs as she wrapped them around her. Seconds later, she was on her bed. The room was dim, illuminated by the light that spilled through the half-open doorway.</p><p>            Tora paused.</p><p>            “Ya don’t have cameras running this time, do ya?”</p><p>            “No! I wouldn’t!”</p><p>            “Alright then,” he said.</p><p>            He tried not to crush her, conscious of how tiny she was compared to him, even as curvy and thick as she was. Supporting his weight with one hand, he ran the other down her leg, traced the inside of one thigh, brought it back up…underneath the old tee-shirt, he slowly tugged down the cup of her bra and moaned as his fingers found her nipple. His mouth was locked on her lips again. Her hands twined around his neck, holding his head in place.</p><p>            All thought was gone from his head; there was no blood there, anyways. He squeezed and caressed her breasts, then made his way back down to her hips. Lifting his mouth away from hers, he tugged down her sweatpants to reveal panties that were frilly and polka-dotted. He smiled despite himself. How could someone so sexy be so goddamned cute at the same time? He wasn’t used to cute women, not in his line of work. Sexy, he could brush off. But this? This grabbed him by the heart. Excited, he ran his fingers over her crotch and rumbled with pleasure at how wet she felt, and began to kiss the side of her neck.</p><p>            Something was wrong. Her hands were still locked behind his neck, but she wasn’t moving, wasn’t responding to his soft touches on her thighs and against her panties. Was that a tremor? Was she shaking, ever so slightly?</p><p>            With a frown, Tora pushed himself up and off of her. With his body hovering over hers, he looked down at her. Her eyes were big, her lips quivering.</p><p>            “Poppylan?” Tora whispered.</p><p>            “I’m fine,” she said. “You don’t have to stop.”</p><p>            That wasn’t right. The caveman part of his brain screamed and fought as he raised himself up and twisted to sit upright beside her on the bed: <em>ya idiot! She said ya didn’t have to stop! That means fuck her!</em> But whatever gentle part of Tora that few ever got to see was governing now, his heart rapidly beating with concern and fear. Was it something he had done? Something in her past, maybe?</p><p>            “Sorry,” Poppy said to the silence as Tora tried to formulate a sentence in his head.</p><p>            “Don’t do that,” he said. “It’s fine. But ya weren’t enjoying it?”</p><p>            “No, it felt good. Exciting. Um, I’m just nervous.”</p><p>            “Nervous? Did I make ya nervous?” It should have been obvious, shouldn’t it? Of course a big brute like him would make a little thing like her nervous, even as headstrong and brave as she was. Sure, she might’ve thought he was handsome—he wasn’t blind to the way she looked at him—but that didn’t mean she wanted him pawing at her. <em>Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.</em> Tora looked away, into the darkest corner of the room, and shut his eyes. <em>Like she’d want ya. Stupid.</em></p><p>            “Well, I… that’s…” her voice shrunk to a whisper. “Um. It’s my first time.”</p><p>            His head whipped around to stare at her.</p><p>            “What?”</p><p>            Poppy sat up.</p><p>            “I’ve never done this before. I’m sorry. I know I’m no good at it. I understand if you want to stop.”</p><p>            “Fuck, Poppy.” Tora’s hands shook. “I need some air.”</p><p>            He got up and went to the balcony, leaving her on the bed. It took him three tries to light his cigarette, and he ran a hand through his hair while he drew on it. So she was even more innocent than he’d thought. He really had no business being here, did he? He couldn’t deny he wanted her. How <em>badly</em> he wanted her. Even if he never saw her again, she was going to be on his mind for weeks. Months. Longer. He’d never felt an attraction like it. But if he already knew he was a monster from a fucked-up world, who had no place in her life, what right did he have to be her first? And why was she willing to do that with him? She hadn’t, with her cheating asshole of an ex-boyfriend?</p><p>            Maybe she was just trying to get back at that dick. Maybe she didn’t really want Tora in the first place. He tried to figure out if that made it better or worse. He wanted her to want him. But if she didn’t care about him, would that make it okay for him to sleep with her and then vanish from her life? He snuffed out the cigarette and shoved it into his pocket, rubbed his face, and went back inside.</p><p>            She was standing in the living room, her arms wrapped around herself, looking like she was going to cry.</p><p>            “Shit,” Tora said. “I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?”</p><p>            Poppy swallowed, forced a smile, and shook her head. “Sorry. I should have known you wouldn’t want to be with me. It’s okay, Tora. I’m fine.”</p><p>            “Not wanna be with you?”</p><p>            “I’m kinda a freak,” Poppy said, twisting the bottom of her tee-shirt. “Still a virgin at this age. Sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on.” </p><p>            “Ya aren’t making any sense, Bobby,” he said, his voice breaking. “C’mon. That doesn’t make ya a freak. Jesus.”</p><p>            “It’s okay,” she said, plastering a big grin on her face. It didn’t meet her eyes. “I know I turned you off and all. You can go if you want. It’s fine.”</p><p>            He closed the distance between them in three steps and put his hands on her shoulders.</p><p>            “You’re a damn fool if ya think that turned me off,” Tora said, his voice low.</p><p>            “Then why’d you leave?” Poppy said, her voice quivering.</p><p>            “Ya took me by surprise. I thought… with your ex and all… or maybe kissing was fine, but ya weren’t ready for the rest of it.”</p><p>            Poppy blushed. “It’s not like that. It’s not like I’m, you know, saving myself. It just never felt right, with him. I never wanted to. With you, I… I want to.” She swallowed. He could feel his heart beating hard, could feel blood rushing back down, feel the front of his pants tightening.</p><p>            “Well shit,” Tora said.</p><p>            “Does that sound stupid?” Poppy asked.</p><p>            “Hell no. But you’re sure ya wanna do this? With me? Shit, Bobby, we’re practically strangers.” Internally begging her to say yes, he pulled her up against him, wrapping his arms around her.</p><p>            “I wouldn’t say strangers,” she blushed. “But I’ve been waiting long enough. I want to know what it feels like, if you’ll show me.”</p><p>            Tora bent over and kissed her again, this time bringing up a big calloused hand to gently stroke her cheek and to tuck her hair back behind her ear.</p><p>            “Tora?” she asked, pulling her head back, a few kisses later.</p><p>            “Mm?”</p><p>            “Just… be gentle with me, okay?”</p><p>            A lump in his throat. A hand, tightening around his heart. She, asking him—trusting him--? To be gentle. Right and wrong, out the window. Questions about the future, gone. She said she wanted him. Wanted to.</p><p>            This time, he didn’t pick her up, but instead led her back into the bedroom. Poppy shut the door, leaving them in darkness.</p><p>            “Ya sure about this, Bobby?” he whispered, his hands running slowly up and down her body as they stood together in the dark.</p><p>            “Yeah,” she said, her voice sounding determined. He smiled. He could barely make out her expression, but he knew the look she must have been wearing in his mind.</p><p>            “If I go too fast, or ya wanna stop, tell me,” he said. “I’m not gonna force things. You can change ya mind.”</p><p>            “I know. I… I want this, Tora. I’m sure”</p><p>            Slowly, Tora drew her shirt over her head, and then pulled down her sweatpants, helping her balance while she stepped out of them. He pushed her softly back onto the bed, then undressed himself down to his boxers. Fighting to restrain himself was going to be a challenge, but he would have to.</p><p>            She was precious, and fragile, and new to it all.</p><p>            Worse, there was a chance it was the only night he’d ever get to spend with her.</p><p>There was no rushing this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Goddamned Angel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora knew taking Poppy's virginity was something special. What he didn't know was how much it would change his own feelings... and test every boundary of his self-restraint. One thing is for certain: his life will never be the same after this.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Part two! Thanks for reading.</p><p>This was meant to only be a two-chapter thing, but if people like it I might write a few more scenes of what happens next!</p><p>Eternal thanks to Lilydusk for making these sexy characters! :). </p>
<hr/><p>From a young age, Tora’s body had been schooled to obedience. Control kept him from making idiotic moves in bad situations. Control pushed him during workouts and trainings to keep himself in fighting shape, even when he was exhausted. He was prone to outbursts and reckless displays of power—that was life, in the clan—but he was always, always in control.</p><p>That control was close to breaking now. Poppy lay on her bed where he’d pushed her, wearing nothing but a bra and panties. He towered over her for a moment in only his boxers, then, slowly, fighting to restrain himself, lay down beside her.</p><p>He <em>wanted</em> to climb on top of her, rip the scanty cloth coverings off her body, pin her down, and bury himself in her. <em>Wanted</em>. But wouldn’t. She’d asked for gentleness. That was a world foreign to Tora, but nothing else would do. He didn’t want this to be a bad memory for her.</p><p>She turned to face him, her arms tight against her full chest. She was still nervous. That much was obvious, even in the dark. He wasn’t used to calming anyone down. He wasn’t really sure where to begin, but he knew he had to try. The desperate, full, straining of his cock was matched only by a gripping heartache: fear of hurting her, and a painful wonder in the trust she seemed to have for him.</p><p>They lay on top of the blankets. Maybe she’d feel safer if she were covered? He lifted himself and began to pull them back. Seeing what he was doing, Poppy crawled under. He pulled the light blanket over both of them, then reached for her.</p><p>The distance between them shrunk as he carefully pulled her towards him. They lay facing each other, on their sides. One of Tora’s huge muscled arms was cradling her head. The other rested briefly on her back, then began to move. He stroked her side, the dip of her waist. He ran his fingertips over her thighs, then to her stomach. He traced the outline of one breast.</p><p>Softly. Not grabbing. Like she was made of glass.</p><p>His hand went to her back again, holding her against him. He kissed her with as little force as possible, just grazing her lips.</p><p>Poppy’s body responded to him. Cradled against Tora, wrapped in blankets, hidden in the dark, she began to find her courage. Her hands loosened from where she’d held them against herself. Swallowing her nervousness, she began to trace the outlines of his body as well. His wide, muscled shoulders—his bicep, as hard as a rock—his abs—his whole body was hard and solid, a perfect counterpoint to the delicate way he was touching her. It was amazing that a man whose body was crafted to violence was capable of actions like this.</p><p>She leaned into his kisses, which slowly grew firmer, harder. Poppy’s breathing began to speed up, her exhales between kisses becoming audible. Tora’s grip on her back tightened. He pressed himself against her. She could feel his bulge pressing against her, as hard as the rest of him.</p><p>When her hand made its way to his boxers, he inhaled sharply. She left her hand on his waist for the length of one kiss, then another. His hand climbed up her back to deftly unhook her bra. He pulled the crush of his body away from her to slide one strap off her shoulder, and tug. Poppy had to half sit up to help get the thing off her. Had the room been less dark, Tora would have seen her blush.</p><p>Instead, he pulled her back down beside him, his breathing getting heavier and heavier as he ran his free hand over her chest, feeling the fullness of her figure. He rubbed his thumb over one nipple, then the other. They hardened, slightly.</p><p>And Poppy <em>moaned</em>. Fuck. How was he supposed to resist himself, his hand on her naked breast, a soft noise of pure desire snaking out of her? He nearly growled. His hand twitched down for a moment. If she wasn’t going to take his cock, he’d free it himself—but no. Tora’s hand hovered above both their hips for a moment, before slowly coming back to rest on Poppy’s chest. <em>Easy. Slow</em>. Instead he buried his face for a moment between her breasts, then slipped his mouth over one nipple. He traced it with his tongue, then lightly with his teeth. She moaned again, and pressed herself into him.</p><p>Helpless to resist any longer, Tora’s hand made its way to Poppy’s hips. He pushed her gently over onto her back, then rose up over her. She lifted her hips obligingly as he pulled her underwear down and off her.</p><p>“Bobby?” He asked, as she settled back down to the mattress, her hand still unmoved from the waistline of his boxers.</p><p>“Mmnn?”</p><p>“Ya okay so far?” His voice was ragged with desire.</p><p>“Mm. Yeah.”</p><p>“Ya gotta tell me if it’s too much.”</p><p>Her only answer was to hook one finger into his underwear and pull him closer.</p><p>Tora lay beside her at an angle, half resting on his side and half hovering over her. He traced the outlines of her body again, slowly, starting at her neck and working his way lower. He fought to keep an excited tremble out of his fingers. Every exhale and gasping breath she made matched his hand’s movements. The power was intoxicating, and he trailed his hands over her, focusing on every response her body made, memorizing the feel of her.</p><p>Poppy tugged at his boxers again. It took him a moment to realize she was trying to get them off of him. He eased his cock free and shoved the clothing off, then returned his hand to her, resting his palm on the inside of her thigh, then trailing his fingers up to the wet patch of hair between her legs.</p><p>Poppy’s right hand found his shaft, then jerked away to form a small fist against her chest. She swallowed. Tora exhaled hard and tried to quell the loud <em>wanting</em> in his mind.</p><p>“It doesn’t bite,” he whispered.</p><p>“It’s just, um… bigger? Than I thought?”</p><p>“What, s’that a bad thing?” He grinned despite himself, and couldn’t deny he was pleased by her reaction.</p><p> Delicately, without talking, she took him in her hands again—both hands, this time. Tora moaned, and bent over her. His free hand pressed between her legs, but the will to explore her was temporarily taken from him. Pleasure lanced through his body as Poppy felt him: his skin velvet and warm; the flesh beneath it hard as iron. His dick jerked in her hands, hunting to get inside her. Her hands circled his shaft. She ran them slowly up and down his length.</p><p>Tora buried his head against her neck, breathing hard.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>, Poppy,” he groaned. After a few waves of pleasure, Tora pushed her thighs apart and ran his finger over her opening. He rubbed her clit slowly, gently, then firmer.</p><p>“<em>Oh</em>,” Poppy said, in a sort of strangled moan.</p><p>He’d come back to that later. He wanted to be in her, any part of him. Pushing a finger between her lips, he moaned at how tight and swollen her pussy felt. If just his finger felt crushed, fucking her was going to feel… he made himself focus, sliding his thumb back across her clit while pushing in deeper with first one finger, then two. Her hips bucked up to meet him.</p><p>Involuntarily, she tightened her hold on his cock, then ran her hands up and down faster. Her breathing was hard and heavy. Her hips lifted again, seeking the pleasure his hands gave. If she kept this up, he was going to finish before they’d even started. As badly as he wanted to be inside her, it wasn’t time. Not yet.</p><p>Poppy gave a soft cry when he pulled his hand back. He placed it on first one of her hands, then the other, prying her off of him and moving her arms to wrap around his neck instead.</p><p>“Did I do it wrong?” Poppy asked, through her heavy breath.</p><p>“Ya did fine. But unless ya want me to cum all over ya…”</p><p>“Oh. <em>Oh.</em>” she said, and sounded a little pleased. Tora’s mouth twitched up at the corner.</p><p>            He kissed her, and this time the gentleness wasn’t just restraint. It was affection, too.</p><p>            “Tora?” she asked when he pulled his mouth away.</p><p>            “Yeah, sweetheart?”</p><p>            “Can you do that thing with your hand, again?”</p><p>            He laughed outright and returned his hand to her center.</p><p>            “Ya liked that?”</p><p>            “It felt really good.”</p><p>            “Anyone ever done that to ya before?” His voice was dangerous and low, heavy with desire, rough with the will of holding himself back. He plunged his fingers into her, pumping with his hand, then pulled them out and up to the small nub of pleasure that was her clit.</p><p>            “N..n…no.” She had to gasp to get the word out, having lost all control over her breath. Her body surged against Tora’s hand as he rubbed at her, his hand slick with the wetness she’d made.</p><p>            “Ya do it to yourself?” He wanted to know, whispering into her ear before tugging at her earlobe with his teeth.</p><p>            “Y…yes.. but… n…not as…good.” She hunted for his lips and kissed him, pulling his face to hers. Her arms were weak, but he let himself be guided. After a few more moments, Poppy couldn’t keep kissing. She was breathing too hard, her hips moving, her focus gone from Tora and bent inwards.</p><p>            He raised himself up on his knees.</p><p>            Tora kept one hand on her, rubbing in small circles now as she moaned and reached for him. Her arms fell back to the bed, where they grabbed at anything—sheets, the blanket. He pulled it back, away from her. His eyes were adjusted to the dim light by now, and the sight of her curved body writhing in front of him was nearly too much to handle. Knowing that he was the one doing it to her was something else entirely.</p><p>            He grabbed the base of his cock with his newly freed hand, the one that he’d been resting on before. He jerked at himself for a moment before willing himself to stop. <em>Jus’ a little longer</em>, he told himself. <em>Ya can wait that much, ya horny bastard.</em></p><p>            Poppy’s cries were getting louder, and closer together.</p><p>            Tora maneuvered himself lower down the bed. He spread her legs further apart, positioning his shoulders between them. His right hand stayed on her; the left slipped under one of her thighs and around it to grip her waist. He began to kiss his way across her stomach, her hips, her thighs. Poppy struggled to sit up, her hands reaching and meeting the top of his head.</p><p>            “Tora? Wha…?”</p><p>            “Shh. Jus’ relax, Bobby.”</p><p>            “Y…you don’t… have to do that,” she said.</p><p>            He stopped rubbing at her and peered up. Her chest was still heaving, rising, and falling with the heavy, panting breaths she continued to make. Her big eyes were half-closed and lidded, her hair a tangled mess.  </p><p>            “An’ what if I want ta?” he asked.</p><p>            Poppy didn’t have words to answer. She leaned back, and let out a cry as his tongue traced her opening. Tora fought back a moan of his own.</p><p>            It wasn’t much longer before Poppy was grinding herself against him again. He fought to keep up with her wild movements, to keep the pace with tongue and fingers. It felt like she was struggling against him, as desperate for his cock as it was for her. But Tora didn’t mind the wait, not right now. Her smell and taste filled his mind. She was like a wild animal bucking against him.</p><p>            Poppy’s moans began to build to a crescendo again.</p><p>            “Tora!” she cried, wrapping her fingers into his long hair and yanking.</p><p>            “Unh?” he answered, lifting his face to her. The hair pulling didn’t hurt; she had big enough fistfuls there was no sharp pain, just a pleasure that raced from the crown of his head down his body.</p><p>            “Don’t stop.” Poppy begged. Those words made him throb. <em>Jus’ a little longer</em>, he told himself again.</p><p>            Tora kept going. He didn’t stop, not until her back arched one final time, froze, then finally went limp. The loud cries from her lips died into silence.</p><p>            She was as soft as silk now, her body a puddle on the bed. Her breathing evened out. Slowly, she loosened the hold on his hair. Tora pulled himself up the bed. With the taste of her on his lips, he kissed her, long and soft, then long and hard. She kissed back, but was too spent to even wrap her arms around him. Rising higher, Tora’s cock came to the level of her pussy. It twitched on its own.</p><p>            “Pops? Ya good?”</p><p>            She nodded. Words were beyond her.</p><p>            “Are ya ready to… is it okay if I…”</p><p>            She could feel him against her, and nodded again, finally raising her arms to hold onto him.</p><p>            “’m ready,” she managed to say.</p><p>            “Okay. One moment,” Tora said. He disentangled himself and left the bed, his legs weak and shaking though he hadn’t used them. His hands hunted through the pile of clothes they’d left on the floor until he found his wallet, and an old condom in it. He ripped the package open with his teeth, and then rolled the covering over himself, breath heavy with anticipation. Gripping the base of his shaft, he returned to the bed.</p><p>Tora planted himself once more over Poppy’s soft, warm body, gently pushing her legs farther apart. He guided the tip of his long manhood to the opening between her legs, where he rubbed it along her, teasing her clit and slipping just the edge between her lips. Poppy moaned quietly. The sound was so soft compared to her earlier yells, but it burned into him.</p><p>            Tora planted one hand next to Poppy’s head, supporting himself over her. His weight split between his arm and her body, he pressed against her without crushing her.</p><p>            “Are ya sure? No going back, Bobby,” he whispered, his voice rough with anticipation.</p><p>            Rather than nod, or speak, Poppy moved her hands down to his waist, and helped guide him inside her.</p><p>            Relief. For a moment. The burning ache that had been between his legs sated itself. He entered her slowly but easily. She was so wet that there was no resistance apart from the tightness of her body, and with a gentle force he slowly drove his whole length into her until he was buried up to the base. Poppy gasped sharply. Tora cried out; he couldn’t help it.</p><p>            “Ya feel amazing,” he managed to say. Poppy’s only response was to wrap her legs around him, holding him close. Her hands found their way back up to his shoulders, then rested on his arms, which now lay on either side of her head.</p><p>            Tora groaned as Poppy’s legs pulled him in, her hips tilting up to allow him a fraction of an inch deeper access. He ground himself against her, then pulled back. Like an archer the movement out was slow and careful; the snap forward hard and fast. The relief was gone, the fire burning hotter than ever. He needed her.</p><p>            Tora was determined to control this as carefully as he’d controlled everything else between them, determined to give her a slow and gentle introduction to having a man inside her. Unfortunately, Tora’s finely-honed control had snapped. He finally gave way to the beast inside him. His big cock pumped in and out of her, governed by nothing but raw desire. A growl of pleasure escaped his lips.</p><p>            Poppy moaned, then moaned louder.</p><p>He thrust, and thrust again, and kept going, hard and fast. One hand left her side to snake under her arched back and hold her to him. He grunted and kept working at her. There was nothing in his mind but <em>need</em>. It was overwhelming. Nothing existed for him in that moment but the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of her, desperately searching for release in the wet home between her legs.</p><p>The hand that had gone to her waist pulled away, found her leg, pushed it up to give him even better access than before. Tora thrust again. Now his moans matched Poppy’s. With each pulsing movement of his body, they bent towards each other, then away, their breaths matching as they each gasped, or moaned, or cried out every time he entered her. Her nails dug into his skin. He kissed her neck, then bit it. For a moment their lips found each other, and they kissed with hunger before his head bent away again.</p><p>Tora’s movements slowed. He savored the feeling of her, the tightness and the way her body gripped him as he pushed into it. Tora pulled his length all the way back until just the head of his cock was in her, then slowly drove it forward, inching his way through her, shuddering when he was finally all the way inside again. He inched back out. Slid his cock into her. Inched back…</p><p><em>Slammed</em> into her. No control. No restraint. Slammed again. Again. As hard as he could.</p><p>He was fucking her now, <em>hard</em>, his body ramming into hers with all the speed and power he could muster. Tora was mindless except for need and a growing pleasure that threatened to burst from inside him. He thrust himself so hard into her that he would’ve worried about breaking her, had his mind had space for thoughts like that.</p><p>The pleasure rose in him, and crested. Tora buried himself deep in Poppy and stopped moving. She felt his cock pulse in her as his seed spilled out of the shaft. A moment of stillness. Then he pulsed again, and a third time, with a long, low moan of satisfaction.</p><p>            Long moments passed in utter stillness before either of them moved. Tora lay against Poppy, his breathing hard and deep and content. Poppy’s legs remained wrapped around his back, one foot hooked around the other’s ankle to hold her there. Her hands rested against his shoulders. Her mind was blank, but good; the pleasure had overwhelmed her, cleansed every thought from her like a wildfire, left her to lie back in peace unlike any she’d known.</p><p>            Observations came to Tora slowly. The feeling of her chest pressing up against him. The rise and fall of her breath. The way her legs and arms were slowly loosening in exhaustion, and threatening to slip away from him. The smell of her. The feel of her soft body in his arms. The tangle of her hair that spread around her like a halo; his own dark hair falling around them like a waterfall. He didn’t want the moment to end, but then she stirred. He pressed himself up off the bed and went to find the bathroom. He cleaned himself off, then returned to bed.</p><p>            Poppy was on her side, fighting to keep her eyes open.</p><p>            “How was it?” Tora asked, laying back down beside her.</p><p>            Poppy buried her face against him.</p><p>            “What? Are ya okay?” He swallowed. He knew he shouldn’t have taken her like that. Not that it was rough, as far as sex went. But for a woman as sweet as her, and for her first time… had it been too much? <em>Fuck. If I hurt her…</em></p><p>            But she nodded happily against him and pulled her face back to answer.</p><p>            “I didn’t know it’d feel so good,” she whispered, her voice weak with exhaustion. “And… I thought it was supposed to hurt.”</p><p>            “It didn’t?” He asked.</p><p>            “No. Not really. Maybe for a moment. But… it was worth it.”</p><p>            “Mmm,” Tora said. He pulled her against him and smiled.</p><p>            “Tora?”</p><p>            “Yeah?”</p><p>            “…Spend the night?”</p><p>            “Sure thing, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>------</p><p> </p><p>            He woke to sunlight, and Poppy stirring in his arms. Tora had never slept beside someone like that. His previous encounters with sex had been cold and without affection. If he’d fallen asleep besides a woman, there had been no holding each other through the night.</p><p>            Poppy blinked awake, then seemed to finally register that Tora was in her bed, and both of them were naked. Her face turned scarlet.</p><p>            “G’morning,” he said, his voice husky. “Or did ya forget last night that fast?”</p><p>            “I didn’t forget,” Poppy said, pulling the blanket up over her chest. “Can you, um… turn around? While I get changed?”</p><p>            “C’mon, Bobby. I’ve seen it all before.” Why so shy now? She really wasn’t like any of the women he’d been with before. <em>Stop comparing ‘em</em>, his brain said. <em>There’s no point. Ya know she’s not from yer world. She’s a goddamned angel.</em></p><p>            That thought made <em>him</em> blush. He turned over and shut his eyes without another word from Poppy. He’d been more than lucky to get what he had last night. He knew he didn’t deserve another second by her side—not him, whose hands were more often covered in blood than they were buried in someone’s hair, or holding a lover, or… <em>fuck. </em></p><p>            He had no place in her life, but he also knew now that leaving was beyond him. <em>Please, Poppy. Have the strength to push me away. I’m no good for ya. But I’m not leaving unless ya make me. Ever.</em></p><p>            “Breakfast?” Poppy said, tapping his shoulder. He opened his eyes; she was fully clothed, this time in a light and flowery dress. She piled her hair in a bun while he sat up and looked at her in the light, and thought:<em> she’s even more beautiful than I gave her credit for before.</em></p><p>            “Wha’ time is it?” Tora asked, reaching down to the ground to fumble for his pants and the phone in the pocket.</p><p>            “Just after eight,” said Poppy, as Tora cursed. His phone was dead. He’d catch trouble if someone needed him and he couldn’t be reached. He knew he was on thin ice with the boss these days already.</p><p>            “I can’t stay,” said Tora, with actual regret. “Work… ya know.”</p><p>            “Oh. Sure.” Poppy looked away and forced a smile. Did she think he was lying? That was an unbearable thought. He didn’t know how to begin to tell her what she was to him, what last night had felt like. But he had to say something. Poppy left the room while Tora clothed himself. He found her in her kitchen, making coffee. Coming up behind her, he touched her shoulder. When she spun, he caught her in a hug.</p><p>            “Bobby?” He asked, his voice tentative, and as nervous as she’d ever heard it. He held her close, half to feel her warmth, half so she couldn’t see the embarrassed blush creeping across his face.</p><p>            “What?” She said, squirming to free herself. He didn’t let go, not yet.</p><p>            “Will ya have dinner with me? An’… shit… maybe… see a movie, or… some crap like that?” How did people do this? What were you supposed to say?</p><p>            Poppy pushed against him, and this time he released her. She took a step back and studied his face, incredulous. Disbelieving.</p><p>            “Tora… are you asking me on a date?”</p><p>            He looked away and scratched his head, then shrugged and looked back.</p><p>            “Unless ya were just usin’ me for my body,” he joked. Poppy covered her giggle with a hand.</p><p>            “Well, okay. Yeah. I’d like that,” she said.</p><p>            “Good. Then I’ll call ya later.”</p><p>            She walked him to the door, where he slipped on his shoes and tied the laces tight. He felt good, loose; there was no tension in his body. His heart was full and singing. There was a dumb-ass grin on his face that he couldn’t seem to wipe off.</p><p>            “Lock up behind me, kid,” he said gruffly, and bent to kiss Poppy’s forehead.</p><p>            In his car, he touched his fingers to his lips, and smiled. For a moment he collapsed over the steering wheel, the smile turning into a grin.</p><p>            “Jesus. Fuck,” he said, shaking his head and turning the key.</p><p>            After one last look at her balcony, he sped out of the lot. His music was as loud as it could go, his windows down. A laugh escaped his throat.</p><p>            Tora had never felt so happy to be alive.</p><p> </p><p>           </p><p> </p><p>           </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Tulips</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora has no idea how to act on a date, but he's doing his best. Unfortunately, it's hard to focus on a movie when you can't stop picturing the girl next to you naked.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> This really was supposed to be a two-part thing!</p><p>But as I wrote the end of Ch. 2 I kept thinking how their date would go...</p><p>add in all the sweet comments (Thanks, y'all &lt;3--they really did encourage me to keep going!)</p><p>and, well... here you have it. I got no "real" work done today!</p><p>Let me know what you think!</p><p>I'll keep going until I run out of things I want to write. A small collection of firsts between Pops &amp; her Tiger.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>           By noon, Tora’s good feeling was gone. <em>Fuckin’ idiot</em>, he said to himself. <em>Ya weren’t supposed to ask her out. Hell, ya weren’t even supposed to go over last night. The </em>hell<em> were ya thinking?</em> He alternated between berating himself and remembering flashes of her body, the noises she’d made… the result was that he was both pissed off and turned on. All around, not a mood that bore well for the world around him.</p><p>Trying to work it off, he went to the private gym and lifted weights until his body could barely move, then ran until he wanted to throw up. He was trying to keep his mind clear, but couldn’t stop the thoughts from coming in.</p><p>            One in particular kept bothering him. Even if he knew Poppy was safe, even if he could hide her, protect her, keep her out of his fucked-up world…</p><p>            He didn’t know the first <em>thing</em> about romance. No way he <em>wasn’t</em> going to fuck this up. She’d called herself a ‘freak’ the night before for being a virgin, but she’d gotten it wrong. Tora was the freak. At least Poppy had been in a relationship. Even if it <em>was</em> with the human equivalent of used toilet paper.</p><p>Tora had bedded his share of women, but he’d never once been on a date. Forgetting that he’d spent plenty of time alone with her without any problems, Tora kneaded over every possible mishap in his mind. He imagined Poppy mad at him, or disappointed, or recoiling in disgust. Him saying some cheesy line. Her laughing, but the laugh cruel. No, that fantasy went too far, at least. She wasn’t the type to laugh cruelly. But the rest was all too easy to picture. Hell, what if he called her up and she said she’d changed her mind already?</p><p>            Resting on the edge of a weight bench, he propped his forehead on his hands and tried to think straight. For better or worse, he knew he wasn’t going to cancel. He could yell at himself all week long, but he had to see her again. That was that.</p><p>            With a sigh, Tora grabbed his phone and called the one person he knew he could count on to help. He lay back on the bench as the phone rang, feeling the burn of spent muscle in his arms as he slipped the headset into his ear.</p><p>            “…Honey, you’re kidding, right?” Quincey said for the third time after Tora explained himself.</p><p>            “For tha last time, no. Look, if ya aren’t gonna be helpful…” Tora gestured rudely in the air in front of him, well aware that Quincey couldn’t see it over the phone.</p><p>            “Calm down, calm down. You know I’ll help,” Quincey drawled. “But give me a moment to get over my shock, mkay? You have to understand, you are the <em>last</em> person I imagined coming to me for this sort of thing.”</p><p>            “Make yerself useful for once, why don’tcha?” Tora growled.</p><p>            “It’s just, did you <em>have</em> to say dinner and a movie? Couldn’t you have <em>picked</em> a more cliché place to start?”</p><p>            “Quince…”</p><p>            “Alright, alright. Let me think.”</p><p>----</p><p>            Two days later, Tora scrubbed every fleck of blood out from under his fingernails. It had been a long day, and a dark one. He’d been called on to recall some overdue debts. With the crunch of bone still echoing in his mind, he took a deep breath and looked himself straight in the mirror.</p><p>            “Don’t fuck this up, idiot,” he muttered out loud, staring himself right in the eye. There was a speck of blood on his chin. <em>Fuck</em>. Did he have time to shower?</p><p>            One hour until he was supposed to pick her up. His phone buzzed. A message from Poppy. His hand shook as he opened it.</p><p>            <em>Dress code?? See you soon :-) </em></p><p>He stared at the smiley face, then answered.</p><p>            <em>Whatever u want. See ya soon.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>---</p><p>            Tora was only ten minutes late, his wet hair tied back, his baseball hat low over his face as he sped into the parking lot.</p><p>“Shit,” he said as his car’s clock ticked one minute later, as if one minute was going to make a difference.</p><p>            <em>‘Don’t make her come out to you. Go to her door, like a gentleman,’</em> Quince had said.</p><p>            Tora took the stairs two at a time and knocked on her door. When she opened, he was frozen for a moment looking at her.</p><p>            “…hey, Tora,” Poppy said.</p><p>            Her hair was in two braids. She didn’t really need makeup, but she was wearing it; her big eyes smokey, her soft lips tinged pink and glistening. She’d put on jeans and a v-neck that hugged her body and showed a tantalizing hint of her ample cleavage. A small purse was at her side, the strap cutting diagonally across her chest.</p><p>            <em>Focus, ya creep</em>, Tora thought as he stared at her lips and imagined all the things they could do to him.</p><p>            “Sorry,” he said roughly, and thrust a handful of pink supermarket flowers in her direction. He wouldn’t have been late without the flowers. But Quincey had said to bring flowers.</p><p>            “… ‘Sorry?’” Poppy repeated, blinking at the flowers but not moving.</p><p>            “Fer bein’ late,” Tora growled, and waved the flowers at her. “Just… take em’, will ya?”</p><p>            “Tulips?” Poppy said softly, and accepted the flowers.</p><p>            “Throw ‘em out, if you hate ‘em,” Tora said. He didn’t mean for his voice to bristle at her, but his heart was pounding. He was ready for her to yell at him or slam the door in his face.</p><p>            Poppy’s eyes widened. “Of… of course I don’t hate them. I’m just a little surprised, okay? I didn’t exactly think you were the type.”</p><p>            “Yeah, well.” Embarrassed, Tora jammed his hands into his jean pockets and looked down at the ground.</p><p>            “Well, come in. Let me put these in water before we go.” She turned away, and he noticed her bending her head down to smell them. He waited by the door until she returned.</p><p>            “Ready?” Tora asked, his voice still a low grumble.</p><p>            Poppy paused, her hand going to her throat. She looked a little nervous, suddenly, looking up at him. Tora shoved his hands deeper in his pockets. Why’d she have to look up at him like that, all vulnerable, like some little rabbit or hamster or shit?</p><p>            “Are you mad at me, or something?” Poppy asked. “If you changed your mind about going out, it’s okay. You shouldn’t feel like you have to, just because we… you know…” her face blushed.</p><p>            Tora’s lips parted slightly. <em>Fuckin’ it up already. Called it.</em> He shut his eyes, then shook his head and looked at her.</p><p>            “I didn’t change my mind,” He said. When she kept looking at him, seeming to need more of an explanation, he sighed. “Shit. This is new ta me, okay? I<em>… might</em> be a bit nervous.”</p><p>            Poppy giggled, and rewarded him with a grin. “<em>You? </em>Nervous? I didn’t think you got nervous.”</p><p>            “Yeah, well.” Tora tugged at his hat, fighting back a blush of his own. “C’mon. Let’s get ya cute ass to the movies.”</p><p>            He followed her down the stairs, and had to admit he liked watching her move. Since she wouldn’t catch him staring, he took full advantage. Already his mind was flitting back to the night they’d spent together. <em>Cut it out, or ya aren’t gonna make it to tha damn movie</em>, he thought. He got the car door for her, which seemed to surprise Poppy again.</p><p>            “I didn’t know you were such a gentleman,” she said, clutching her bag as he started the car.</p><p>            Tora gulped. His thoughts certainly weren’t gentlemanly, but she didn’t need to know that.</p><p>            “I’m not,” was all he said.</p><p>            The theater was far. There were closer ones, but after careful thought he hadn’t wanted to take her anywhere near Ares street. The thought that they’d already been seen together was bad. The thought that someone might notice the pattern was worse. He wasn’t ready for anybody to start asking questions about her. Cute as she was, anyone who saw her with him would remember her. He was sure of that, because he knew <em>he’d</em> remember a girl like her, even if he hadn’t met her in such a memorable way.</p><p>            They rode in awkward silence. Despite the intimacy they’d shared, there was a tension between them now that hadn’t existed before. Tora opened his mouth a few times to speak, but was always worried he’d say some idiot thing and ruin the night. Poppy stared out the window, occasionally sneaking glances at his jawline, his shoulders… his hands, gripping the steering wheel. She bit her bottom lip and clutched her purse tighter. <em>His hands—</em>she remembered <em>those</em> all too clearly. Until the events of two nights ago, Poppy would never have believed a pair of hands could make her blush.</p><p>            “Whatcha lookin’ at?” Tora asked, glancing over as he noticed Poppy stiffen and go red in the face.</p><p>            “Nothing,” she squeaked, turning away.</p><p>            The big man grinned.</p><p>            “Then whatcha <em>thinkin’ </em>about?”</p><p>            “Just… remembering… the other night,” Poppy mumbled, her voice trailing off as she spoke.</p><p>            “Heh,” said Tora, and reached a hand over to grab hers. He smiled the rest of the way to the theater, his big hand swallowing her little one. Though they were silent the rest of the drive, it was more comfortable than the silence that had reigned before. A silence full of promise, rather than held back words.</p><p>            “What are we seeing?” Poppy asked as they waited in line for tickets. Tora was holding her hand again.</p><p>            He named a romance drama: once again, a recommendation from Quincey.</p><p>            “Seriously?” Poppy said. “I can’t believe you’d want to see that. Who are you? What did you do with Tora?”</p><p>            He scratched his head. “Shit. Thought you’d like it.”</p><p>            “I’m sure I would, but let’s pick something we’d both like, okay?”</p><p>            Tora wasn’t about to tell her that a romance movie didn’t sound as awful to him as it once would have, or that he didn’t care what they saw so long as he was sitting next to her. Nor was he about to tell her that Quincey had promised it was good, and kinda sexy. Instead he just nodded.</p><p>            “What do you like?” Poppy asked, scanning the billboard.</p><p>            “Action? Horror?” Tora offered. Poppy shuddered, making him chuckle.</p><p>            “Woah! It’s out already?” Her eyes lit up at the name of a cutesy animated PG film. “Do you like kids’ movies?”</p><p>            Tora winced and opened his mouth to tell her that a neon-colored story about animals was sure as hell gonna be more boring than a romance flick, but sighed inwardly instead, and smiled at her.</p><p>            “Sounds good ta me.”</p><p>            It was a short wait to the next showing, and they wandered the neighborhood the theater was in. Tora noted with interest that people didn’t give him as wide a berth as they usually did. Holding hands with Poppy, he probably looked a lot less like he was about to beat someone up. They window shopped and chatted about nothing until it was time to go into the dark theater, where they sat in the far back. Thankfully it was almost empty; Tora didn’t cherish the idea of being surrounded by screaming kids at a time like this.</p><p>            Even as simple as the plot was, Tora couldn’t focus on it. Poppy’s hands were both on the drink he’d bought her, but their arms kept brushing. The light from the screen flickered across her face, but the room was dark, and nobody was behind them. He couldn’t help but think about what he wanted to do to her.</p><p>            A movie really had been a bad idea. He didn’t want her thinking all he cared about was sex, but here, in the back of a dark room, with a film he couldn’t care less about playing, Tora couldn’t think of anything else. He imagined touching her and remembered how she’d writhed under him. Then he thought about her touching <em>him</em>, and blood flooded into his crotch. Somehow, he found himself halfway into daydreaming about Poppy giving him a blowjob right there in the theater (never mind that she’d almost definitely never done <em>that</em> before in her life). He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable, and wondered if he could readjust himself without her noticing.</p><p>            Tora glanced at Poppy, silently begging her to be bored of the film and looking at him. He wanted so badly to kiss her, but she was giggling and watching the movie. She noticed his gaze and glanced over at him. She must have noticed his desperate, anguished look.</p><p>            “Everything okay?” she whispered, leaning in towards his ear.</p><p>He nodded and tried to focus on the screen. He had no idea what was going on, having missed half the plot.</p><p>            “Who’s that guy?” Tora asked, leaning over to Poppy.</p><p>            “Hm? Haven’t you been paying attention?”</p><p>            “I think I dozed off,” Tora said. “Can ya catch me up?”</p><p>            “Not my fault,” said Poppy, with a wicked grin. When he opened his mouth to talk again, she covered it with one of her hands, and turned back to the screen.</p><p>            Her touch was electric. <em>Fuck</em>. <em>How much longer does this thing go? I can’t take it anymore</em>. He thought about slipping off to the restroom to take care of himself, but the thought was embarrassing. <em>Just how much of a creep are ya, huh? Can’t even make it through a movie?</em> <em>No wonder ya never had a date before. Ya aren’t made for it</em>.</p><p>            He pried her hand off his mouth and clutched it tightly in his own. He gripped the edge of the armrest with the other hand and fixed his gaze on the screen. He could make it through one damn movie. The alternative was not an option. At last the film ended.</p><p>            “That really wasn’t your thing, was it?” Poppy asked as they got up to leave, still holding hands. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have suggested it.” A thought occurred to her, and she visibly winced. “Please don’t judge me for liking kiddy stuff like that.”</p><p>            Tora snorted. “I’m gonna make fun of ya. But I’m not gonna judge ya, Bobby.” He wrapped her up in a hug and planted a kiss on the top of her head before realizing she could probably feel how hard he still was. <em>Fuck, that was dumb</em>, Tora thought, pulling away.</p><p>But Poppy grabbed onto his arm. She hesitated for a moment, battling shyness, before gently reaching out a hand and touching his crotch.</p><p>“Are ya feelin’ me up?” he whispered. The room was almost empty now. “Wanna go? Here?”</p><p>“Here? Of… of course not, Tora! I just didn’t realize you were, um. <em>Y’know</em>.”</p><p>“Sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear, half bending over. “I can’t stop thinkin’ about ya. Gonna judge <em>me</em>?”</p><p>“I can’t stop thinking about it either,” Poppy said, her voice halfway to a squeak. “Sh…should we head back early?”</p><p>“Takeout? ‘Stead of a restaurant?” Tora suggested, his breath coming heavy, his hands settling on the round of her ass and pulling her against him. She squirmed to get free, and he let her, settling for taking her hand again.</p><p>“<em>Not here</em>, please, Tora! But…yeah. Let’s go to my place.”</p><p>Tora spotted a sign for the men’s room as they left the theater.</p><p>“Wait here,” he told Poppy, and went to fix himself for the drive home.</p><p>----</p><p> </p><p>Tora wasn’t gone long, but he spotted trouble when he returned. Two big guys—not as big as him; no one really was—were leering over Poppy.</p><p>A storm cloud settled over Tora’s face. The smile that had been playing on his lips vanished into a straight, hard line. One of the men reached out and brushed her arm; she flinched away.</p><p>“C’mon, just give me your number,” the creep said. Poppy shook her head.</p><p>Tora’s muscles tensed as he strode to them, fury and disgust etched on his face. He grabbed the guy who’d touched her by the collar, yanking him violently away from Poppy.</p><p>“Tora! Don’t!” she cried.</p><p>His arm was cocked back to punch the guy as Poppy yelled. It jolted him out of his anger and back to the crowded theater entryway.</p><p>People were watching.</p><p>Poppy was staring at him, trembling.</p><p>“Don’t cause a scene. Please. Let’s just go.”</p><p>Tora shoved the guy back, and grabbed Poppy’s hand.</p><p>“Asshole,” the creep yelled after them as they walked away. Poppy felt Tora stiffen with rage and squeezed his hand.</p><p>At the car, he rested for a moment against the hood, his arms shaking. He kept playing it over in his mind. All the guy had done was ask for her number, brush her arm… it was bad, and he didn’t like it, but in his head it had been so much worse. In his head, it had been every fear he had about Poppy’s future, and her involvement with him, and the violence he was putting her at risk of just by staying in her life.</p><p>What if he <em>had</em> gotten carried away? This wasn’t Ares street. This was a neighborhood where cops came. If he’d taken that guy and his friend down and beaten them to a bloody pulp like he meant to, he’d have been arrested for sure. And Poppy… she would have seen that side of him. God. He’d come so close to losing it. <em>Yer an animal</em>, the voice in his head said. <em>Ya can’t hide it from her forever. </em></p><p>“Are you okay?” Poppy said, putting a trembling arm on him.</p><p>“I should be askin’ ya that,” Tora said, and looked at her. His eyes softened. The rage and fear began to melt, a little. He couldn’t be angry when she looked at him with sweet worry like that. “I… I don’t know what came over me, Bobby. Sorry. Did I scare ya?”</p><p>“I’m fine. Thanks for taking care of that guy.”</p><p>“Anytime.” He swallowed. “Did I ruin tha’ moment? Ya don’t still wanna…”</p><p>Poppy bit her lip and nodded, fiddling with one of her braids.</p><p>“My place?” She asked, her face turning red.</p><p><em>I like making her blush</em>, Tora thought as they got back into his car. <em>I wanna keep doin’ that. For a long time, maybe.</em></p><p>He wasn’t a praying man, but he sent a silent hope up anyways: <em>fuckin’ please let all the lights be green. An’ why the hell did I pick somewhere so far, again?</em></p><p>He kept his eyes on the road, not on Poppy, but he could see her in his mind. The moment they got back to her place… well. Then she’d see just how little of a gentleman he was. You couldn’t manhandle a sweet thing like Poppy, but… well, it wasn’t her first time anymore, either.</p><p>Tora shifted his foot, pressing down a little harder on the gas.</p><p>     </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Princess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora's first date with Poppy was supposed to be a little more romantic than this. But with dirty thoughts circling the Tiger's brain, is it any wonder they end up in bed long before the night is through?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>I love my readers, though... maybe not <em>quite</em> as much as Tora loves his Poppy? ;D</p><p>Thank you all <strong>so much</strong>. Please let me know what you think? </p><p>What's better, the first time... or the second encounter?</p><p>I have at least two more scenes planned in my head (thanks for keeping me up late at night, dirty thoughts). They should be up soon, because these two are just WAY too fun to write about.</p><p>...More may follow.</p>
<hr/><p>Poppy fumbled in her purse for her keys. Tora was standing <em>right</em> behind her; she could feel his warmth. She finally got the right key and moved to put it in the lock, just as she felt his arm wrap around her and rest on her abdomen. She flinched and dropped the keys.</p><p>“Ya gonna get those, Bobby?” He whispered, his breath hot on her ear as he pressed himself up against her.</p><p>Blushing, Poppy bent over at the waist. She moved as quickly as she could, but the movement pushed her rear up against him.</p><p>If Tora had been a real cat, he would’ve purred. As it was, he reached his other arm over her to take the key from her hand and unlock the door himself.</p><p>She took her keys back from him as he locked the deadbolt from inside. No sooner had Poppy lifted the purse-strap over her shoulder and set the bag on the floor, than Tora’s arms were wrapped around her. She gasped as he pushed her back up against the wall, running a hand down her body. Her lips parted and her eyelids fluttered: good. He didn’t want to stop, but he’d have to if she wasn’t enjoying it.</p><p>She was so fuckin’ short. It was hard to kiss her when they were both standing. And the bulge at the front of his jeans didn’t press into her where he wanted it to, either. With a noise between a growl and a moan, Tora hoisted Poppy up and pinned her against the wall, right where he wanted her. Supporting her legs, he pressed himself against her hard. Their lips met.</p><p>He kissed her with a hungry intensity, catching her bottom lip in his teeth as he pulled away. He watched her face as he thrust his hips against her, grinding her against the hard wall.</p><p>“Mmn,” said Poppy, breathing hard already. She pushed her face forward, searching for his lips again.</p><p>Grabbing her tightly, he pulled her off the wall and started towards the bedroom.</p><p>“Tora, wait,” said Poppy, her voice thick with lust. Her hands stayed around his neck. “Shoes?”</p><p>He stopped in the middle of the living room and looked down at her.</p><p>“Ya gotta be kidding me,” he said.</p><p>Her gaze hardened, revealing an iron will Tora had only seen her show once before. She stared him straight in the eyes. Shit, she stared him <em>through</em> the eyes. “I vacuumed today,” she informed him.</p><p>“Fer fuck’s sake,” he said, and kicked his shoes off.</p><p>“Tora?”</p><p>“<em>What</em>?”</p><p>“I can’t take mine off when you’re holding me like this.”</p><p>“Well, ya feet aren’t touchin’ the floor, are they, princess?”</p><p>He strode the rest of the way to her bedroom door. It was open a crack already, so he kicked it the rest of the way with his foot, balancing Poppy against him easily. Inside, he threw her down onto the bed. Grabbing first one ankle, then the other, he tugged off her shoes and made a show of setting them neatly by the edge of the bed. Coming to stand between her legs, he bent over her and put a hand on either side of her body.</p><p>“<em>Better</em>?” Tora asked.</p><p>“Yes, thank you,” Poppy said, her voice a few notes higher than normal.</p><p>Her jeans were next. He unbuttoned them and peeled them off her. Her panties today were modestly cut, but black—not a polka dot in sight. Tora lifted her shirt an inch, eyes fixed on her crotch.</p><p> Taking this as a cue, Poppy sat up and fumbled at the button to Tora’s pants. He did it himself, faster than she could’ve, but he let her unzip him. His hands went to her shoulders as she tugged his pants down, and he gave a low groan as his cock sprang free of them—still covered by boxers, but not nearly so restrained.</p><p>“Poppy,” Tora growled. She looked up at him. His own eyes were like iron now, boring into her. No smile near his lips. “I wanna fuck ya. <em>Hard.</em>”</p><p>The intensity scared her. Was he waiting for permission? He didn’t move, but just kept staring at her, his hands tight on her shoulders.</p><p>“Now?”</p><p>“Nah. <em>Next week</em>. Tha’ fuck kinda question is that?”</p><p>“Can we, um, build up to it? A little?”</p><p>If Tora was being honest, for a moment he felt annoyed at her shy nervousness. Couldn’t she tell how bad he needed her? How it had felt like torture to sit patiently through that whole movie, then the whole car ride? Wait <em>longer</em>, when he’d already refrained from bending her over in the back of the theater and taking her then and there?</p><p>He sighed, caving to her eyes and her tight-pressed mouth. <em>She didn’t say no. An’ is it really so much ta ask ya make her comfortable, first? It’s no less than she deserves</em>. Maybe a part of him was hurt that she didn’t want him with the same ferocity, but he knew that wasn’t fair. As she tentatively reached out and put her hand on his cock, touching him through the thin fabric of the boxers, he groaned out loud and reminded himself that she <em>did</em> want him, in her own way.</p><p>“Of course, sweetheart,” he said. “I wouldn’t want it ta be over too soon, anyways.”</p><p>He peeled off her shirt as she raised her arms above her head; then she tried to help with his. He was too tall, especially standing while she was on the bed. All she could really do was put her hands a few inches above his crotch and let the fabric run up past her fingers as he pulled it up and over his head. For Tora, that touch was plenty.</p><p>He lifted her up against him and climbed onto the bed. Her bra was covered in flowery lace; it felt rough and good against his chest as he pressed her to him. On his knees, he walked her to the pillows at the head of the bed. About to lay her down there, Tora changed his mind and sat down instead, settling Poppy on his lap. She wrapped her legs around his waist and one arm around his neck.</p><p>Her other hand traced the outlines of his tattoos across his pecs, then his shoulders.</p><p>“Feels nice,” he admitted. She leaned against him.</p><p>He didn’t want her any less desperately than he did before, but sitting half-naked on her bed, Poppy on his lap, his cock pressing against her, her hand trailing over his skin… that moment made taking his time worthwhile, if nothing else did. For a second he thought he could stay like that forever. Then the need crashed through him again.</p><p>Tora cupped the back of her head with one giant hand and rubbed his other hand along her back. He kissed her, then kissed again until she rocked her hips against him. They both moaned softly, and Poppy buried her head against him.</p><p>Two layers of fabric was far too much. He let go of the back of her head and reached between them to tug his full, throbbing member out of his boxers. The tip glistened with a drop of moisture. He held himself for a moment, until one of Poppy’s hands dropped down to take his cock from him. It twitched into her hand. Tora threw his head back as she began to rub his length. Her touch soothed him, and he found his hips swaying up against her hand, rising and falling to add to her action.</p><p>“How is that?” Poppy asked.</p><p>“Jus’ don’t stop,” Tora told her. “Ya don’t have any lube, do ya?”</p><p>“Sorry,” Poppy said.</p><p>“I’ll get some for next time.”</p><p>“Next time?” Poppy asked.</p><p>He didn’t take the bait. Tora <em>knew</em> there would be a ‘next time.’</p><p>His hand rested on her panties for a moment, then pushed aside the fabric covering her pussy. Once again, she was already wet for him. Tora moaned and slid his fingers up and down her opening, circling her clit and teasing at her entrance as Poppy’s breath began to quicken.</p><p>“Ya can’t have been that nervous, from the feel of things,” Tora said with a smirk.</p><p>“You can be nervous and…” her breath hitched, interrupted by a moan. “…and still want something.”</p><p>“So ya want me?” Tora asked.</p><p>“Is… that… rhetorical?”</p><p>“I wanna hear you say it,” he growled.</p><p>The hand on her back snapped her bra open, then came around the front to tug it down. Their arms separated for a moment so he could pull it off her entirely. Then they came back together. Tora tugged at one nipple, than the other, squeezing and pinching until they firmed up.</p><p>Poppy’s head flew back. Her breath was labored and fast.</p><p>“Y… yeah, I… want you, Tora,” She gasped.</p><p>He hadn’t thought it was possible to be more turned on. He’d been wrong. Hearing those words from her mouth, hearing her struggle to say it between gasps and moans… he moved the hand on her clit faster, rubbing in a steady rhythm as Poppy moaned and thrust against him. He moved the hand away for a moment just to feel her rocking up against his cock. Tora groaned. It would have been so easy to slip it into her, but instead he returned his hand to her and closed his eyes. He was throbbing.</p><p>It was hard to focus on fingering her while she was jerking him like that. His hand on her breast moved up, pulled her face to him; he kissed her again. Then Tora lay back with a sigh and stretched his legs as far as they could before they hit the headboard.</p><p>She was perched on top of him now. He looked up at her heavy breasts and squeezed one of her thighs, his other hand still circling her clit. Poppy was breathing hard, but the change in position took her by surprise. Her hand on his cock slowed, stopped. That was no good. He felt so full. If she wasn’t touching him, he would have to fuck her. It was one or the other.</p><p>“Can ya grab a condom?” Tora asked.</p><p>“I don’t have…”</p><p>“Wallet. In my pants.” He'd been sure to restock before the date.</p><p>She leaned over the bed, moving away from him, and he found himself grabbing one of her ankles to stop her from going too far.  After a moment she found it. He yanked her panties off and pushed his boxers down and off.</p><p>Poppy straddled him again, sitting just below his cock with it resting against her belly. Poppy tugged at the wrapper without result. Tora took it from her and ripped it open, then handed it back to her.</p><p>“Um, I don’t… I don’t know how to…”</p><p>He took it out and pinched the end of it, rolling it down the first centimeter before guiding her hand to him. He lay back again as she pushed it the rest of the way down.</p><p>“Tora? What now?”</p><p>He fought back a laugh at her bewildered face. Her braids, so neat before, were mussed and falling apart. Her eyes were wide, her hands planted on his hips, uncertain. He fought the urge to flip her over. Watching this was too cute; cute enough it held his attention, even against the urge to ram his cock deep inside her.</p><p>“What d’ya think?” He asked, playing with one of her nipples.</p><p>“I… uh…” she rose up onto her knees and took hold of his encased cock gingerly.</p><p>“Fast learner,” Tora growled. He slid a finger inside Poppy and guided her to him. When she hovered over him with the tip of his rigid cock grazing her lips, he moved his hands to her thighs and waited, fighting against the urge to thrust up into her.</p><p>“Should I…?” Poppy asked, her eyes locked on his. Fuck, was she <em>teasing </em>him?</p><p>“Are ya tryin’ ta kill me?” He moaned, and quivered. His hips rose an inch despite his willing them to stay still. He moaned again as he began to enter her, pushing through the tight entrance to her body.</p><p>Poppy moaned, too, which only encouraged him. She collapsed forward, planting her small hands on his chest and panting.</p><p>Then she gave way to gravity, plunging herself down around him.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>,” said Tora in a strangled, low voice as the opening of her pussy ground against his base.</p><p>“Feel okay?” Poppy choked out through a moan.</p><p>He wanted to feel her riding him, wanted to feel her grind her hips against him, wanted to see how she rocked against him when it was the full length of his cock and not just a finger. Wanted to watch her tits bounce as she cried out for him. But Tora’s need was too great. He'd make her ride him a different day. Now, he grabbed her and flipped them both over, and pumped hard and fast inside her as she let out cry after cry. </p><p>“Ya like this, Poppy?” He growled into her ear, pulling out just to ram her again.</p><p>She didn’t answer with words. She answered with choked moans, with an arched back, with her curvy hips bouncing under him.</p><p>He bent over her, bit and grabbed at her breasts. Shoved one braid out of the way to get to her neck; peppered it with kisses. Bit her ear. Dug his fingers into her side, desperate to hold onto her.</p><p>“<em>Tora</em>,” she moaned.</p><p>There were no words to answer her. Tora was breathless, heaving his body against her, trying to find peace and sate his need deep inside her. He lowered one hand to her opening, where he pumped in and out of her; found her clit, played with it and listened to the noises she made.</p><p>“Ah—ah—ahhh—Tor---Fu---<strong>AH</strong>!” Poppy’s body jerked up in the middle. She cried so loud it’d be a miracle if the whole building didn’t hear her.</p><p>Tora kissed her hard, both their mouths open and against each other. She was soft in his arms now, mewling rather than moaning at each thrust. He couldn’t last much longer.</p><p>“Did ya cum? Poppy?” he hissed through clenched teeth.</p><p>“Yeah,” she said.</p><p>That was all he needed to hear. With one last driving thrust, he abandoned his self-restraint and sacrificed his body to her. Semen burst out of him in waves as Tora gasped, and shuddered, and collapsed on top of her.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>Night had begun to fall as Tora entered her. Shadows lengthened in the room, then blended together into a blanket of darkness as they lay collapsed on the bed.</p><p>“Ya okay, Poppy?” Tora whispered at last. He rose up on his elbows and stroked the side of her face with a tenderness he barely knew he possessed.</p><p>“Better’n okay,” she slurred, her mind not yet returned from the paradise he’d sent her to. “N’you?”</p><p>“Better’n okay, too,” Tora said. He kissed her. It wasn’t enough. He kissed her again, hand running up and down her cheek, then fingers buried into her hair. With a sigh, he tilted his forehead to lean against hers.</p><p>“Pops?”</p><p>“Hn?”</p><p>“…Thank ya.”</p><p>“What for?” She opened her sleepy eyes and searched his face. His expression was soft and earnest. Peaceful. The hardness from before was gone, drained out of him.</p><p>Tora shook his head. He kissed her again without a word, then rose to clean himself off. Coming back to bed, he found his boxers and pants and drew them on, then crouched beside where Poppy lay, still naked, breathlessly beautiful. He reached a hand out and touched her shoulder.</p><p>“Bobby?”</p><p>She rolled over and rose up onto her elbows.</p><p>“I’m starving,” he admitted. “I’m gonna go get us food. What d’ya want?”</p><p>“I’ll come with you,” she offered, pushing herself up onto her knees.</p><p>“Nah. Ya look… peaceful.”</p><p>“You sure?” she asked. He nodded. Poppy thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Whatever you want is fine. The keys are in my bag.”</p><p>Locking the door behind him, Tora hesitated for a moment. Was it really safe, to leave her naked and alone in the dark? Tendrils of fear climbed into his mind, threatening the peace he’d found. He made a fist, digging his nails into the skin. <em>Stop it. Ya won’t be gone long. She’ll be fine. </em></p><p>His thoughts stayed on her safety as he walked to the car. <em>She’s prob’ly not gonna install that lock and the grilles on her own. Maybe I can get her ta let me, if I ask nice. </em>What else? He couldn’t see Poppy agreeing to carry a gun. <em>Pepper spray. Lotsa pepper spray. An’ her own ringtone in my phone, so I know right away it’s her callin’…</em></p><p>His fears mollified, at least for the moment, he looked up a restaurant on his phone. Tora dialed the number as he began to drive. Unsure what she’d want, he ordered a couple different entrees. <em>Anyway, I’m hungry</em>, he justified to himself. <em>An’ she can have leftovers, or… somethin’.</em></p><p>When he returned, he could see from her balcony that the light was on. Taking the stairs two at a time, keys in one hand and bags of steaming food in the other, he unlocked the door and came inside.</p><p>Poppy poked her head out of the kitchen. She was wearing a silk bathrobe; her braids were undone, her hair a loose, tangled crown around her. Her cheeks were still flushed pink from their encounter.</p><p>“Tea?” She asked.</p><p>“Sure,” said Tora, slipping off his shoes. “I got Italian.”</p><p>“Sounds great,” said Poppy, and vanished from view.</p><p>He put the bags on the low table and went to stand with her.</p><p>Why did it feel so much like coming home?</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. World of Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora isn't taking Poppy's calls. But he'll have to face her sooner rather than later, even if it means telling her something she doesn't want to hear.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>WARNING: </strong>I'm not adding a tag because there aren't depictions of violence in this episode--but there IS some aftermath from it. And a lot of feelings. Someone may be crying. I don't think it's too graphic but heads up if that sort of thing bothers you!</p><p> </p><p>Next episode is more fluffy. I promise.</p><p>Thank you all so, <em><strong>so</strong></em> much for reading. As always, comments are dearly, dearly appreciated.</p>
<hr/><p>Tora lay on his couch, staring at the ceiling. His phone began to ring: one of Poppy’s favorite songs. She’d picked it out herself.</p><p>Tora looked at the screen. He hit <em>end call</em>, and shut his eyes.</p><p>She was going to call back. He knew it. He was an hour late to get to her house, and had yet to tell her that he wasn’t coming—or why.</p><p>His phone buzzed, letting him know there was a voicemail. Tora’s hands trembled as he hit <em>play.</em></p><p>“Hey, it’s Poppy. Um, so I’m just…wondering where you are? I guess you got caught up at work or something? Just… let me know, when you get a chance. Alright? Hope everything’s okay.”</p><p>Tora let the phone fall on the floor and winced as he turned onto his side. <em>Caught up at work</em>, alright.</p><p>Nearly three weeks had passed since the night he took her virginity. He’d spent most of those nights at Poppy’s house. He closed his eyes, trying to remember how things had gotten to be so intense between them. How he’d taken to sleeping there even when she had work the next morning, waking with her early to drive her. How she’d given her body to him, trusting him with something more precious than any other goddamned thing in his world.</p><p><em>This is pathetic,</em> Tora told himself. <em>So ya aren’t just an idiot, huh? A coward, too?</em> <em>Here ya go: proof ya never deserved her. Proof ya shoulda gotten outta her life when ya had tha chance.</em></p><p>Poppy’s eyes, looking up at him. Her laughing at some dumb thing he said. Her smiling at him over coffee. Him holding her after a hard day at work, when all she wanted to do was curl up in a blanket and go to sleep.</p><p>Her riding him, and looking down at him with a smile and a moan as he gazed up at her. The fierce feeling—pride?—that had lingered in his chest lately, disbelieving that she’d somehow chosen to share herself with him. Poppy punching him in the face the first time they went out to eat.</p><p> Tora swallowed. <em>Fuck.</em> <em>Okay. I… I gotta do this.</em></p><p>He groped on the floor for his phone without looking for it, wincing again as he strained to reach it. He hit her name and closed his eyes again as it began to ring. She picked up immediately.</p><p>“Tora?”</p><p>            “Hey Bobby,” he said, trying to sound casual. “Tonight’s not gonna happen.”</p><p>            “Oh. Um, okay. What’s up? Stuck at… work?” Her voice was flat. Disappointment? Anger?</p><p>            He opened his mouth to lie to her. He couldn’t do it.</p><p>            “…nah. I’m home,” Tora admitted. “But I, uh. I don’t feel so good.”</p><p>            A long pause on the other side of the line. He pinched the bridge of his nose, waiting for her to say something. Anything.</p><p>            “You’re sick? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”</p><p>            “Sorry, Pops. I fell asleep.”</p><p>            “Well, text me your address. I can come by with soup. What about medicine? What are your symptoms?”</p><p>            “Fuck, Bobby,” Tora groaned. “Don’t… don’t do that. I’m fine. I just… gotta sleep it off.”</p><p>            “At least tell me what’s up. Did you eat something bad?”</p><p>            “No, I didn’t… look, I just wanna be alone tonight.”</p><p>            “…oh,” she said, her voice soft. “So… you don’t want to see me?”</p><p>            “It’s not like that.”</p><p>            “If you needed space, you could have said so. Not just… just… left me hanging like that.” Her voice was thick. It sounded like she was holding back tears. “I was <em>scared</em>. That was really mean, Tora.”</p><p>            “That’s not—” Tora hissed into the phone. “<em>Fuck</em>, Poppy. This isn’t about ya. I didn’t… I don’t want <em>space. </em>I jus’… I can’t see ya right now.”</p><p>““I… I understand. Sorry to… <em>bother</em> you. I, um, I hope you feel better.”</p><p>            <em>Fuck. Graceful. He was a class act, huh?</em></p><p>            “Poppylan…” he growled. “<em>It’s not like</em> <em>that</em>, okay?”</p><p>            “Then why won’t you just say what’s wrong?”</p><p>            “’Cuz you won’t wanna hear it.” Tora punched the couch cushion beside him with a fist.</p><p>            “Try me.”</p><p>            “Yer a real pain in tha ass, ya know that?”</p><p>            “Yeah, well, clearly <em>you’re </em>one to talk.” Her words were laced with a venom totally uncharacteristic to her.</p><p>            “You’re mad,” he said, after a pause.</p><p>            “No,” Poppy snapped. “I’m worried. Are you in trouble? Or just sick of me? Is it <em>that hard</em> to tell me what’s wrong? Is it <em>so crazy</em> of me to expect some more notice than cancelling an <em>hour</em> after you said you’d be here?”</p><p>            <em>Fuck. </em>If anybody else talked to him that way, they would’ve been in for some pain. Coming from Poppy, it was Tora who felt hurt instead; he crumpled at her tone.</p><p>“…yeah. Okay.” Tora rubbed his eyes. “Ya got a point. Look, I’ll come over.”</p><p>            “You do what you want,” said Poppy, and hung up the phone.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>            When he arrived, he took the stairs one at a time, and paused for breath on the landings. Finally he got to her door and knocked.</p><p>            She took long enough opening it. He was leaning on the doorway.</p><p>            Poppy’s eyes were puffy and red. <em>Shit. Ya made her cry, ya asshole</em>. <em>Smooth.</em></p><p>            “Oh my god,” said Poppy, looking at him.</p><p>            “That bad?” he asked. He felt almost faint from pain and blood loss. He was sure it showed on his face.</p><p>            “You really are sick? It wasn’t just an excuse?” She took his hand and pulled him inside. He kicked off his shoes and took her other hand, too; stood over her and looked down at her.</p><p>            “Sorry, Bobby. I did ya wrong. Don’t stay mad?”</p><p>            “You still have to explain yourself,” she said, and placed her hand against his chest.</p><p>            He winced and grimaced.</p><p>            “Tora? What…?”</p><p>            He tried to back away from her, but his back was to the door. There wasn’t anywhere to go. Poppy lifted his shirt, revealing the large bandage around his chest.</p><p>            “I’m fine, Bobby. The doc cleaned me up real nice.” He pushed her hand away.</p><p>            “What happened?” Her voice trembled.</p><p>            “I’m not kidding, Pops. Ya don’t wanna know. But I didn’t want ya thinking it had anything to do with ya, so… here I am.”</p><p>            A tear rolled out of one of Poppy’s eyes, then the other. <em>Shit.</em></p><p>            “It’s not deep.” Tora insisted. “I’m not gonna die on ya or anything. I just gotta rest a few days, is all.”</p><p>            She squeezed his hand. Trembled.</p><p>            “Really. Shit. I’m fine! Ya should see tha <em>other </em>guy.” He regretted that comment as soon as it left his mouth. He could <em>see</em> Poppy tense up.</p><p>            “Why the <em>fuck</em> wouldn’t you just tell me over the phone?” Poppy asked softly, glaring up at him. Had he ever heard her use that word before? “You climbed all those stairs? I… Tora, I would’ve come to you…”</p><p>            “I shoulda told ya, I know. Somehow couldn’t find the words.” He shrugged, as if that explained it. “Anyway, I had to come after I heard how mad ya were at me. I didn’t think ya’d take it so <em>personal</em>.”</p><p>            Poppy scrubbed at her eyes. She looked miserable. “I…can be a little clingy. It’s one of my faults.”</p><p>            “Nah. It's my fault. Ya had a right to be pissed at me.”</p><p>"I wouldn't have been, if I knew."</p><p>            He let her prop him up on pillows on the bed but drew the line at spoon feeding him: “Jesus Christ, Pops. I’m not an invalid.” Still, Tora had to admit it was kind of <em>nice</em>, having someone worry over him like that. The last time he got stabbed, he’d just crawled away to lick his wounds himself. Having a beautiful woman sit by him and bring him tea and worry over him was a definite improvement.</p><p>            She worked the next day. He slept, mostly, and scrolled on his phone.</p><p>            He heard her come home and got out of the bed to meet her. The wound was still bad, but the pain was more manageable than it had been the day before.</p><p>            “How ya doin’, Pops?”</p><p>            She stood in the doorway, her mouth firm but her eyes wavering.</p><p>            “Tora. We have to talk.”</p><p>            “Should I be scared, Bobby?” He grinned at her.</p><p>            Stepping out of her heels, Poppy took a seat at the low table and patted the other cushion. With a sigh and a wince, Tora sat opposite her. She was dressed in professional clothes: a pencil skirt, a floral blouse. Pearl earrings. Her hair pulled back. He loved when she dressed all hot and fancy at the same time. He tried to focus on that to distract himself from the sadness in her eyes. It didn’t work.</p><p>            “Are ya gonna lecture me, Bobby? Cuz I gotta tell ya, I don’t take well ta lectures.”</p><p>            She took a deep breath and spread her palms flat on the table before looking up at him.</p><p>            “I don’t know if I can handle this,” she said at last.</p><p>            “Handle what?”</p><p>            “Being… being with you. Knowing… Tora, what if it <em>had</em> been worse? What if you hadn’t been… been <em>able</em> to call me back? You know?” Her fingers were trembling.</p><p>            “Bobby…” Tora said with a sigh, reaching across the table.</p><p>            “No. Listen.” She drew her hands back and folded them in her lap. “I try not to ask you about work. There are things I just <em>don’t </em>want to know.” She swallowed. “But you showing up hurt… Tora… can’t you leave your job? Please?”</p><p>            “It’s not that simple, Pops,” he said.</p><p>            “Would you at least <em>think</em> about it? Can you at least tell me that?”</p><p>            Tora stared in a hard line straight past her, and then looked down. He frowned. Then met Poppy’s gaze.</p><p>            “It doesn’t work like that, Bobby. If ya alive, ya in. If ya out, ya dead.”</p><p>            “Can’t you… move? Or something?”</p><p>            He laughed, bitterly. “Move where? It’s not a big country. If ya hadn’t noticed, I <em>stand out </em>in a crowd.”</p><p>            “Overseas, then?”</p><p>            “I don’t know how ta tell ya this, sweetheart, I got a criminal record that would shock tha' devil. Jus’ where do ya expect I should go? Ya think any embassies are dying to hand me a visa?”</p><p>            “Then… can you at least tell me why you’d… why… what possessed you? To join something like this? I can’t pretend to understand any of it. But watching you put yourself in harms’ way is another level entirely.”</p><p>            He’d spent so much time agonizing over her safety. It never once occurred to Tora that she was worried about him, too. Nobody usually worried whether Tora would be okay. In a fight against him, concern always went the other way.</p><p>            “I didn’t,” he growled. “Choose it. It just <em>is,</em> alright?”</p><p>            “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>            “I’ve been in since I was even shorter than ya,” Tora said. “Pops, there’s nowhere this conversation is gonna go. It’s my life. I’m sorry ya don’t like it. I don’t like it either. But it is what it is. So ya can accept it, or ya can ask me to leave.”</p><p>            “Those can’t be my only options,” she begged.</p><p>            “Well, they are.”</p><p>            “I can’t do either of those things,” she said.</p><p>            “So where’s that leave us?”</p><p>            “I don’t know.” She started to cry.</p><p>            <em>Fuck. FUCK. </em></p><p>            “Whatever ya doin', Poppylan, don't.” His voice was desperate. “I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I… Shit. I…” He swiped furiously at a tear. Since when the hell did he cry? Where the fuck did <em>that</em> come from? “I don’t wanna lose ya. So please…”</p><p>            “I… don’t want… that either…” Poppy was wiping away tears of her own. She stood; he watched her without following. She returned with a box of tissues. Poppy plucked out one for herself, then shoved the box at him. Tora didn’t move to take one. He didn’t need it.</p><p>            “Then tell me we can put this behind us,” Tora begged, softly.</p><p>            Poppy nodded. She didn’t stop crying.</p><p>            “I don’t want you to die,” she wailed.</p><p>            “Jesus, Bobby. I’m not dead,” Tora snapped. “It’s a scratch. Fuck! Ya probably risk ya life more every time ya cross the street. So jus’… jus’…” His wound screamed as he lunged across the table and grabbed at her face with both hands. “Jus’… get it together. Okay?”</p><p>            There was nothing to do after that but to come around the table and hold her, pressing her head against the side of him that wasn’t bandaged. Poppy’s tears stopped after a minute, but she stayed clinging to him and gasping for air.</p><p>            “Fuck, I didn’t know ya cared so much,” Tora said. His heart ached, but he found that he was pleased, too. Pleased she thought he was worth crying over. Sharp relief that she didn’t want him to leave. A future without her meant a return to the bleak world he’d inhabited just a month ago. He couldn’t do that. Not now that he knew just how precious and sweet life could be.</p><p>            “Tora?”</p><p>            “Hm?”</p><p>            She grabbed onto his shirt and looked up at him. “If you <em>ever</em> get hurt again and don’t tell me about it…”</p><p>            “World of pain?” he asked.</p><p>            “World of pain,” Poppy promised, and leaned back against him.</p><p>            Long minutes passed. He stroked her hair; told her she was sweet and beautiful.</p><p>            “I don’t deserve ya. Ya know that, right?” he whispered into her ear. Tora kissed the top of her head. Poppy lifted her face from where she’d had it buried against him and kissed him. He kissed her back.</p><p>            She <em>kept</em> kissing him. She straightened, and kissed his neck—his earlobe—ran a hand down his unharmed side, then back up. Poppy grabbed his chin and turned his face towards her. She kissed him full on the lips again.</p><p>            “Bobby, ya know I can’t… fuck ya like this, right?” He said, inhaling as she exhaled, shivering at her breath as she moved her lips back to his neck.</p><p>            “You don’t have to,” she whispered.</p><p>            “It’s not a matter of wanting,” he said. Already his cock was stirring in his pants. Stiffening.</p><p>            “I know,” she said. “Come to bed?”</p><p>            “Fuck, Pops. Did ya hear anything I just said? I can’t do that to ya. Not for another few days at least. Doctor’s orders. Believe me, I asked.”</p><p>            “And I’m not <em>asking</em> you to,” said Poppy. She stood and offered him her hand. That was almost insulting, but after he struggled to use his abs to get up he at last took it with a grimace.</p><p>            “If ya keep kissin’ on me, I’m gonna hurt myself,” he told her, dead serious. “Ya know I can’t resist ya once we get going.”</p><p>            Poppy hesitated, her face going red. “I, um, had something else in mind. Actually.”</p><p>            That sounded enticing. “Shit. What were ya…”</p><p>            “Well, you know how… um. How much I like it when you…” she trailed off. He waited, watching her with interest. She was blushing and wouldn’t meet his eyes. That was <em>always</em> a good sign with Poppy, as far as Tora was concerned. “When you…” she continued.</p><p>            “When I?” he whispered, drawing her tight against his good side.</p><p>            “Use… your mouth?” She finished.</p><p>            “Oh. Ya want me ta…?”</p><p>            “No! No. I… I thought maybe I could try. On you?”</p><p>            “Ya wanna blow me?” He smirked. He felt heat between his legs. He hadn’t gotten around to asking her to do that, not yet, but he’d thought about it more than a handful of times. Pictured it.</p><p>            “It sounds crass, when you say it like that!” Poppy protested.</p><p>            “Bobby, sweetheart. I <em>like</em> crass.” His voice was rough.</p><p>            “Do you think it’d be okay? With your wound?”</p><p>            “It’s gonna have to be, Pops, cuz’ I’m not turnin’ that offer down.”</p><p>            She led him to the bedroom. Poppy wasn’t wasting time; she unbuttoned his pants, pulling down both them and the boxers beneath, and sat him down on the bed with his legs over the edge.</p><p>            “Speedy little thing, aren’t ya?” Tora mumbled.</p><p>            “The thing is…” Poppy swallowed, and knelt, and looked up at him. “Tora, I don’t… I don’t really know what I’m doing.”</p><p>            “Don’t look at me, Pops. <em>I </em>never sucked anyone’s cock eitha.”</p><p>            She blushed.</p><p>            “Ya could start by taking off ya shirt?” he suggested. “I wouldn’t mind a bit of a show.”</p><p>            “I’m not going to be able to do this with you staring at me like that,” Poppy protested. Her face was bright red. “I’m <em>nervous</em>.”</p><p>            “Ya been nervous before. Turned out fine, didn’t it?”</p><p>            Poppy thought about that for a moment, then unbuttoned her blouse and left it on the floor.</p><p>            “Tha bra, too?” Tora whispered.</p><p>            “Tora…”</p><p>            “I’m hurt, Bobby,” he said, clutching his skin right below the bandage. “<em>Ow. Ooh. </em>If only somethin’ could take my mind offa this goddamned pain…”</p><p>            “Low, Tora,” said Poppy. “<em>Real </em>low blow.” But she took off the bra anyways. She went to untie her hair, but was stopped by a “nnn—” from Tora.</p><p>            “Hair up?” he asked.</p><p>            It was hard to stay nervous with him joking. It was hard to be embarrassed of him looking at her when he was staring with such obvious pleasure and hunger. Suddenly she wasn’t so worried anymore about making a fool of herself. And like Tora said, she’d been nervous with him plenty of times. It had always ended in pleasure, for her. He’d shown her so <em>much</em>, in such a short amount of time.</p><p>            She wanted to return the favor.</p><p>            Slowly, uncertain, Poppy kissed him on the knee.</p><p>            “A little far from tha’ target, Pops.”</p><p>            “Shh,” she said, and kissed him an inch closer, on the inside of his leg.</p><p>            “Better,” he said.</p><p>            An inch closer. An inch closer. She put her hand next to his cock but didn’t touch it. It was so full. A drop fell from the end of it. His cock moved as blood pulsed into it, bobbing up and down. Tora groaned in anticipation as Poppy moved an inch further in. Then her cheek was brushing up against it, but she reserved her kisses for the inside of his thigh. When she reached the base, she turned to the other leg and started from the knee again, slowly working her way in.</p><p>            “<em>Fuck, Poppy</em>,” Tora moaned, his eyes narrowed. “Ya sure ya new ta this? Cuz’ yer teasing me like ya a professional.”</p><p>            He looked down at the top of her head. He reached out to touch her, but it was too far; curling up to reach her meant pain. Instead he hung his head back and closed his eyes. The throbbing between his legs grew, and kept growing, as she circled it with kisses, with trailing finger tips. At last one small hand wrapped around his shaft; then the other. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. She was looking up at him, her cheeks flush.</p><p>            “Don’t laugh if I do it wrong,” Poppy said.</p><p>            “Sweetheart, I don’t think there’s such a thing. Jus’… don’t use ya teeth.”</p><p>            “I wasn’t planning on it,” she said, giggling. “I figured <em>that</em> much, at least."</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. For The Long Haul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Poppy finishes what she started; Tora gets another lesson in relationship rules</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning for kinda rough blow job</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Energy level: uploading a naughty scene at 4 in the morning</p><p>Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think!</p>
<hr/><p>            Poppy hesitated a moment longer. Her hands gripped the base of Tora’s shaft, her lips hovering over the tip. She parted her mouth, then drew back and licked her lips. She leaned back in. <em>Yes. Finally</em>, thought Tora.</p><p>Poppy gave him one satisfying stroke with her hands, warm and holding him tightly. <em>Fuck. C’mon.</em> He watched her through narrowed eyes, his breath steady and audible.</p><p>            “Ya gonna make me wait all night, Poppy?” Tora growled at last. She was never coy in his fantasies, but the reality was better. The longer she drew it out, the closer he felt to losing control. Already his mind was giving way to deep, animalistic desires. His cock throbbed in her hands. If not for his condition, he would’ve gotten up, pinned her down, and put it in her mouth himself.</p><p>            Poppy looked up at him and swallowed.</p><p>            At last, she kissed his tip as he strained towards her. Thank fuckin’ god, that soft little kiss seemed to break Poppy’s hesitation. She moved her hands off him and moved her face in, running her tongue down one side of him. She shifted herself and ran that little pink tongue up the other side.</p><p>            She started kissing it then. First with chaste little pecks. Then sloppily, her lips and tongue running over the sides of his cock. Tora moaned. He wanted to see her big eyes staring up at him. Wanted her to take him in her mouth, as much of him as would fit.</p><p>            Her lips slipped around it at last.</p><p>            <em>Relief…</em>he shuddered and exhaled, his muscles relaxing. Tora didn’t know when he’d started holding his breath. He only knew he needed her to take more of him into that little mouth of hers.</p><p>            Poppy’s lips slid down him slowly, then back up. He was barely in her at all. That was to be expected, but fuck, couldn’t she fit just a <em>little</em> more of his length into her mouth?</p><p> Tora struggled to push himself up onto his elbows, ignoring the stab of pain in his chest and grabbing the base of his cock with one hand. He gripped it hard and stared down at Poppy. Her big eyes fluttered open and peered up at him.</p><p>            <em>Fuck</em>. Her pink lips were still wrapped around him, forming an O; her round cheeks elongated and hollowed out. Tendrils of hair escaped her bun to frame her face. Her eyes were so beautiful, big and innocent… <em>maybe not innocent</em>, Tora considered, as he let go of his shaft and placed his hand on the back of her head instead.</p><p>Slowly he pushed her down onto him. <em>Nah. Not so innocent, not anymore. Not since she met me.</em> <em>An’ sure as hell not after this. I’m a bad influence.</em> For a moment he felt guilty, and wondered if it was wrong to keep pressing on the back of her head, grinding her mouth down against him. He loosened his grip and let her pull her head back up, but she did so slowly, like she was savoring him. Tora moaned, and wished he could make her moan right now, too.</p><p>            Poppy braced her hands on his legs as Tora lifted his hips up and pushed her head back down. She surrendered to Tora’s hand, letting him guide her. He groaned as he slid himself to the back of her mouth, testing his limits. It felt good to be in her, even just part way. His hips flexed, grinding him further, deeper than he’d meant to go. He grunted as she squirmed. <em>Careful. Ya don’t wanna hurt her…</em> he reminded himself.</p><p>Maybe it was a good thing he couldn’t make her moan. He probably couldn’t control himself at all, if she had been.</p><p>“Jus’ pinch me if ya need ta stop,” Tora growled.</p><p>            Poppy pulled her head back. He let her, but didn’t move his hand from the back of her head. She kept her lips tight until she reached the head of his cock, where she finally freed herself. She rested her closed lips against his tip, breathing heavily through her nose. Tora waited, jaw clenched. After a moment, Poppy parted her lips and slid them around him again. He pushed her down with his hand, speeding things up.</p><p>When he found the back of her mouth he relaxed his hand, letting her pull her mouth up. Then he tightened his hand and pushed her back down around him. Up. Down. Now he had the shape of her, knew just how much of him could fit without making her gag. Faster. He tightened his grip on her hair.</p><p>He sunk his hips away from her, into the bed, then pushed up into her mouth.</p><p>Tora growled with pleasure. He stopped pushing her with his hand and instead grabbed her by her bun, holding her in place and fucking her mouth with as slow and controlled motions as he could manage. His cock plunged in and out of her mouth. Different than her pussy. Not as good, maybe, but… <em>fuck</em>. Hot in a different way.</p><p>Poppy’s hands moved in, from his legs to his center. They came to rest on either side of his shaft. She pushed herself back; he begrudgingly loosened his grip on her hair and let her pull away from him.</p><p>Mouth hovering an inch away from his glistening tip, Poppy gasped for air and swallowed a few times.</p><p>She looked up at him. He couldn’t read her expression.</p><p>“A…are you supposed to move like that?” Poppy asked, panting.</p><p>“Too much for ya to handle?” Tora asked, leaning back on both elbows.</p><p>“N…no,” said Poppy, still panting.</p><p><em>She’s got grit, that’s fa sure. Little thing could barely handle herself. </em>His lips twitched up in a smile.</p><p>“Don’t tell me ya gonna leave me like this,” Tora said, his voice firm enough to sound more like a command than a question.</p><p>“I meant, with your… your injury,” Poppy insisted, still gasping to catch her breath. Her lips were wet. “If you aren’t supposed to have sex, don’t… don’t you need to keep <em>still</em>?”</p><p>“Bobby, sweetheart,” Tora growled. “And I mean this, now: do I look like a man who gives a fuck about tha’, right now?”</p><p>“If you aren’t going to behave…” she said, her voice quivering. “Tora, I… I’m <em>not</em> going to do this if you’re just going to end up <em>hurting</em> yourself.”</p><p>“So that’s it, then?” He growled. His cock throbbed, ached. Just as he’d been getting into a rhythm in her, she was… what? Gonna walk away and leave him to jerk himself off?</p><p>“I don’t know.” Poppy leaned back and fixed him with an iron glare. “Can you stay <em>still</em>?”</p><p>Tora fumed. “Yea, Pops. I won’t move an inch,” he finally growled, and fell back dramatically onto the bed, sending his arms out to either side.</p><p>She took her time starting again. And she didn’t go as deep as he wanted, or as fast.</p><p>Not at first, anyways. Growing comfortable, Poppy started to settle into a rhythm. Then her hands came to join her mouth, stroking up and down in unison with her bobbing head. <em>Fuck</em>, that was good. Tora didn’t even mean to move, but his hips twitched up again, thrusting him a little deeper.</p><p>Poppy let go of him, drawing her lips back away from him.</p><p>“Tora, what did I say?” she lectured, panting against the light ache of her jaw, the sensual discomfort of taking a man so long and wide into her mouth as deep as he’d fit.</p><p>“Sorry,” he said, his voice strained. “I’m tryn’ ta stay still, Pops. Promise. Don’t stop now.”</p><p>He moaned loudly when she took him into her mouth again. That encouraged her, and she worked up and down his length even faster.</p><p>“Ughn… tha’s it, Pops. Keep it going… ughn….” Tora’s jaw flexed. His hands turned into fists at his side as he fought to stay flat on his back.</p><p>His hips strained up against his will. Poppy pushed him back down with her hands, applying pressure against his urge to buck wildly into her mouth. When he was settled again, she slid her hands back up onto him and pumped away. Every now and then she pulled her mouth off of him, gasped for breath. Went back to work.   </p><p>“Ughn. Ff… fuck. <em>Fuck. Poppy. </em>God… fuckin’… ughn… <em>Poppy…</em>” She moved her mouth as fast as she could against his cries, and had to let go of his shaft with one hand to push him back down onto the bed and hold him there. He could have thrown her off without a second thought, but he didn’t; the weight she applied was only enough to pin him down because he was trying so hard to stay still himself.</p><p>“I’m close,” Tora said a moment later. “Where d’ya want me ta…”</p><p>Poppy didn’t respond. She kept working diligently, her little head bobbing up and down on his shaft. He pulsed. He could feel it coming like a wave, ready to break over him. Tora propped himself back up; if Poppy noticed she didn’t stop to push him down again, but just kept going. She was focused.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>…I’m gonna cum, Poppy.”</p><p>He released into her mouth a moment later, his seed pulsing into her as Tora moaned and lay back flat again. He panted, staring up at the ceiling, as she slowly drew her lips off him. His side ached. Maybe Poppy was right, and he shouldn’ta pushed himself like that. He still didn’t give a fuck. Not a regret. And not a bad night, even with all the tears—not if this was how it was gonna end. Maybe getting stabbed was worth it. Was he gonna get a blow job <em>every </em>time he showed up injured? His life just kept getting better.</p><p>Poppy crawled up beside him on the bed and hovered over him on all fours, one hand on either side of his face. Her breasts hung over him and he reached up to caress them. Then:</p><p>“Fuck, Poppy. Did ya swallow that?” She hadn’t gotten up or left the room.</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>His mouth twitched. “Ya sexy thing.” Tora pulled her down against him. He reached a hand to hitch up her skirt.</p><p>“Not tonight,” Poppy said, pushing him away.</p><p>“Ya don’t want me ta?” Tora rolled half over, running a hand up her thigh. Goddamn it. She was wet. Had that turned her on? Even spent, content, his cock slowly returning to its normal size, he found himself wanting her.</p><p>Poppy gently took his hand and pushed it away again.</p><p>“I think you’ve had enough excitement for one night, Tiger. When you feel better, how about you make it up to me.”</p><p>“I’ll fuck ya till ya can’t walk,” he agreed. “Soon’s I’m better.” He yawned.</p><p>She sat back onto her hips. “Did I do okay?”</p><p>“Fuck, Bobby. Ya got a talent.” He paused. “Of course, if ya ever wanna practice some more, ya welcome to try again.”</p><p>“…Tora?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“I… I’m sorry. About earlier. And I want you to know…” She blushed. Tora took her hand in his and rubbed it with his thumb, waiting for her to finish. Poppy took a breath. “Even if you can’t change anything, about your… lifestyle. I… I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you make me.”</p><p>“Then ya stuck with me for the long haul, Bobby,” Tora murmured, and pulled her back down to his side.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>            The next day was Saturday; no work for Poppy. They slept in, Tora spread out over most of the bed while Poppy curled up against his good side, her head pillowed on one giant, tattooed arm.</p><p>            Tora stirred as she got up in the morning, but kept dozing. The bed was comfortable, the memories of the night before more so. At last Poppy poked his side with a finger, and he opened his eyes.</p><p>            “I made pancakes,” she said. “You getting up?”</p><p>            “I’m up,” said Tora. He pulled her back down onto the bed and tugged her against him. She snuggled up for a moment before pulling away again.</p><p>            “They’re gonna get cold,” Poppy said.</p><p>            “I’m up,” said Tora again, and followed her sleepily out of the room, wearing nothing but his boxers.</p><p>---</p><p>            His phone rang after they ate.</p><p>            “Sit,” Poppy told Tora as he started to rise, and went to get it from the charger in her room. It was still ringing when he took it from her. Tora sighed.</p><p>            “Quince?”</p><p>            “Tora, honey, thank god. Where the hell are you?”</p><p>            “What are ya talkin’ about?”</p><p>            “The doc just told me he went to your place last night, <em>and</em> this morning, and you weren’t there. You sure know how to give a boy a heart attack, don’t you?”</p><p>            Tora grumbled. “I’ve been gettin’ a lot of that lately. What, he couldn’ tell me he was gonna stop by?”</p><p>            “I told him you promised to stay put!”</p><p>            “I <em>have</em> been stayin’ put. At…” he glanced at Poppy. She was reclined on the floor, her nose already in a book. “…at my girlfriend’s.”</p><p>            Poppy put the book down on her chest and raised her eyebrows at the muscular half-naked man sitting a few feet from her. Tora shrugged and looked away.</p><p>            “Your <em>what?</em>” Quicey asked. “You… you mean, when you said your date the other week was <em>‘good</em>’, you… you just <em>neglected</em> to tell me…”</p><p>            “Calm down,” Tora sighed.</p><p>            “I… You…” Quincey sputtered. “Just… look, you were supposed to get a check-up, honey. Come over here so I can make sure you do.”</p><p>            “I’m not goin’ over, Quince. Ya just gonna interrogate me.”</p><p>            “I wasn’t asking, Tora,” said Quincey. For a moment his voice sounded as granite hard as his dad’s. Quincey might not have resembled his father in many ways, but they shared some traits, after all. “Be here within the hour. No excuses.” Quincey hung up on him.</p><p>            Tora tossed his phone onto the ground.</p><p>            “… ‘Girlfriend,’ huh?” Poppy asked, closing her book and sitting up. Her gaze was level, one eyebrow still raised.</p><p>            “Aren’t ya?”</p><p>            “I don’t think so. You never asked me to be.”</p><p>            “Didn’t know I had to ask,” Tora said.</p><p>            “You shouldn’t just assume something like that, Tora,” said Poppy.</p><p>            “Sorry, but how many nights have ya slept alone tha past few weeks?” He growled. “What are ya sayin’, Poppy? Ya <em>don’t</em> wanna be my girl anymore?”</p><p>            “I didn’t say <em>that</em>,” Poppy said.</p><p>            He scowled at her.</p><p>            “Hey, don’t look so mad,” said Poppy, and giggled. She touched a hand to her lips, and smiled at him. “I’m just teasing. So I’m your <em>girlfriend</em> now, huh?”</p><p>            “No. Ya not.” Tora snatched his phone off the ground and got up slowly, a hand to his injury.</p><p>            “But…” Poppy stood up, too, hugging the book to her.</p><p>            “Ya said I had ta ask. I didn’ know that was how it worked. An’ I haven’t asked.” He stalked into the bedroom in search of his clothes.</p><p>            Poppy swallowed and followed him, trailing a few steps behind. “Well, I… I just meant it was the sort of thing people usually talk about. I mean, it’s not like I’d say no, so… it’s fine with me if we just…” seeing Tora about to bend down to her laundry bin, where a clean pair of his pants lay crumpled, Poppy leaned in first and helped him.</p><p>            “Where are you going, anyways? You won’t be in danger, right?”</p><p>            “Don’t baby me, Poppy,” He snapped. Then he relented with a sigh, and gruffly said “I’ll be safe. Jus’ getting a checkup.”</p><p>            “Tora? Are you actually <em>mad</em>?”</p><p>            “Nah.” He zipped up the black jeans as Poppy handed him a shirt.</p><p>            “So… do you want…”</p><p>            “Shut ya mouth.” Tora said. He tugged the shirt down and then put a hand under her chin. “Ya can’t have it both ways, Bobby. If I gotta ask ya for it ta count, then I gotta ask ya. Ya want me ta do this right, or not?”</p><p>            Poppy swallowed, her eyes big, his hand still on her chin. Tora leaned in and kissed her softly.</p><p>            “You <em>are</em> going to ask, though? Right?” she whispered as his lips drew away from her.</p><p>            “Ya gonna have ta wait and see.” Her lips quivered. “Ah, fuck. Don’t look at me like that, Bobby. I gotta go. I’ll call ya when I’m done.” He kissed her once more, slowly, and ruffled her hair.</p><p>           </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Have it your way, Honey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora confronts Julri, and tries to show Poppy how he feels.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>&lt;3 </p><p>Too much fluff?</p><p>More smut next chapter &gt;_&gt;...</p>
<hr/><p>            Sunday. Tora smoked on the balcony, cracked his knuckles, and tapped his foot on the ground.</p><p>Yesterday, the doc had said he was healing well, but not there yet. Two days until he could start a light workout, five until he was back at work. Still, every day that he felt better made staying sedentary that much harder. For someone used to intense daily exercise, bed rest was a pain in the ass.</p><p>            Yesterday had been a good change of pace, at least. Not like he wanted to get away from Poppy, but he was beginning to feel like a caged animal trapped in that apartment. It was good to get a glimpse of the outside world.</p><p>After the checkup, the doc gave him ointment and a pack of bandages and told him how to change them. Quincey wouldn’t let Tora alone until Tora told him the basics of the last few weeks, leaving out almost all the details.</p><p>Still, even from the bare-bones sentences, Quincey could tell a lot just by how Tora said them. Tora grunted in surprise as his friend hugged him, wincing at the pain that flared up.</p><p>            “Fuck off, Quince. No huggin’.”</p><p>            “I like this for you,” Quincey said. “And I expect <em>much</em> better feedback from you, now that you’re in love.”</p><p>            “Shit. I’m not in <em>love</em>,” Tora had growled, scratching his neck.<em> Me? Love? Nah. Some things aren’t meant ta go togetha’. Love ain’t meant fer guys like me.</em></p><p>But if it wasn’t love… just what was he supposed to call the stirring feeling in his chest?</p><p>            “Have it your way, honey,” said Quincey, and flapped a hand at him. “Well, now I know why you’ve been blowing me off the last few weeks, at least. You’ll be making it up to me today. I have <em>so</em> many chapters to catch you up on.”</p><p>            “Not gonna happen,” said Tora, still growling and trying to stop his heart from beating so fast.</p><p>            But somehow he’d ended up on the couch anyways, sending Poppy a quick text before Quincey started reading.</p><p>
  <em>            Gonna be a late one. Quince wont let me leave. Im fine tho.</em>
</p><p>            He got home in time to share a late dinner with her. Every time he opened his mouth to speak she perked up.</p><p>            On the balcony, remembering it, Tora snorted. Had she really thought he was gonna ask her out <em>then</em>? Fuck. Like he wasn’t going to drag this out and make her squirm a little. He smiled at the thought, and fished another cigarette out of the pack.</p><p>            Two days until he was allowed to fuck her. It’d be nice if he could hold off on asking until then. How else could he make it special for her, so she’d understood what she meant to him? And could he make her wait that long? Could he wait that long himself? Just thinking about it for a moment had him stiffening slightly in his pants.</p><p>            “Christ,” Tora said out loud to himself. “The things that woman does ta me.”</p><p>            If he sat around all day, he was going to lose it. He couldn’t do much, but he could walk. Tora snuffed out the cigarette and slid the balcony door open.</p><p>            “Hey, Bobby?”</p><p>            She was at her laptop, her back to him. She looked over her shoulder.</p><p>            “Wanna go on a hike?”</p><p>---</p><p>            The only trails Poppy knew were around Moonbright. Tora didn’t have anywhere else to suggest, since it wasn’t like he made it to the woods often. He drove, windows down.</p><p>            Tora would have been happy just to move his legs and get some fresh air, but hiking with Poppy was something else. She kept grabbing his arm to point things out to him, like: “look! A deer!” or “isn’t that birdsong pretty?”</p><p>            Tora smiled despite himself. At an overlook he kissed her softly and pulled away to gaze into her eyes. She looked up with anticipation.</p><p>            “Poppy?” He said, making his voice as shy and soft as he could.</p><p>            “Yeah?” Her voice was light and breathless.</p><p>            <em>Fuck, this is cruel</em>. But he loved the look on her face.</p><p>            He leaned in close and put his arms around her.</p><p>“Ya ass looks good in those leggings,” he whispered, and grabbed it.</p><p>“Tora!” Poppy protested.</p><p>He chuckled and kissed her again.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s keep goin’.”</p><p>She blushed, and bit her lip.</p><p>“Disappointed?” Tora asked.</p><p>“Kinda,” Poppy admitted, her shoulders hunched over. She looked vulnerable.</p><p>“Fuck. I just wanted ta see ya squirm.”</p><p>She looked away.</p><p>“It’s… comin’, Pops. Promise. I… I got a plan. Can ya give me a few days?” The pressure was on now. If he was gonna jerk her around like that, he had to make it worth her while.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to make such a big deal yesterday,” Poppy said. “I wish I hadn’t. I should’ve just let you…”</p><p>“Nah,” Tora said, grabbing and squeezing her hand. “I told ya. I’m gonna do it right. So les’ jus enjoy the hike, okay?”</p><p>She nodded, thought over his words, brightened a little.</p><p>“You have a <em>plan</em>? Really?” Poppy asked.</p><p>“Uh-huh. Don’t let it go ta ya head.” Fuck. It would have to be perfect.</p><p>On the descent, her foot caught on a root. She sprawled forward, arms out, hair streaming behind her.</p><p>Tora snapped forward, lunging low and fast to catch her in his arms. He pulled her back upright, and into him, his heart racing as adrenaline flooded through him. He ignored the lance of pain from his wound at the violent, sudden lunge.</p><p>“Ya okay there, Bobby?” He asked, squeezing her back against him as his arms shook.</p><p>“I think so,” she said, gulping. He’d been so <em>fast</em>.</p><p>“Did ya twist ya ankle? Let me look at ya.” Tora scooped her up off the ground, one arm under her knees, another around her back. There was a fallen tree just off the path. He set her down there, and crouched in front of her. Tora lifted the foot she’d tripped over. He ran his hand along her ankle, twisting her foot gently.</p><p>“Do ya feel any pain?”</p><p>“No. I don’t think I sprained it. I’m okay.”</p><p>“Ya sure? I can carry ya.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Poppy said. “Thanks, Tora. I think you caught me before I even registered I was falling.” She reached out and tucked his hair behind his ear, her fingers grazing his skin. For a long moment, their eyes were locked on each other. Then Poppy looked over Tora’s shoulder and froze. She gulped, her back straightening.</p><p>Tora looked over his shoulder, too. There was another couple hiking down the hill. They didn’t look like trouble. He turned back to her. She was still staring.</p><p>“Pops? Ya look like ya seen a ghost.”</p><p>“Uh, Tora?” She whispered. “Please don’t do anything stupid, okay? But, um, that’s… that’s Julri.”</p><p>His eyes widened. He stayed crouching in front of her, one hand gently wrapped around her ankle.</p><p>“Ya ex?”</p><p>Poppy nodded. Tora looked over his shoulder again, then back at Poppy.</p><p>“Is that tha woman he…”</p><p>“Uh-huh,” said Poppy.</p><p>Tora had daydreamed about confronting this asshole since he first heard that any guy would have the nerve to fuck around behind Poppy’s back. Still, the look on her face made him angry and hurt, all at once. How dare this dickwad have done that to her? But more importantly, why did she still look so hurt? Wasn’t she <em>over</em> him already?</p><p>Tora stood up and turned around.</p><p>“Please, please don’t start something,” Poppy begged.</p><p>“I’m not gonna hit him,” Tora promised, his voice ice cold. “I jus’ wanna get a look at him.”</p><p>Poppy surged to her feet and followed Tora as he walked back to the path.</p><p>Julri noticed Tora before he noticed Poppy. He pulled the thin blonde girl he was walking with closer to his side, trying to figure out if he needed to be scared of the tattooed behemoth emerging from the trees, and whether running was even an option. His eyes flicked around him, then past Tora, onto…</p><p>“Poppy?” Julri said. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>Tora glanced back at her. Her mouth was set in a tight line—fury? Good. As far as he was concerned, that was the only appropriate reaction. This asswipe obviously wasn’t worth feeling sorry about.</p><p>“Julri,” she said, her voice curt.</p><p>Tora stood at the edge of the path, his arms folded in front of him, sizing up Julri. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Poppy move to stand right next to him. She put an arm on his back. <em>Good</em>, Tora thought as he saw Julri notice that touch. <em>She’s not up fa’ grabs. He knows it.</em></p><p>Julri and the woman had stopped hiking. The blonde was leggy, blue eyed, thin. Tora sized her up. <em>Pretty, if ya like that kinda thing. Boring. Not cute like Bobby.</em> He turned back to Julri.</p><p>“Alright, I get it.” Tora announced. He turned to look down at Poppy. “No wonda ya didn’t want ta fuck him. Aren’t ya glad ya waited, sweetheart?” He turned to stare Julri dead in the eyes and put his arm around Poppy.</p><p>Julri flinched, snapped: “who the <em>hell </em>are you?”</p><p>Tora took three big steps forward, until he towered over Julri, who took a step back. The blonde woman was clinging to Julri’s arm, looking up at Tora in both terror and awe.</p><p>“Me? I’m the guy fuckin’ ya ex,” said Tora, his voice quiet and cold. “An’ ya just the sad, lame-dicked motha fucka whose gonna regret losin’ her tha resta ya sorry life.” He took another step forward. Julri stumbled back. His eyes had gone mindless with fear, and Tora hadn’t even touched him. “Fuck. Ya pathetic. Ya aren’t even worth tha’ time. Get outta her sight. An’ don’t leave any more messages.”</p><p>Tora watched Julri scramble back up the hill, pulling the blonde along with him. He snorted, then turned to Poppy. She sagged, one hand against a tree, propping herself up. She looked like she was about to cry.</p><p>Affection warred with annoyance. He stayed in the middle of the path, sighed, and said: “Why ya so sad, Bobby? Don’t tell me ya still have feelings fer’ that snake.”</p><p>“What? Of course not.” She scrubbed at her eyes, her hands shaking. “But that doesn’t stop it from hurting. And knowing he’s still with <em>her</em>.”</p><p>“Some people a’ idiots,” he growled. “She ain’t got nothin’ on ya.” His jaw was tense as he fumed, staring back at the hill Julri and the other woman had vanished over.</p><p>“I guess he just got tired of waiting?” She tried to make herself smile. Tora closed the distance between them swiftly, and swept her into a hug, ignoring the flare of pain that his injury sent spiking through him. He buried his face into her hair.</p><p>“If I knew I had a girl like ya, I’d wait as long as it took ‘til she was ready,” Tora told her softly, his voice breaking with sincerity. <em>Fuck. Maybe I am in love. Is that what this feelin’ is?</em> “I still don’ understand why ya were wastin’ ya time with that scrawny asshole, but ya mine now. So don’t ya dare cry any more tears ova’ him.”</p><p>Poppy pressed her face into him.</p><p>“Sometimes I’m scared you’ll get bored of me too,” she confessed, shaking in his arms. Her voice was a soft whisper. He could barely understand what she was saying. “Some prettier girl’l come along, and… and…”</p><p>“Fuck no,” said Tora. “<em>Fuck no</em>. Don’t even. Ya keep forgettin’, Bobby, I laid with my share a’ women before I met ya. Nobody, <em>nobody</em>, has eva’ made me feel a… a <em>fraction</em> of what I feel for ya. An’ as for <em>prettier</em>?” He shook his head, still holding her tight. As tight as he could without suffocating her. He dug his fingers into her lightly, bent down his head, inhaled her scent. “Ya look damn perfect ta me.”</p><p>“Don’t lie to make me feel better,” Poppy whispered back. “I know you like how I look, Tora. Really. But perfect? Nobody’s perfect. <em>I’m</em> short and pudgy.”</p><p>“Christ. Ya not pudgy. Ya… ya…” he searched for a word that would express just how alluring she was, just how hot she made him. How even now, his heart throbbing and halfway to breaking, he could feel heat building in his loins, just from holding her close. “Ya look…<em>fertile</em>,” he finished.</p><p>“<em>Fertile</em>?” Poppy screeched, pushing back from him, her face scarlet. “What is <em>that</em> supposed to mean?”</p><p>Tora blushed, too “I mean I can't think about ya without gettin' hard,” he muttered. “Fuck, Poppy. I was just tryin’ ta…” Maybe he could show her, if his words weren’t enough to convince her how he felt. He scooped her back up and crashed away into the underbrush with her, scanning the forest for a tree big enough to hide them from view of the path.</p><p>            Tora settled on a spot and cradled her on his lap. He lifted her face up to him and kissed her. “Ya haven’t got a clue how precious ya are ta me, Bobby.” She felt tiny in his arms. With his left arm, he cradled her head against his chest. He slipped his right hand down the front of her leggings. Poppy squirmed.</p><p>            “Tora, we’re in <em>public</em>,” she said.</p><p>            “There’s nobody else here, Poppy. An ya can keep ya clothes on.”</p><p>            His big hand was pinched between her clothing and her skin, making it hard to maneuver. He shifted her on his lap so he could really get at her, and traced a finger along her opening. Bending his head over her, he pressed his lips to her hair and closed his eyes.</p><p>            Her breath raced. “I’m nervous,” Poppy said, and lifted her head up to look around them. His eyes burned into her, calling her gaze back to him.</p><p>            “Ya want me to stop?” He asked.</p><p>            “…No. Don’t.”</p><p>            She settled back against him. A moment later, as he found her clit, she moaned. She hadn’t started out wet for him this time, but within moments he could feel her juices leaking out of her, making him moan back. He paused from fingering her to adjust himself, but shook his head when Poppy reached for his crotch.</p><p>             “This is all for ya, Poppy. Besides, I owe ya one,” he whispered to her.</p><p>            She stifled another moan as he made his fingers slick with her, then rubbed faster at her clit. They were both breathing heavily now, Tora’s eyes closed, his left hand holding Poppy tight against him. He didn’t ever want to let go. He wasn’t sure if his dick or his heart was throbbing harder. It was confusing, and he channeled it into her, into his hand, pawing at her pussy like his life depended on making her cum for him.</p><p>            “Tora, slow down,” she begged, gasping. “I… I feel like I’m gonna scream…”</p><p>            “So scream,” he said.</p><p>            “Not here.”</p><p>            He moved his left hand to her head; buried it against his neck.</p><p>            “Then bite me ta keep quiet,” he said.</p><p>            She did. Her moans against his skin vibrated through him, controlled him. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, trying to cut out the trees, the birds, the warmth of the sun. <em>Poppy</em>. She was the only thing he had a mind for. He dipped his fingers inside her.</p><p>            <em>Fuck</em>. He couldn’t hold his words back.</p><p>            “Poppylan,” Tora said, his voice ragged. He bent his mouth to her ear. “I… I love…” it was too soon. He couldn’t say <em>that</em> to her. He wasn’t even sure about it. A half-second passed, his mind scrambling. “…hearin’ ya moan,” he finished.</p><p><em>            Ya coward,</em> the voice in his head said.</p><p>            Tora leaned back. Poppy’s hips bucked. Her teeth closed on his skin as a muffled cry leaked out of her.</p><p>            <em>Shut up</em>, he told the voice. <em>I’m not a coward. I’m jus’ waiting ‘til the moment’s right.</em></p><p>Tora bent his head back down and pressed his lips to her cheek.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>            Tuesday.</p><p>            It was the day.</p><p>            Tora’s hands shook as he tied his tie. Checked it in the mirror. Cussed and re-tied it. It was his first time wearing a suit since he’d run into her at Chevy’s. He tied half his hair back and tried to remember that Poppy had as much as said yes to him already. It was true, but it didn’t stop him from being scared.</p><p>            His phone buzzed.</p><p>            <em>I should be done in 30 minutes</em>, Poppy said.</p><p>            “Fuck,” Tora said, full of nervous energy. He paced the small room. He wanted tonight to be perfect.</p><p>            “I don’t know <em>why </em>ya makin’ such a big deal outta it,” he told himself out loud. “Not like it’ll change anythin’ between ya.”</p><p>            Still. It felt… significant. And it was the first date—<em>official</em>, actual, date, anyways—that he’d planned by himself, without help from Quincey. He hoped she would like it.</p><p>            He checked the time. Put his phone down. Paced a lap. Checked the time again. It hadn’t changed.</p><p>            <em>I guess it doesn’ hurt ta be early</em>. He patted his pants pocket to make sure his wallet was there.</p><p>            Patted his jacket pocket to make sure the small velvet bag was there.</p><p>            Grabbed his keys and went to the car.</p><p>            Tora waited outside Poppy’s work, standing outside the car and leaning against it. He chain-smoked until she came out of the building and smiled at him.</p><p>            “Ya got dressed up,” he said. She slipped off her blazer, turning the dress she wore from professional to sexy.</p><p>            “Well, you told me to,” said Poppy. “You look…” what was that pause? He studied her face. “Really good, Tora. It suits you. I mean. Sorry. I wasn’t trying to make a pun.”</p><p>            “Ya ready for dinner?” He asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.</p><p>            “Uh-huh.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Poppy stared at the menu.</p><p>            Tora stared at Poppy.</p><p>            A waiter came by to take drink orders. Poppy got a glass of wine. Tora shook his head. “Jus’ the water.”</p><p>            They were alone again, sitting across from each other. <em>Deep breath. Jesus, ya like a nervous school girl</em>, he told himself. Tora looked at the white tablecloth, at the candles, and nodded. He tapped his left hand’s fingers on the table; looked down. Looked back up.</p><p>            She was looking at him. Her hair was in one loose braid, spilling over her shoulder. Her wide eyes glimmered in the candlelight. It was time.</p><p>            “Poppylan,” said Tora. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Would… will ya be my girlfriend?” His voice was soft and low, meant only for her ears.</p><p>            She melted, a smile spreading across her face. Poppy leaned forward and reached across the table to take his left hand.</p><p>He fumbled in his suit pocket for the bag with his right hand; pulled it out one-handed beneath the table.  Squeezing her hand, he turned it over and put the bag in it.</p><p>            Her lips parted.</p><p>            “Oh! Tora? What?”</p><p>            “Ya haven’t answered the question,” he said.</p><p>            “You already <em>know</em> the answer,” she said, voice trembling. “<em>Yes</em>.”</p><p>            No word had ever sounded so sweet to his ears. “Go ahead.” He pushed her hand towards her, blushing. She opened the bag. A thin silver necklace chain spilled out of it. A little red flower dangled off the chain.</p><p>            “<em>Oh</em>,” she gasped.</p><p>            “It’s a Poppy—” he explained, embarrassed. “I can bring it back if ya don’t like it.”</p><p>            “Don’t be silly. Help me put it on.”</p><p>            He got out of the chair and stood behind her, threading the chain under her braid. He bent down to fasten it, and stayed there for a moment with his hands on her shoulders before returning to his seat. He was still shaking even though the moment was over.</p><p>            Tora chugged his water. Poppy was looking down at the table, shaking her head.</p><p>            “Wha’s wrong?” he said.</p><p>            “Nothing.” She turned her face up to him and smiled, radiant, a flower turning its face to the sun. “I’m happy.”</p><p>            He swallowed. “Me, too. Doesn’t feel real.”</p><p>            “It doesn’t? Hm. Excuse me?” Poppy turned to get a waiter’s attention. The man came over. “Sorry,” she said. “I don’t mean to bother you, but could you get my boyfriend some more water?” The man nodded and walked away.</p><p>            <em>Boyfriend.</em></p><p>            <em>She… called ya her boyfriend.</em></p><p>BADUMP. Tora’s heart lurched, and he pressed a hand over it.</p><p>            <em>Fuck.</em></p><p>He was the luckiest man in the world.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Playing with Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora sees a new side of Poppy, and can't tell whether he likes it or not.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning for rough sex/possible light non-con play</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thanks for reading. Enjoy, and please let me know if you like it!</p>
<hr/><p>Halfway up the stairs to Poppy’s apartment, Tora scooped her into his arms and kept climbing.</p><p>“I seem to remember makin’ ya a promise,” he said, his lips pulling back in a half-smile that revealed a little too much tooth. “Something about fuckin’ ya till ya couldn’t walk.”</p><p> “We’ll see. You talk a big game,” Poppy said. There was a twinkle in her eyes as she looked up at him.</p><p>Tora paused on the last landing before her door.</p><p>“What’s that supposed ta mean?”</p><p>“It means, your act doesn’t fool me anymore.”</p><p>“<em>Act?</em>’” he kept climbing.</p><p>“Mm-hm. Tough on the outside, but I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body. You’re not a tiger. You’re just an overgrown kitten.”</p><p>Tora was silent, but his eyes narrowed and he frowned. She stayed in his arms in front of the door, fetching the keys out of her purse and unlocking it. Inside, he put her down.</p><p>“I don’t think you have it in you to be rough with me,” Poppy told him, fastening her purse closed again and setting it on the ground.</p><p>“If you know what’s good for ya, Poppy, stop talking,” Tora snapped.</p><p>“Or you’ll what? Growl at me and then make love gently anyways?”</p><p>He pushed her back against the wall with one hand on her shoulder, and one hand a fist against the wall. A foot of empty space hung between them as Tora glared down at her.  The lights were off; only moonlight illuminated them.</p><p>“Ya got a problem with me, Bobby?” he snarled.  </p><p>“Yup,” she said, and tugged on his tie to pull him in. He yanked it off instead, and threw it onto the ground.</p><p>“What tha’ hell game are ya playing, Bobby?”</p><p>“Just trying to get a rise out of you,” she whispered. “And it looks like it’s working.”</p><p>“Didn’t ya momma teach ya not to play with fire?”</p><p>“Nope. Didn’t your dad teach you not to take an insult lying down?”</p><p>“The hell makes ya think I knew my dad?”</p><p>The smile dropped off of Poppy’s face.</p><p>“What? Tora, I… Sorry. I didn’t know,” she said.</p><p>“There’s a hell of a lot ya don’t know.” He threw her over the shoulder and carried her into the bedroom, where he dropped her unceremoniously on the bed. Tora unbuckled his belt, drew it off him, and threw it on the floor. Next was his jacket. He began to unbutton his shirt.</p><p>“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” Poppy said, sitting up on the bed.</p><p>“I’m not hurt.”</p><p>            “You look hurt.”</p><p>            “I’m not hurt,” Tora growled. “I’m pissed off at ya <em>attitude</em>.”</p><p>He shrugged out of his shirt, now wearing only his pants, and dragged her forward to the edge of the bed by the front of her dress.</p><p>“But let’s get one thing straight, Poppy.” His breath was hot on her face as he bent over her, his fist still wrapped in the fabric of her clothes. “I’m gentle to ya ‘cuz ya couldn’t handle me othawise. I’m <em>not</em> a nice man.”</p><p>             “If you say so.”</p><p>            “Are ya gonna apologize, or am I gonna have ta prove it to ya?”</p><p>            “I don’t know, tiger,” Poppy whispered, grabbing him by the belt-loops on his pants. “I <em>still</em> just hear a bunch of talk.”</p><p>            “Are ya drunk?” She’d only had two glasses of wine at the restaurant.</p><p>            “No. Are you stalling?”</p><p>            “I have no idea what tha’ <em>fuck</em> got into ya, on tonight of all nights,” said Tora. “But fine, Bobby. If that’s the game ya wanna play. <em>Let’s play.</em>”</p><p>            He yanked forward, pulling her off the bed. She stumbled onto the floor, held up only by his hold on her dress. Tora pushed her onto her knees and unbuttoned his pants, drawing out his cock.</p><p>            “Guess you like it, huh?” Poppy huffed, eyeing how stiff he was.</p><p>            “Shut up,” Tora growled, and pushed himself into her mouth. He held her head still and thrust in and out of her until she gagged, then pulled himself out. “Say ya sorry, Poppy.”</p><p>            She gasped for air and put her hands on his thighs for balance.</p><p>            He put himself back into her and pushed against her, testing the limits of what she could swallow. Poppy choked, and Tora withdrew himself again.</p><p>            “<em>Say sorry</em>,” he commanded again.</p><p>            “You’re just… begging for an excuse… to stop, huh?” Poppy wheezed after she caught her breath.</p><p>            He crouched down and grabbed her by the shoulders. “What tha’ hell did ya do with my sweet girl? Who tha hell do ya think ya are, tonight?”</p><p>            Poppy blinked up at him. “Your girlfriend,” she said.</p><p>He stood up, and she put her lips around him.</p><p>            <em>Jesus.</em> Tora couldn’t make heads or tails of it. He didn’t know this side of Poppy existed. He couldn’t tell if he liked it, but one thing was certain: it was definitely making him hard, and he was absolutely going to fuck her.</p><p>            He shoved her back off him, ramming her into the side of the bed. Tora grabbed the dress and ripped it up off of her. The necklace he’d fastened on her just hours ago slid back down to dangle above her tits. Tora hauled her up and threw her back onto the bed.</p><p>            “That’s right, Poppy,” Tora said. “<em>Ya mine</em>. So we have a problem, ‘cuz ya outta ya goddamned mind.” He got the condom from his pocket and let his pants drop to the floor. Stepping out of them, he wrapped himself and got onto the bed. She was lying on her back, propped up a little on her elbows and waiting for him.</p><p>            “Turn over,” Tora said.</p><p>            “Why don’t you make me?” said Poppy.</p><p>            “<em>I’m done with this</em>,” he said, and grabbed her by the panties. He yanked them off her, then put his hands back on her hips and flipped her. Crawling on top of her, he wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and used it to push her head down to the pillows. She squirmed, angling her hips up at him.</p><p>            “How a little slut like ya stayed a virgin all these years is beyond me,” Tora growled into her ear. “So let’s play a different game, Bobby. Why don’t ya try begging for me instead?”     </p><p>            “See?” She panted. “Can’t even take me without me having to ask.” She pushed her ass up higher, grinding against him. Tora groaned and pulled himself back off her.</p><p>            “I never thought I’d say this, Bobby, but <em>fuck you</em>.”</p><p>            Reaching between her legs, he located her pussy. It was dripping. He guided his cock to it. His right hand grabbed her hair and pulled her head back sharply. His left hand grabbed onto her hips for support as he kneeled upright and drove himself into her. She was tight, and gripped his throbbing member in a way that made him shudder from pleasure. He began to pump in and out of her.</p><p>            “Play… with… my… clit,” Poppy commanded, between pants that burst out of her with every thrust of his cock.</p><p>            “I… don’t… take… orders… from… ya,” Tora growled back, and yanked harder on her hair before slamming himself into her. His balls swung forward to slap against her, and Poppy moaned. “Ya like that, huh?” he said, and rammed into her again.</p><p>            “Ah,” said Poppy. “Ah… ah… ah… <em>Tora…”</em></p><p><em>            “That’s right… </em>say it <em>again</em>.”</p><p>            “Make me,” she choked out, before moaning again, and pushing herself back up against him.</p><p>            He growled and dropped the hand from her hip down around her, reaching for her clit and beginning to circle it.</p><p>            “Ha,” said Poppy. “I… ah… ah…. <em>Unggg</em>…. Win<em>.”</em></p><p>“Keep telling… ya’self….fff…. shit….” He slammed into her faster, and threw his head back. “God… fucking… damn ya… Poppy,” he growled out between thrusts, before pulling his dripping cock out of her and wrenching her over onto her back.</p><p>            He dropped himself lower along her body and bent his mouth to her, knowing that if he kept fucking her he was going to cum before she did. He licked and sucked at her as she pushed her hips up against him, moaning.</p><p>            “Tora,” Poppy cried. “Get back inside me.”</p><p>            “Ya’d like that, wouldn’t ya, sweetheart,” he pulled away to say, before pushing his face back up against her.</p><p>            “Please,” Poppy said.</p><p>            Tora ignored her and kept rubbing his tongue against her.</p><p>            “<em>Please</em>,” Poppy said again. “<em>Please</em>.”</p><p>            He finally gave in, and shoved his cock roughly into her, his thumb still flicking at her.</p><p>            Poppy arched up as her cries reached a crescendo, and fell flat again. He stopped playing with her clit and moved a hand to her chest instead, where he pulled her bra down and pinched her nipples hard, then dug his fingers into the soft flesh of one of her breasts.</p><p>            “I wanna… feel… you cum,” Poppy murmured.</p><p>            “No,” Tora growled. “Fuck… if ya think… ya getting… what ya want.”</p><p>            Poppy rocked her hips up against him, and wrapped her legs around him, and dragged her fingers down his chest. She ran her hands back up and buried her fists in his hair, and arched her back. She cried out.</p><p>            <em>Fuck</em>. He gave way and emptied everything he had into her.</p><p>            They lay panting with him still inside her for some time. At last Tora pulled out.</p><p>            “Where tha’ hell did that come from?” He wanted to know, hovering over her.</p><p>            Poppy blinked up at him.</p><p>            “I’m always asking you to be gentle,” she murmured at last. “I wanted to see what else you could do.”</p><p>            Tora shook his head as he stood up.</p><p>            “I never thought a woman would be the death of me,” he muttered. “Especially not one so little n’ cute as you.”</p><p>            When he returned from cleaning himself off, Poppy had taken off her bra and was snuggled under the blankets. He joined her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close. “Don’t tell me I still have ta be mean to ya,” he whispered in her ear, and kissed the side of her neck. Poppy nuzzled up against him.</p><p>            “Uh-uh,” she whispered back. “Please don’t be.” She looked up at him. “But I still don’t think you’re a ‘bad man.’”</p><p>            “Are we gonna have to go through this again?” He said, running his hand down her back.</p><p>            “You say that like it’s bad to be nice,” Poppy whispered. She kissed him tenderly on the mouth, then the chin, then one cheek. He exhaled and let himself sink into it, then rose up and kissed her neck. Then her mouth.</p><p>            “Poppy,” he whispered. “The things ya do to me…”</p><p>            There was a faint scratching noise.</p><p>            She opened her mouth to answer him and Tora lay a finger across her lips. He sat up and turned his head towards where, through the wall and in the other room, her front door lay. Tora strained to listen.</p><p>            A clicking noise again. Scratching. He knew that sound, even as faint as it was. Not a key, but lockpicks. “<em>let me try,”</em> a voice said.</p><p>            “Put on ya clothes,” Tora whispered in her ear, so quiet she could barely hear him. “Stay in ya room. An’ if something goes wrong, ya hide under ya bed.”</p><p>            He slid silently out of the bed and swiftly fastened his pants before slipping out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Kid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Intruders try to break into Poppy's apartment, bringing Tora's nightmare world crashing right into her life.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Howdy, friends.</p><p>If you didn't notice, I updated the archive tags to include graphic violence. Please be warned that starts this chapter.</p><p>Well, what was intended as a one-shot has clearly taken on a life of its own. I really appreciate everyone who has been reading and hope the development won't make you hate it! A story has formed in my mind and while I don't know how many chapters it will take to get to the end, so long as at least someone enjoys it, there is a decent amount left to tell. </p><p>That does mean that while the "bread-and-butter" of this story is 10000% meant to be romantic smutty smut and will continue to be so, for plot reasons there will be some chapters without as much of those elements. I'm kind of nervous about that and hoping people won't hate it, but if you do that's totally fair. I live and write for the feedback so please keep it coming, good or bad.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<hr/><p>            If there was one thing to be grateful for, it was that the intruders hadn’t arrived a half-hour earlier. The noise they made was audible but quiet. Tora would not have noticed anything if he’d been in the throws of passion with Poppy.</p><p>With a silence belied by his size, Tora stalked to the door. He slid into a fighting crouch just outside of the range of the door’s inward motion, his feet shoulder-width with one a little in front of the other and his knees bent slightly.</p><p>            As he reached one hand to touch the knob lightly, and another to the deadbolt, he listened. Metallic clicks and scratching sounds, a <em>fuck</em> muttered under someone’s breath. The deadbolt wiggled slightly under Tora’s fingers, although he hadn’t moved it. He heard two men at least.</p><p>One would be right in front of the door, at the lock. That knowledge meant he could land at least one attack before the element of surprise was lost, no matter who was waiting on the other side. His calculation was instant, born of long practice: whether the man was kneeling or standing, if he attacked at a certain height he could get either the head or the groin with only a slight adjustment mid-air.</p><p>            With a burst of movement, Tora flipped the lock and wrenched the door open. His knee cocked up towards his chest, and in one fluid snap his foot shot forward. Toes pulled back, the bare ball of his foot connected with a ski-mask covered chin. <em>Shit</em>, Tora thought as the kick snapped the man’s face back and sideways with a horrific crunch. Likely the man was paralyzed or dead; the twist of his neck suggested it had been broken. He’d have to be more careful with the other if he wanted answers.</p><p>            The tiger was raising his fists and spinning towards the next target even as his foot fell to connect with the ground. There was only one other man there, slight-bodied, comparatively short, and also wearing a ski-mask. The second burglar tried to raise the handgun he had been holding at his side, but nobody was as fast as Tora.</p><p>            One tattooed arm reached up high. One elbow came smashing down onto the man’s collarbone. There was another crunch as Tora’s blow connected. The man doubled over with a grunt, his gun dropping out of his limp hand. Tora tossed him to the ground.</p><p>            In one fluid motion, Tora had the handgun in his hand and his knee on the throat of the still-conscious man.</p><p>            “<em>Don’t scream,”</em> Tora warned. When the man took a frightened gulp of air, Tora rammed the muzzle of the gun into his mouth. With his free hand, he reached over to check the pulse of the one he’d kicked. Nothing. <em>Fuck.</em> At least he wouldn’t have to worry about him getting up, and at least it was one of those rare bloodless deaths. He was in no mood to scrub the floor.</p><p>            Tora pulled up the gun and yanked off the ski-mask off the face of the man under his knee and sighed. Young, barely a man. Dyed hair, the sides of his head shaved. No clan brand visible anywhere. The boy was shaking, tears leaking out of his eyes. </p><p>            “<em>Please. Please, don’t shoot.” </em>he whispered.</p><p>            “Answer me and I won’t. Someone send ya?” Tora’s voice was crystal clear and deadly cold. The odds someone would choose her door out of all the doors, up so many flights of stairs, was not impossible—but it was slim.</p><p>            The boy gulped. Tears leaked out of his eyes and the stench of piss filled Tora’s nose.</p><p>            “Well?” Tora cocked the gun and pressed in between the boy’s eyes.</p><p>            “Y…yes. Nobody was supposed to be home.”</p><p>            “Who sent you? Why?”</p><p>            “I don’t know! I swear, I… I don’t know the name! He just said t…to get in and learn what we could about w…whoever lived there, and he’d pay us.”</p><p>            “How much did he offer?”</p><p>            The amount was large. Whoever sent the boy wasn’t fucking around. With that amount he could have sent a professional who would have gotten the lock open before Tora could have reached the front door. <em>Why send the kid? </em></p><p>            “<em>What did he look like?</em>”</p><p>            The boy gulped again, sobbing fat tears. Tora restrained himself against making another threat, though he left the gun where it was. He waited.</p><p>            “D…dark hair? An’… he was Balthuman. Had the same….” The boy gulped. “The same mark as you.”</p><p>            “You have his number?”</p><p>            “No. We… we were supposed to meet him… after.”</p><p>            “Where?”</p><p>            “Club miracle…. <em>Please, I don’t want to die.</em>”</p><p>            Tora sighed and raised up the gun, pointing it towards the ceiling as thoughts spun through his head. He turned to pull off the other man’s ski-mask. Young as well; a pierced eyebrow and a stupid-ass skull tattoo on his cheek. Nobody he recognized. <em>Young idiots.</em></p><p>He turned back to the boy under his knee.</p><p>            “Ya got a car?”</p><p>            “Outside.”</p><p>            “Listen to me. This is what ya gonna do. You take your friend’s body with ya. Dump him where ya like. <em>Not within a mile a’ this place.</em> You take yaself to the hospital, <em>tonight</em>. You got your injury somewhere on Ares street<em>. Not here</em>. You tell <em>nobody</em> what happened here.”</p><p>            The boy nodded. Tora made him repeat everything back, then leaned in close.</p><p>            “<em>If I hear a whisper of this gettin’ out, I will hunt you down.</em> Ya understand?”</p><p>            The boy choked out another sob and nodded.</p><p>            “Go. And a word of advice, kid? Turn ya life around while ya still have the chance.”</p><p>            Tora stood up and the boy grappled with the heavy body of his friend, hissing in pain at the broken collarbone. Tora watched until they were out of sight, then went inside and hoped he wouldn’t come to regret his decisions. Adrenaline kept his head oddly cool and calm, though in a distant, rational way he knew it would all come crashing down later.</p><p> If Poppy weren’t inside he would have taken care of the body himself, but the thought that there could be a second attempt lingered on his mind, and he wasn’t about to take her to drop a corpse with him.</p><p>            If any of her neighbors were awake and looked into the hallway, they would be in trouble. Fate had been kind to Tora from the past month until this moment. He prayed a thread of that luck would hold a little bit longer so they could make a clean escape.</p><p>            He wiped the boy's spit off the muzzle of the gun and turned on the safety. Tora tucked it into the back of his pants, the handle sticking up.</p><p>            “It’s just me, Poppy,” he said as he locked the door behind him. He pushed open the door to the bedroom. She was frozen in fear against the back wall, staring at him like a deer in the headlights. He went to the window to watch the parking lot below.</p><p>            “We need to get out of here, now,” he said without looking at her again. “Throw ya stuff in a bag.”</p><p>            “….Why? Did… did you…” Her voice was shaking.</p><p>“Someone sent ‘em.”</p><p>            “I don’t understand.”</p><p>            “Me neither. But I’m gonna keep ya safe, okay? Look, it… it could be over now. But we ain’t gonna take that chance. Pack ya things. Hurry.”</p><p>            Behind him he could tell she was moving around the room, following his instructions to pack. <em>As soon as I see tha' boy leave, we're outta here.</em></p><p>            The boy emerged into the parking lot, an ant below them. He was tugging the corpse along with him, and wrestled it into the back of a beat up white car. For once Tora was glad that Poppy lived in such an empty place. The car started, then blazed out of the lot.</p><p>            “Time, Poppy,” Tora said. He grabbed his phone and his shirt from the floor and took her hand, pulling her behind him as he punched his thumb against his screen and called Gyu.</p><p>            “Big bro,” the man said. “I was about to call. Something’s going down.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Tora’s car swung up to the front of the building where Quincey lived. He swept his eyes around: nothing there. He grabbed a duffle bag out of the trunk.</p><p>            “Come on.” He pulled Poppy inside. On the lift to Quincey’s floor, Tora pulled her into his arms.</p><p>            “Listen to me, Poppy,” he whispered to her. “I don’t know how to make up for this an’ I know it’s not what ya signed up for. But I think tonight is gonna get worse before it goes better. Just try to trust me. And know that I would do anything to keep you safe.”</p><p>            She was silent and unmoving, not softening against him. He held her close anyways, until the door opened.</p><p>            At Quincey’s door, Tora called instead of knocking.</p><p>            “I’m here. Let me in.”</p><p>            Quincey opened the door, looking shaken. Tora pulled Poppy inside as Quincey locked the door.</p><p>            “Tora, explain,” Quincey said. “<em>Why</em> did you call me ten minutes ago and say not to answer my door for anyone?”</p><p>            “Poppy, can ya go to the back bedroom?” Tora asked.</p><p>            “I’m not going anywhere,” she said. Even in fear she was glorious, hands balled, back straight and her chin stubborn.</p><p>            “Please?”</p><p>            She shook her head no and Tora sighed. <em>I guess she deserves to know. She’s tied up in it. </em>He turned back to Quincey.</p><p>            “I don’t know what’s happening, Quince, but something is up tonight. Gyu heard… some stuff. I’m tryin’ to piece it together but I think… I think someone’s got it in for me. And if they’d come after Poppy to hurt me, they might come for ya, too.”</p><p>            “Oh,” said Quincey, and fell back onto his couch. “So… you’ll camp out here tonight?”</p><p>            “No, Quince. I’ve got a score to settle.” He set the duffle bag down. “I have my men comin’. Those I trust most. To keep an eye on you both.”</p><p>            “You’re <em>my bodyguard</em>,” said Quincey. “If you think someone is coming after me… after all three of us…”</p><p>            “I can’t sit here and wait for him to strike,” hissed Tora without saying who ‘he’ was. “You’ll be safe here. Just keep away from tha’ windows and keep ya door locked.”</p><p>            “Absolutely not, Tora. I’ll call dad and say you abandoned me.”</p><p>            “<em>No</em>, ya won’t. I have to—” his phone buzzed. Tora pulled it out of his pocket. Gyu and the others were here.</p><p>            Tora opened the door and let in the three men.</p><p>            “Gyu, Jae. Don’t let anyone in. Keep an eye outta the windows. If ya let harm fall on either of ‘em, I will personally break every bone ya have. Rifles and ammo in that bag if shit gets real. Ren, ya with me tonight.”</p><p>            He smiled sadly at Gyu, who was shaking in his shoes. "Welcome to the big leagues, kid."</p><p>            Tora pulled Poppy into the hallway, out of sight of the others. She wouldn’t look at him. Her lips were pressed tight with either fear or fury, he wasn’t sure.</p><p>            “Sweet. Look at me,” he begged. He turned her face up at him and her eyes met him in a piercing blaze.</p><p>            “Don’t leave,” she said. “Tora, you aren’t even all the way healed yet…”</p><p>            “I have to.”</p><p>            “No, you don’t. If something… if something happens to you…”</p><p>            “I have no choice. If someone’s willing ta hurt ya to get ta me… I gotta take care of that, <em>now</em>. So just… sit tight and try not ta worry.”</p><p>            He kissed her firmly on the lips. She didn’t kiss him back, but she did bury her fists into his shirt and let out a single, strangled sob.</p><p>            “Shush. The guys I’m leavin’ here, I trust. So trust <em>me,</em> Poppy.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Not long later, Tora’s car was parked near club miracle. With one trusted man at his back, he climbed the steps.</p><p>            Not thirty minutes later, back in his condo, Quincey’s phone began to ring.</p><p>            “Dad?” Quincey said, answering. “No, Tora’s not… yeah, he…”</p><p>            The phone call went on a minute longer. Quincey’s face cracked, an expression of horror sliding into place. Poppy, Gyu, and Jae stared at him, all tense.</p><p>            “I will. Bye,” Quincey said softly. He hung up.</p><p>            “What did the big boss say?” Jae asked.</p><p>            Rather than answer, Quincey picked up his TV remote with a shaking hand. He turned on the screen and flipped to the news, then fell back onto the couch and struggled to breathe.</p><p>            On the screen, helicopter footage circled above Ares street. Sirens surged, lights flickering blue and red. A car was on fire. Bodies in the street. <em>AKING NEWS-BREAKING NEWS-BREAKI </em>scrolled across the bottom of the screen. A newscaster’s voice blandly spoke over the footage.</p><p>“…it remains to be seen whether the national guard will be deployed as early reports come in of widespread fighting in Narin City’s Ares district. Body counts are uncertain, but police are working to contain the conflict from the rest of the city in what has quickly become the most violent outbreak of the decade…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Tiger Tiger, Burning Bright</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Disaster strikes at Miracle while Poppy watches the footage play on the news.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>buckle up, friends :0</p><p>Thank you so so so much for your support &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Tyger Tyger, burning bright,</em><br/>
<em>In the forests of the night;</em><br/>
<em>What immortal hand or eye,</em><br/>
<em>Could frame thy fearful symmetry?</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>In what distant deeps or skies.</em><br/>
<em>Burnt the fire of thine eyes?</em><br/>
<em>On what wings dare he aspire?</em><br/>
<em>What the hand, dare seize the fire?</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>And what shoulder, &amp; what art,</em><br/>
<em>Could twist the sinews of thy heart?</em><br/>
<em>And when thy heart began to beat,</em><br/>
<em>What dread hand? &amp; what dread feet?</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>What the hammer? what the chain,</em><br/>
<em>In what furnace was thy brain?</em><br/>
<em>What the anvil? what dread grasp,</em><br/>
<em>Dare its deadly terrors clasp!</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>When the stars threw down their spears</em><br/>
<em>And water'd heaven with their tears:</em><br/>
<em>Did he smile his work to see?</em><br/>
<em>Did he who made the Lamb make thee?</em><br/>
<br/>
<em>Tyger Tyger burning bright,</em><br/>
<em>In the forests of the night:</em><br/>
<em>What immortal hand or eye,</em><br/>
<em>Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>The Tyger, William Blake</strong>
</p><p>---</p><p>            What happened was this:</p><p>            Tora walked into Miracle, Ren trailing half a step behind him. Ren wasn’t a mass of solid muscle like Tora, but he was still a big man; his face pocked and scarred, his short hair brown and curly. Like Tora, the Balthuman crest branded his neck, claiming him as Vincent’s property. In Tora’s car, both men had armored up. Guns in their belts (not the one he’d taken earlier in the night; its quality was shit compared to the handgun under the driver’s seat of his car). Knives under the pants, strapped around the ankle. </p><p>            The club was oddly crowded for a Tuesday night. Keeping to the wall, Tora stalked the perimeter and studied the crowd. Candy danced on stage as a loud <em>thump-thump-thu-thu-thu-thump </em>of bass ripped through the air, vibrating the walls, floors, and couches. Half the crowd was drunk, and holding drinks.</p><p>            Here was the thing Tora noticed too late, when he was already deep inside the club:</p><p>            Miracle was as close to Balthuman headquarters as you could get in a public place. While it always attracted general street riff-raff and wannabes, he usually recognized the vast majority of people inside. Balthuman members or potentials or informants. More than a bar and strip club, it was a home base. Tora’s entire life had revolved around the Clan, and even when he pulled away from its affairs he had a finger on the pulse of things.</p><p>            But tonight, dangerous looking strangers slipped among the crowd in pairs of twos and threes. That in itself would have been suspicious, but it got worse: the strangers <em>all had something in common</em>. Each had a blue-gemmed stud in one ear.</p><p>            <em>Clan</em> was about family, property, pack. There wasn’t a clan in the world that didn’t brand its members in some way.</p><p>             Tora stopped in a corner and leaned over to whisper something in Ren’s ear, his eyes not leaving the crowd. He swiftly counted, his gaze flicking over the room.</p><p>            None of the strangers were drinking. Their eyes were clear, snapping around the room as they mingled and chattered and looked at the pretty woman writhing and shaking on the stage.</p><p>            Martin sat on one of the curved benches bordering a low table, hands behind his head as he talked to those around him:</p><p>            Claude. Scharch. <em>Yadori, </em>whose rank should not have garnered him a position at that table.  And…two men Tora had never seen, whose height and muscle rivaled even his own.</p><p><em>            All of them had blue studs, </em>even those whose strength had long since been pledged to big boss Balthuman.</p><p>            Tora elbowed Ren and nodded in Martin’s direction.</p><p>            “Fuck,” Ren muttered. "I see it too."</p><p><em>            Maybe I screwed ova’ one too many people</em>, Tora thought, leaning back against the wall. He scratched his back, looking willfully idle, then casually let his hand fall down until it rested on the gun. <em>Maybe I had this comin’ for me.</em></p><p>            Tora had planned to rely on the element of surprise. He’d taken the words of the boy at face value. If nobody was supposed to be home, if it was just an informational mission, he figured his enemies wouldn’t know that he was on to them.</p><p>            Tora had made two assumptions: first, that the lockpickers tonight were a wind-up for some future attack. Second, that the attack was aimed towards him. He had a bad feeling that neither assumption was true. <em>I got played</em>, he thought in a tired sort of way.</p><p>            It was a trap. More than anything, Tora hated to be caged; it was a deep set loathing that reached back to his earliest childhood memories. Trying to put the pieces together, his eyes flickered back and forth across the crowd again.</p><p><em>            Why </em>else <em>send kids. </em></p><p>
  <em>            Ya were supposed to find them, supposed to question them, supposed ta come here. They were bait, and they didn’t even know it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>            Those kids were sent to die at ya hands. And they went ta Poppy’s, so someone’s been watching ya…and ya were so busy falling in love ya didn’t even notice it. </em>
</p><p>            He’d joked more than once that Poppy would be the death of him. He hadn’t thought it would be true.</p><p>            Martin turned his head and his eyes lit on Tora. Martin clapped Scharch on the back with one hand, balancing a glass in the other. Then Martin stood up and smiled, and sauntered through the crowd towards Tora. As if uncoordinated, and without any apparent communication, there was a shift in the crowd. A number of the strangers were making their way in a casual, slow fashion towards where Tora and Ren stood.</p><p>            Tora’s eyes narrowed. He slowly drew the gun out of the back of his pants, but kept it hidden behind him. Ren tensed and uncrossed his hands, then slowly ran them through his hair: in a single shift, when the time came, he could bring them forward into a boxing stance. Both men shifted their stance imperceptibly. No civilian would have noticed that they had altered the balance of their weight to ready for a fight.</p><p>            “So much for a fair fight,” Ren whispered to Tora.</p><p>            “No such thing as a fair fight,” Tora muttered back. “Life’s a bitch. Someone’s always gotta lose.”</p><p>            The hand that was <em>not</em> on Tora’s gun came up to lazily scratch at his chin. At least, that was what a civilian would think--but then, there were no civilians in Miracle that night. In truth, it was a fighting move. A hand by the face was ready to snap out into a punch, or ready to block a strike from fist or knife, or able to catch the muzzle of a gun in the V between thumb and fingers to push the barrel off-course while the other hand snapped up in swift painful retribution.</p><p>            Every movement the two men made, crafted and calculated to look lazy and relaxed, was written in the language of death.</p><p>            “Tora, dear friend,” said Martin, raising a hand of his own in what looked like a wave.  “I’ve been expecting you.”</p><p>            <em>Sorry, Poppy, </em>thought Tora. <em>I wish I’d taken the chance to tell ya how I felt.</em></p><p>---</p><p>            Gyu had long since explained what little he knew. None of them talked anymore. Now and then Gyu or Jae would stand up to push aside the blinds and survey the surroundings, but it was deadly quiet around Quincey’s building. Both Gyu and Jae had taken terrifyingly large guns out of the duffle bag. The bolt-action rifles rested by their feet, ten bullets each, more at the ready to be loaded.</p><p>            Suddenly Poppy leapt to her feet. Her heart had been beating a rhythm so loud that she could barely hear the commentary from the television announcer, but now it skipped a beat—two, three beats—and lodged in her throat.</p><p>            “Is that—”  Gyu gasped.</p><p>            “Definitely,” croaked Quincey.</p><p>            Four pairs of eyes were glued on the television.</p><p>            The helicopter passed over the entrance to club Miracle. The figures on the ground were small and unclear, but recognizable to those who knew them well.</p><p>            A dark-haired behemoth of a man came tumbling down the stairs. His pants were black. If it weren’t part of the wider nightmare scene, his dress shirt might have looked like tie-die, the once-white garment splattered all over with red. He sprawled on the concrete, still for a moment before he pressed himself up.      </p><p>            Someone else had come down the stairs. The other figure slammed a foot down on the big man’s back.</p><p>            Poppy let out a strangled sob. She whipped her head away, unwilling to watch; then back, unable to look away.</p><p>            “Is that <em>Martin?”</em> Quincey whispered. “But… I don’t…<em>why</em>…”</p><p>            Other figures came charging down the stairs. The big man thrashed, evaded the feet kicking at him, and threw himself upright. Like a wild animal he flailed and struck. One of the men coming at Tora went down like a rock as a fist connected to his jaw. Another stumbled back as a foot connected to him. A third caught an elbow in the eye.</p><p>            But then the big man was down again.</p><p>            Up again. The crowd of them shifted, migrating up the screen. A dozen figures surrounded Tora, throwing themselves onto him. He kept shedding them, but they kept coming. He stumbled again, and fell to his knees. Took a few kicks to the stomach, crawled forward. Fought his way to his feet again, stumbling and swaying.</p><p>            Were they <em>herding</em> him?</p><p>            The helicopter passed by, on to other scenes of chaos.</p><p>            Tense silence reigned in Quincey’s living room.</p><p>            Quincey grabbed his phone. His hands shook so hard that it fell and clattered to the floor.</p><p>            He grabbed it, and this time held on although his hands still shook. He hit <em>call.</em></p><p>“Its old footage,” Poppy said, turning around for confirmation, desperate. “It…it’s on a delay. He… he could have gotten away already. He was still fighting.”</p><p>            Nobody answered her. Gyu’s eyes flickered to her, pity warring against pain. He turned back to the screen.</p><p>            “They don’t want to kill him,” Jae whispered. “If they did, they would have shot him already. So what is he…?”</p><p>            Poppy clung to that comment like it was the only life-raft, and she floating in the ocean a thousand miles from shore.</p><p>            “<em>Dad?” </em>Quincey asked when the other end of the phone picked up. “We…we’re watching the news, and it… it looked like Martin just...” A long pause followed.</p><p>            “<em>No</em>,” said Quincey. “Are you safe…?”</p><p>            A long pause again. Then Quincey put down the phone. “He hung up on me,” he whispered to the others. “Martin… Martin’s making a run. For the clan. I guess he… I guess he’s been recruiting?” His voice choked, and he made himself keep talking through a flood of emotion. “Recruiting? From other clans? Pr—promising them better than what they were getting, I guess?”</p><p>            “What does he want with Tora? Will he… will he let him go?” Poppy cried, spinning to look at Quincey. “Will he be okay?”</p><p>            “I don’t know, honey.” Quincey bent over and rested his head against his clasped fists. “D… dad thinks… Martin went after Tora, ‘cuz… Tora always had Dad’s back… and without Tora, Martin can…” Quincey pushed a hand against his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut, holding back a sob.</p><p>            The helicopter made a pass back, and they watched Tora being shoved into a red van. The van careened down the street. Gunfire rained in every direction.</p><p>            “They want him alive,” Poppy whispered, rocking back and forth and squeezing her hands together. She squeezed her eyes shut. “<em>They want him alive. They want him alive.”</em></p><p>The helicopter was gone again.</p><p>            <em>“…Riot police have made the difficult decision to pull forces back and patrol only the perimeter of the district. The government has yet to issue a statement. At least six confirmed civilians have been caught in the cross-fire. Gang deaths are yet unaccounted for, but aerial footage shows…”</em></p><p>            The helicopter swept over a side street. For a moment, a red van was in view. As the frame shifted away, the van came to a halt and someone jumped out to open the back door.</p><p>            In the bottom of the frame, there was a flurry of motion around the door of the van. Then the helicopter was gone.</p><p>            “What is that? Where is that?” Poppy’s eyes tore around the room, boring into Quincey, who shook his head in confusion. She moved on to Gyu whose lips trembled.</p><p>            “Warehouse?” he said. “I think? Not much else on that street.”</p><p>            “What do they want with him?” she begged. None of the men would answer.</p><p>            Poppy’s eyes flickered to the open duffel back on the floor, then back to the television. Then back to the duffel bag.</p><p>            “We have to go get him.” She said at last.</p><p>            Three pairs of eyes stared at her in disbelief.</p><p>            “We’re staying put,” said Jae. “He told us to protect the two of you, and that’s what we’re going to do. That’s <em>all</em> we’re going to do. It’s all we can.”</p><p>            “He’d come to rescue me,” she said. She turned to Quincey. “I think he’d come to rescue you, too.”</p><p>            Gyu swallowed. “He <em>did</em> come to rescue me. Once.”</p><p>            “That’s different,” Jae protested. “That’s <em>Tora.</em> He’s a one-man army.”</p><p>            “I’m going,” said Poppy. “Whether any of you come or not.”</p><p>            “I’ll go,” Gyu said. “But you two have to stay here. He’ll never forgive me if I let you come.”</p><p>            “I’m not staying,” said Quincey, a shiver running down his back. “He’s <em>family.</em>”</p><p>            Poppy nodded along to Quincey’s words.</p><p>            “This is madness,” said Jae. “That’s a death wish. Have you been <em>watching</em>?”</p><p>            “Then don’t come,” Poppy said, her growl a weak imitation of Tora’s fiercest tone.</p><p>            “I didn’t say I was going to stay behind,” Jae said. “I just said it was <em>mad</em>.”</p><p>            “We can’t go in like we are,” said Quincey, pressing fingers against his closed eyes, thinking. “I have a bullet-proof vest. There’s probably one at T… at Tora’s place, too. Downstairs. I have a key.”</p><p>            “Then the two of you will wear them,” said Gyu. “Because if any of us make it through this hare-brained plan alive, Tora’s going to kill me n’ Jae for letting it happen.” Gyu stood up, the rifle in his hands. He tucked the butt against a shoulder, the muzzle pointed at the ground, his finger next to the trigger but not resting on it. His chin quivered, but he took a deep breath and calmed himself down.</p><p>            “Who knows how much time we have,” Gyu said, trying his best to sound brave. “Big bro’s waiting. <em>Let’s do this</em>.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Shatter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Martin gives Tora an ultimatum as Poppy and the others seek him out</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eek!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            There is only one prayer; it is not<br/>
            the knees in the clean nightgown<br/>
            on the hooked rug,<br/>
<em>            I want this, I want that.</em><br/>
            Oh far beyond.<br/>
            Call it <em>Please.</em> Call it <em>Mercy.</em><br/>
            Call it <em>Not yet, not yet,</em><br/>
            as Heaven threatens to explode<br/>
            inwards in fire and shredded flesh, and the angels caw.</p><p>                      <em>from</em> <strong>Half-Hanged Mary, Margaret Atwood</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>            Because in truth<br/>
            I am speaking now<br/>
            the way you do. I speak<br/>
            because I am shattered.</p><p>
  <em>                       from </em>
  <strong>The Red Poppy, Louis Glück</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>---</p><p>            Tora flitted in and out of consciousness on the warehouse floor. He couldn’t move his arms, and at first assumed they were broken or paralyzed, until he realized they were only handcuffed behind him. On the map of pain that littered his body, the metal cutting into him had not registered. He did not know when they had been put on.</p><p>            A folding metal chair in front of him; legs in his vision. Someone sitting there. Tora closed his eyes to blink and felt them open some immeasurable time later.</p><p>The legs were still there. Tora managed to crane his head up just long enough to see it was Martin. The older man’s hair was mussed, and his clothes were splotched with blood, but he smiled when he saw Tora looking at him.</p><p>            Even the act of <em>looking</em> hurt. The skin around his eyes was swollen and aching. Tora’s head fell back down against the earth. Darkness.</p><p>He woke to fire in his side as Martin gently prodded his ribcage. Tora gritted his teeth and did not cry out.</p><p>            “That was impressive, back there,” Martin said. “I have to admit, I thought your reputation was a little blown out of proportion. I was wrong.”        </p><p>            “What do you want, asshole?” Tora wheezed, his voice faint.</p><p>            “The stories about how Vincent trained you. Are they true?”</p><p>            Tora groaned and closed his eyes. Unconsciousness began to claim him again until Martin once again prodded at his ribs.</p><p>            “While you’re lying here, I’ll let you think this over: it would be easy to kill you now. If you’re still Vincent’s dog, I’ll have you shot like one.” Martin stood up from the chair. “But the Balthuman line is ending, Tora. If I were in your shoes, I’d think about finding another hand to lick.”</p><p>            His feet moved out of view. Unconsciousness claimed Tora again.</p><p>            “Claude. Watch him,” said Martin. “If he starts to die, call for help.”</p><p>            “He’ll never turn on Vincent.”</p><p>            Martin patted Claude on the shoulder.</p><p>            “If he was trained to heel once, he can be trained again.”  The Tiger of Ares street had killed a number of Martin’s men and wounded countless others in the battle to subdue him. The cost would be worth it, if Martin could turn such a weapon to his own purposes.</p><p>            Claude settled into the chair, crossing one leg over the other and smirking down at the helpless man on the ground. He’d once vowed revenge for pain that Tora had caused him, but the Tiger had always been out of his reach.</p><p>            “Bad night, Tora?” Claude drawled, leaning over to dig a finger into the darkening, inflamed skin around one of Tora’s eyes. “You aren’t <em>looking</em> so good.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Every entrance to Ares street was blocked off by lines of police in riot gear and a flood of cars with flashing lights. Each time the police came into view, Jae reversed the car and spun it around to drive away, hoping they looked like civilians who’d just taken a wrong turn and were happy to flee.</p><p>            Gyu sat in the front passenger seat, hurriedly tapping at his phone.</p><p>            “Over a rooftop?” Jae suggested, leaning forward as he drove to scan the horizon.</p><p>            “Sewers. That’s the safest bet. Hold on. I’ll find a map. Fuck, I hate trying to do this from a phone,” Gyu muttered. Then, a moment later: “East 50<sup>th</sup> and Willow. That’s where we go under.”</p><p>            They parked and waited for the street to clear. Jae lifted the manhole cover with a grunt and shooed them inside one by one, weapons held in armpits as they slipped down the rusty ladder and into darkness. Gyu went first and flipped on the flashlight on his phone, scanning up and down the sewer. The slushy water was ankle-deep, but often went higher, if the scum of algae along the walls was any indicator. Down in the belly of the city, their voices echoed oddly. The air tasted like stale despair and car exhaust.</p><p>            “We pass the first five openings. Turn left at the intersection. Pass seven more. Turn right, then up the first ladder. Help me count. I have no service down here for GPS,” Gyu warned.</p><p>            “High stakes life or death adventure, fine,” said Quincey, gingerly picking his way down the tunnel and plugging his nose. “But <em>this</em>? If we get Tora out alive, <em>this</em> I will hold against him.”</p><p>            “When,” said Poppy. “<em>When</em> we get him out.”</p><p>            “Just be glad for the drought, or we’d be up to our knees,” said Jae.</p><p>            Poppy held a handgun, the others agreeing that a rifle might be too cumbersome for her. Jae had gone over the most basic basics with her as quickly as he could. <em>I should have let Tora teach me, like he wanted</em>. <em>When this is—over, I’ll ask him to.</em></p><p>            She was swimming in a giant bullet-proof vest, the thick and heavy fabric weighing her down as she sloshed through the water. Poppy bent her face to the vest and tried desperately to smell any hint of the man who owned it, but it was long unused. A faint hint of cigarette smoke clung to it, like the rest of his possessions. That, at least, was something. The idea that it had once cradled his torso was another. <em>Hurry</em>, she silently urged her companions, willing them to pick up the pace.</p><p>            When they came up the ladder, Jae insisted on going first; he was the most experienced of them in violence. The man climbed as high as he could without lifting the manhole, then raised his rifle and put his back to the heavy metal cover. He inched it up slowly, eyes searching, gun muzzle sweeping the street. Nothing. Turned. Nothing.</p><p>            Jae pushed the cover off. The gunshots that rang across Ares street, muffled and distorted in the tunnel, were deafeningly loud above the ground.</p><p>            “Quick,” Jae hissed, and reached in to pull them out one by one. Those who emerged first stood guard before they all sprinted to flatten against the wall of a giant, windowless, concrete building. Poppy felt as exposed as a bug pinned beneath a microscope. The air was metallic with blood and rank with fear.</p><p>            The alley was empty, but not immune to eyes; a group of men sprinted past on the street outside, legs pumping. One sprawled as a stray bullet caught him; he fired back over his shoulder, rolled, and began to run with an arm hanging limp.</p><p><em>            Tora. Think of Tora</em>, Poppy told herself as the urge to vomit rose in her throat. <em>You can be sick later. There’s no time now.</em></p><p>            The brightness on his phone turned all the way down and his rifle resting upright against his shoulder, Gyu zoomed in on the map on his phone.</p><p>            “This way to the loading dock,” he hissed. They ran to the corner, and Gyu peered cautiously around it.</p><p>            A man with bloody hands leaned next to the delivery door, uzi strapped loosely across his chest and cigarette dangling from his lips. The door was propped open an inch by a brick, to stop it locking behind the guard.</p><p>            Gyu shot on sight.</p><p>            The bullet missed. The man wheeled and brought up the gun.</p><p>            Bullets sprayed like hellfire as Gyu dove back, ramming into Quincey and narrowly avoiding having his body riddled with holes.</p><p>            Jae tugged both of them back. Flattening onto his stomach, he inched his eyes just past the corner of the building and landed a face shot.</p><p>            “Clear,” he said. The alleyway was otherwise empty.</p><p>             Jae leapt back up and ran to the edge of the delivery door. Standing with his back to the wall as the others streamed around the corner, he counted to three, then spun and crouched so he was at eye level with the open inch. He shifted from side to side, sweeping as wide a range of the room as he could.</p><p>            Gyu took the machine gun from the dead man and slung it over his back. Poppy diligently did not look at the body. She stared behind them, telling herself she was keeping watch, not avoiding the horror of it.</p><p>            “Gyu,” Jae hissed. “Door.” Jae swept his gun left and right as the garage loading door swung up on its tracks. The room was empty apart from stacks of cardboard boxes, but that entry room was small compared to the size of the building they were in. A windowless door sat at its back.</p><p>            Jae nodded, and they all leapt up through the garage door, which had been built at a height for trucks to back up against. Quincey helped Poppy inside; the jump was higher for her than for the others. Gyu ran the garage door back down onto the brick.</p><p>            There was no way to get a clear sweep of the room beyond the door without going through it. Tall shelves blocked every view. Jae eased the door back closed and turned over his shoulder.</p><p>            “We stick together. Check <em>every corner</em> before you turn. Keep your back to the wall so they don’t get the jump on us.”</p><p>            The other three nodded.</p><p>            At first the great room seemed empty, but as they came to the first corner Jae signaled a halt. He lunged and shot. Someone fell with a shout, out of Poppy’s view.</p><p>            And then the bullets began to fly.</p><p>            They advanced slowly. Gyu and Jae kept the lead. Quincey and Poppy had yet to fire their guns, but Jae had to pause to feed more ammo into his rifle while Gyu stood watch at the corner.</p><p>            Then footsteps were coming, and they could see the men firing at them, and Poppy and Quincey were no longer hiding behind a corner.</p><p>            A bullet slammed into the vest Poppy wore, punching her back like a kick from a horse. She lost her breath and brought up her gun as another bullet hit the vest, slamming her backwards again as her head snapped. <em>Whiplash</em>, she thought, feeling like a cold observer watching it happen in a movie. Then it was over; Gyu had dropped the man. Turning to thank him, Poppy noticed with a grim clarity—she had no emotions right now; adrenaline had taken over her body as the bullets began to fly—that his leg was bleeding. Gyu didn’t seem to have noticed yet.</p><p>            They cleared the final shelf.</p><p>            Claude Lang crouched on the ground, holding a pistol to Tora’s unconscious head. The adrenaline was not enough to prevent Poppy’s insides from shattering at the sight of his motionless, bloody body. Claude yanked Tora’s limp head up by the hair, pressing the pistol against one ear.</p><p>            “I’d <em>love</em> a reason to shoot,” said the former lieutenant of the Balthuman clan. “Drop your weapons.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Other Than Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Poppy makes a deal with the devil.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CONTENT WARNING!!!: I apologize for the spoiler but feel I need to share that this chapter, while not severe enough to merit adding a non-con tag, does include some undesired physical contact.</p><p>For anyone frustrated by the multi-chapter dry spell, please look forward to the next chapter as I have ~things~ planned &gt;:)</p><p>Also, questions for anybody willing to answer??<br/>1. I am digging matching up poems to chapters but I know a lot of people dislike poetry: is it distracting or okay? Be honest, I won't be hurt!</p><p>2. Poppy feelings????</p><p>3. Too cheesy at the end?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>I took seven roads to get here<br/>
&amp; almost died three times.</p><p>
  <em>  . . .</em>
</p><p>Your name untied</p><p>Every knot in my body</p><p>            <em>from </em><strong>Providence, Yusef Komunyakaa</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>Hush, beloved. It doesn’t matter to me<br/>
how many summers I live to return:<br/>
this one summer we have entered eternity.<br/>
I felt your two hands<br/>
bury me to release its splendor.</p><p>
  <em>            from </em>
  <strong>The White Lilies, Louis Glück</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> ---</strong>
</p><p>“Please,” Poppy said, her voice soft and fervent. She knelt on the ground and placed the handgun next to her. Then she pulled the bulletproof vest over her head, hoping this vulnerability would lower Claude’s guard. She raised her hands over her head. “<em>Please</em>, let me come to him. If only to say goodbye.”</p><p>            Claude thought about it. Then he smirked, envisioning a whole new level of pain he could cause Tora without violating Martin’s orders. He nodded.</p><p>            “Thank you.” Poppy drew herself slowly to her feet. Gyu, Jae, and Quincey watched with bated breath as she walked towards Tora and Claude. Once there, she lowered herself almost reverently onto her knees. Tora was curled on his side and facing away from her. Pain had pulled his legs in, folding his 6 foot 3 into a shape she could run her hand over without having to move.</p><p>She touched his shoulder, inches away from where Claude pressed a gun against his head, and then ran her other hand slowly down the length of his broken body, tears leaking out of her eyes.</p><p>            “Tora,” Poppy whispered. “Tora, can you hear me? Love?” He didn’t move.</p><p>            Her hand reached his ankle and her lips parted in surprise. To cover it, she bent over and kissed the side of his torso, but didn’t move her hand.</p><p>            Unmistakably, there was a knife strapped to Tora’s ankle. They had neglected to search him. He must have been unable to get to it in the fight.</p><p>The plan that came to Poppy’s mind was desperately reckless, but then, so was everything else that had happened.</p><p>            “Please,” she said, and leaned forward while tilting her head up towards Claude. Slowly, hesitating, she raised a hand from Tora’s shoulder and held it trembling in front of Claude. When Claude didn’t move to stop her, she rested it lightly against him and turned the full power of her wide, begging eyes on the monster before her. “I’ll do <em>anything </em>if you let him go.”</p><p>            He wasn’t supposed to kill Tora, anyways. He might as well get something else out of Martin’s orders.</p><p>            “He stays here no matter what. But you do what I want, and I won’t kill him.”</p><p>            “And my friends go free,” Poppy added. She couldn’t have Claude trying to keep an eye on them. She needed to control his focus for this plan to work.</p><p>            “No—” Quincey said, but Jae put a hand on his shoulder. He had noticed Poppy subtly raising Tora’s pant cuff, her eyes holding Claude’s, and seen a glint of metal sparkle under the harsh warehouse lights.</p><p>            “If they come back, he dies and so do you.”</p><p>            Poppy nodded, not breaking her gaze. Her hand against Claude’s chest trembled.</p><p>            “Get out,” said Claude. The three men backed up, hands in the air, but Poppy didn’t turn to see. She heard the retreat of footsteps.</p><p>Claude pushed Tora onto his back, on top of his handcuffed wrists; Poppy hurriedly withdrew her hand from his ankle before Claude could grow suspicious of it.</p><p>Certain that he could kill this soft and shaking woman easily if he needed to, Claude flicked on his gun’s safety and placed it behind him, within his reach and outside of hers. Claude’s hand fastened against the hand Poppy was pressing up against him. She bowed her head and trembled.</p><p>            “Wake up,” said Claude, and drove his knee into Tora’s side.</p><p>            Poppy let out a cry of pain. “You said…”</p><p>            “I wouldn’t kill him. That’s all.”</p><p>            Tora’s eyes flickered open, and then widened. He struggled and failed to sit up as Poppy gave a ragged sob, a tear falling onto him.</p><p>            “Someone came to bargain for your life,” said Claude. “I thought you might like to watch the <em>negotiations</em>.”</p><p>            “Poppy,” Tora cried softly. “No<em>. No.”</em></p><p>“It’s okay, Tora,” she said, and tilted her head back up to fasten her mouth softly on Claude’s. Tora’s body heaved, his eyes pinned wide as above him, his lover leaned into Claude and kissed him again.</p><p>            “<em>Poppy</em>,” Tora sobbed, filled with a helpless rage unlike anything he had ever known.</p><p>            “How does it feel to know it was her idea?” Claude said, as Poppy kissed Claude’s neck and used the motion to tilt Claude’s face towards Tora’s head, away from his feet.</p><p>            Her hand closed around the knife. She slowly drew it up to her side with another kiss.</p><p>            With every ounce of courage and love that she possessed, Poppylan Wilkes drove the point of the knife into Claude’s throat, splattering blood everywhere. Claude did not even have time to be surprised.</p><p>---</p><p>            The escape felt like a dream. Tora stumbled forward, held up on one side by Quincey and the other by Jae, hands still locked behind his back. Quincey and Jae had to swap rifles for handguns in their pockets, unable to handle the large guns while bracing Tora upright.</p><p>            Poppy tried to put the bulletproof vest over him. He couldn’t resist physically, but he could tell Jae to make Poppy put it on instead, and Jae obeyed. They moved as quickly as they could, but it was still like trying to run through molasses. Tora was unable to support his own weight, and Gyu was limping. His shirt had become a makeshift tourniquet around the shot leg.</p><p>            They made it out of the warehouse. It was on Gyu now to scope their way around the first corners, since Quincey and Jae couldn’t let go of Tora without the man falling and Poppy did not have the gunmanship to run point. The alley with the manhole was clear. Quincey and Jae went down first, with Tora sitting on the lip of the opening. Together, grunting under the weight, they supported him down the shaft into the sewer.</p><p>            A bullet whizzed by overhead as a half dozen men raced around from the back of the warehouse.</p><p>            “Get inside!” Gyu shouted at Poppy, and loosed a furious spray of bullets from the machine gun he’d taken from their first corpse, sweeping across the line of men. Poppy practically fell down the ladder, hands and feet slipping frantically from one rung down to the next. She waited for Gyu to come down; the riot of bullets broke off and he half-fell into the manhole, Poppy doing her best to catch him. They raced after the others, who had begun to jog immediately down the tunnel, knowing that even with support Tora was the slowest moving of the group.</p><p>            “<em>Poppy</em>?”  Tora called, unable to look behind him and check what the sudden explosion of gunshots had meant.</p><p>            “Right behind you,” she said.</p><p>            “Turn ahead,” Gyu shouted a reminder, as behind them a chorus of new voices entered the underground pipeline, feet splashing into the water. Gyu let loose a spray of bullets again. In the tight chamber of the sewer, the noise was so loud that they all thought their heads would burst. It would be long minutes before any of them could hear a noise other than ringing.</p><p>            Poppy glanced over her shoulder to see Gyu had fallen behind and was struggling to drag himself one-legged down the tunnel. She sprinted back to him and looped his arm around her shoulder. They hurried to catch up.</p><p>            In the car at last, Jae accelerating fast and whipping around the corner, Poppy pulled Tora’s head down against her with trembling hands and began to sob. The nightmare was over.</p><p>---</p><p>            How strange it was that just that morning, she had gotten dressed and gone to work. That just that evening, she had been dining in a nice restaurant and smiling in bliss at the man who had right then become her boyfriend. That just after, they had attacked each other’s bodies with passion. Surely it was a different lifetime than the nightmare that came after. Impossible, to be one day.</p><p>            Poppy fell asleep lying next to Tora, hand in hand as the doctor tended to him. Jae had skilfully picked the lock on the handcuffs on their arrival, and Tora had cried out involuntarily as his locked muscles contorted as he pulled his arms apart. Now came the early hours of morning. Sunlight filtered through the blinds. The doctor woke her up when he was done to give her instructions. Her chin trembled as she listened and nodded along.</p><p>            Tora slept the next day as the bruises on his body ripened, turning his skin into a riotous sunset of color. None of them left Quincey’s apartment; the outside world was not safe for a Balthuman member. The clan was not extinguished, but the Ares street massacre had knocked it to its knees. Gyu slept on the couch; Jae on a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor. Tora and Poppy had the back bedroom.</p><p>            The events of the night, and the comradery of hiding in Quincey’s apartment, did something to the atmosphere. Poppy had barely known Quincey and not known either of the other men, but they felt like family. Poppy called Erdene asked if she could tell Gil that Poppy had the flu and could not work for at least a week, maybe more. Together they cooked and tended to each other and talked in soft voices around the memories none of them cared to replay.</p><p>            In an unspoken arrangement, Poppy was the only one to care for Tora. She kept track of his painkillers, and iced his body, and applied antibiotic ointment to the scrapes and the old knife wound that had reopened. She changed his bandages, and brushed his hair, and did her best to clean the fighting off him, though it was impossible to know what was bruise and what was blood. He said next to nothing, but his eyes kept resting on her with a tender sadness.</p><p>            They hovered around each other in an orbit, moths to a light, but they could hardly touch; his body was nothing but pain. His lip was split and two molars fractured; his nose had been broken and had to be reset in a painful crunch by the doctor. His ribs were either bruised or broken, a question that would be answered only by how quickly they healed.</p><p>            The second night, Poppy gasped up from a tormented sleep, fighting to suck air into her body. Her chest heaved and she let out a sob.</p><p>            “Sweetness?” Tora whispered.</p><p>            “Just a nightmare,” said Poppy, her hands shaking.</p><p>            “What about?”</p><p>            “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, and although she could not bury herself up against him, she lay close enough to just graze skin against skin. Time passed. They both lay awake, breathing against each other. Their hands tangled together, and Poppy ran her thumb along the edge of the bandage that covered his knuckles.</p><p>            “Poppy?” he asked. “How long left?”</p><p>            She checked her phone. The painkillers were strong and the doctor had cautioned her about dosage.</p><p>            “Three hours. It’s bad?”</p><p>            “Mm.”</p><p>            “What can I do?”</p><p>            “If you’re willing,” he said, and suggested where she could focus her affections.</p><p>            “You aren’t well enough,” said Poppy.</p><p>            “I’d like ta feel something other than pain,” Tora said. “And besides, they didn’t hit me there<em>. </em>Much, anyways.”</p><p>---</p><p>            If sex was an expression, each iteration held its own meaning and left its own mark. There was sex for power and dominance. Sex for passion, sex for desire. Sex even for boredom and sex for curiosity.</p><p>            What passed between them that night had nothing to do with lust or even pleasure, despite the overpowering attraction each held for the other. What passed between them that night was two things, and two things only: love, and comfort.</p><p>            Poppy straddled him, taking his length into herself as she held her body weight off him as well as she could, and moved slowly so as to not jar him, and they stared into each other’s eyes as Tora’s hand reached out to wrap around hers. She rose and lowered herself as fear and tension fell away. It was the closest they had been able to get physically, since the aftermath.</p><p>            The level of tenderness and understanding might have been difficult to believe, in any other couple that had only begun to see each other a month before, and only taken on a label a few nights past. But Tora and Poppy had walked through fire and come out the other side. A test like that burned everything else away. Despite the fact that the night of the massacre had confirmed each one’s worst fears about the dangers of their love, neither spoke a word about leaving, or even thought it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Black Hole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora and Poppy take a shower together. Poppy gets unsolicited advice from Quincey.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks, dear readers; as always, I hunger to know what you think! Hopefully this was an enjoyable chapter!</p><p> </p><p>Edit (contains chapter spoilers):</p><p> it was pointed out to me that the gift poppy buys bares a huge resemblance to the toy mentioned in  "Savin' all her sinnin" by TheCurvedWritingDesk. Although this was completely unintentional I have really enjoyed reading that story and it must have gotten into my subconscious! I apologise for not giving credit off the bat, as I genuinely was unaware I was taking something. I would never purposely steal another author's ideas without credit and appreciate having had it pointed out to me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Touching your goodness, I am like a man<br/>
            Who turns a letter over in his hand<br/>
            And you might think this was because the hand<br/>
            Was unfamiliar but, in truth, the man<br/>
            Has never had a letter from anyone;<br/>
            And now he is both afraid of what it means<br/>
            And ashamed because he has no other means<br/>
            To find out what it says than to ask someone.<br/>
                        <em>from </em><strong>The Illiterate, William Meredith</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>            Because I felt too weak to move<br/>
            you kindly moved for me, keeling<br/>
            and turning<br/>
            . . .<br/>
            I cried, afraid for a moment<br/>
            I was dead, and had got my wish to come back,<br/>
            once, and sleep with you</p><p>
  <em>                       from </em>
  <strong>You Kindly, Sharon Olds</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> ---</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Day three. Tora braced one hand against the wall and one hand on Poppy’s shoulder as they hobbled together into the bathroom, two thick towels tucked under her arm. A scab had grown over the re-opened stab wound and he was finally permitted to shower.</p><p>            Tora was already shirtless; there was no point in struggling to get that garment on and off when all he was doing was resting in bed. But Poppy eased his sweatpants down his legs as Tora balanced his weight on the foot that hurt less, his other ankle throbbing from some blow or twist or trip that he could not remember.</p><p>            He avoided looking at himself in the mirror. He knew he looked like hell. The red bruises that had covered him were darkening, mottling his skin with purple and black. Thin red lines and patches were the scabs of small cuts and scraped skin.</p><p>            The woman who had plunged herself into darkness and danger to save his life reached out and twisted a knob, starting a cascade of water. Without turning to him she lifted her own shirt off her back, and then the rest of her clothing went as well.</p><p>            Tora’s eyes lingered on the alluring curve of hip, the cascade of hair down her back. Her spine was a line he yearned to trace, ending with two soft dimples before swelling into the roundness of her ass.</p><p>            He was getting stronger, strong enough that he could have held himself upright in the shower. But that simple act would not have left him with a hand to use the soap, and the pain he would have felt in trying to reach all over his body would have left him gasping like a fish.</p><p>            <em>Sooner’r later she’ll get tired</em>, Tora thought. <em>Waiting hand n’ foot on a grown-ass man. </em></p><p>            She was too much. She had done too much. Coming to save him. Risking her life. Tenderly cleaning his wounds. Feeding him. Keeping him sane. He loved her touch more than anything, but wished he could push her away, say: <em>I’ve got it</em>. For a man whose life was defined by strength, the weakness that clung to him felt like death. <em>Maybe she stays ‘cuz she’s too nice ta leave ya sorry ass while ya still so useless.</em></p><p>            He knew that wasn’t true. He thought that wasn’t true. But the voice in his head was cruel and unforgiving. It always had been.</p><p>            Poppy guided him through the shower door and into the stream of water, where he hissed and winced.</p><p>            “Fucking <em>ice</em>,” he complained, and she sighed.</p><p>            “Sorry, sweet. Doctor’s orders.”</p><p>            He shivered under the cold stream of water, each drop feeling like a nail being hammered into his bruises, knowing she was right. His skin was swollen, darkened from the inside with blood. Heat would make it worse.</p><p>            He knew she was injured, too, but it wasn’t until he leaned against the wall and really looked at her that he saw the extent of it. She had been naked earlier in the room they shared, but not illuminated by the bright light that hung above Quincey’s shower.</p><p>            Poppy stood with her eyes closed and her head tilted back, letting the stream of water fall over her chest. Cold droplets rained onto her and traced their way down her body, and Tora had to force his eyes away from her perky, hardening nipples to inspect the less pleasant parts:</p><p>           On one shoulder, above the breast, a bruise to rival one of his own. Another lower, where hip curved into side. The marks left from the impact of deflected bullets.</p><p>            “Are ya okay? Looks painful,” he whispered.</p><p>            She opened her eyes and smiled. “You’re one to talk. I’m fine.”</p><p>            <em>Thank bloody hell for tha vest. </em>He made a mental note that she should have one in her own size, just in case. <em>Not that I’m ever lettin’ her in danger like that again.</em></p><p>            Poppy reached for the shampoo. He bowed his head down to her at her gentle urging and released a sigh as her hands softly massaged his tender skull, working his hair into a lather. Then she took a bar of soap and moved behind him, starting with his broad shoulders. Her touch was light and tender, skimming the sudsy bar across him in circles and lines that reached every inch of his back and his arms.</p><p>            She reached a hand softly around to his front, enclosing him in a delicate hold. It hurt, but he said nothing. Her warmth was bliss against the cold rain of the shower.</p><p>            Poppy came around to his front and began there, avoiding the knife wound carefully but running the soap over well-defined abs, over tattoos that crawled off his shoulders and partway down his front.  She reached down and ran the soap up his thighs. Despite the frigid water his dick had been steadily stiffening as she ran her hands over his naked body. It swayed now with a life of its own, eager and bobbing, and she playfully ran the bar of soap around his girth, then up and down the length.</p><p>            Tora moaned, and Poppy set the soap back on its shelf, the washing of his legs forgotten as she encircled him and rubbed her hands up and down his length. Tora’s arms shivered as he held himself up. Pleasure tugged at him and he thought he might lose his balance, collapse into her. Poppy tugged harder at him before falling to her knees and taking him into her mouth.</p><p>            He looked down. The spray of water attacked her face and she squeezed her eyes shut against it as she ran her mouth enthusiastically up and down him. Tora shifted, leaning a screaming shoulder against the wall so he could free one hand. Slowly, muscles protesting, he brought it to the side of her head and rested it against her wet locks of hair, blocking the worst of the spray from her eyes.</p><p>            Then his own eyes shivered shut.</p><p>            The patter of water. His low moans. No other sound.</p><p>            The cold shower on his skin. Her hot breath wrapped around him. No other feeling.</p><p>            He came quickly and without warning, Poppy’s mouth stilling as he emptied into her. She rose to her feet and found a part of his torso without a bruise, and kissed him there.</p><p>            He lifted her face and kissed her as stars of pain exploded behind his eyes at the mashing of his split lip. Poppy pulled away at his hiss of pain and took up the bar of soap again, but he would not let her crouch down to wash his legs. His hand fell to the tangle of hair between her legs and searched there. He began to move his fingers against her, but pain lanced through his muscles. What small movements a finger made. But how an injury revealed the connection of tendons as his little movements against her surged through his arm in pain that worsened with every caress.</p><p>            Something gave it away in his contorted face or labored breathing, and Poppy moved away from him, shaking.</p><p>            “Don’t, Tora,” she said, and guided his hand back up to the wall so he could support himself better, as she finally bent to run the soap over his muscled thighs and calves. Guilt surged through him, racking his body.</p><p>            Poppy took the showerhead off the wall and rinsed him from the crown of his head to his toes before turning off the water. The cold stopped, and the sensation of pounding nails. She began to pat him softly dry with a towel, but stopped when she saw that tears were leaking through his shut eyes.</p><p>            “Tora?” Poppy whispered, her hands and voice faltering.</p><p>            He said nothing, wouldn’t look at her. Didn’t want to see the look on her face. After a long silence, Poppy finished drying him off and guided him to his pants, pulling them gently up around him.</p><p>            Wasn’t there <em>anything </em>he could do for himself? Wasn’t there anything he could do for <em>her</em>? Take, take, take, from this woman who deserved nothing but to be spoiled and cherished. Didn’t she know she was hurling her love straight into a black hole that swallowed everything and gave nothing back?</p><p>            He hobbled with her back to the room, where she guided him to the bed. The sheets were clean; Jae and Quincey had done the kindness of changing them while Tora and Poppy showered. She let him sink into the soft mattress.</p><p>            “Talk to me,” she said.</p><p>            He shook his head.</p><p>            “Tora, talk to me.”</p><p>            “I don’t know how to put it in words,” he grated at last. Talking about emotion was one thing he had never been taught to do.</p><p>            “Then just try your best,” she offered, “and if you get it wrong, you can try again.”</p><p>            A pause as he turned his feelings over in his head, trying, for her sake and hers alone, to translate them to speech.</p><p>            “I don’t feel like a man,” he said at last.</p><p>            “You’re the manliest man I know,” she said.</p><p>            “Not now I’m not. Ya… you’re doing everything for me. I can’t even walk to take a piss without ya help. And I can’t even touch you. Can’t so fucking much as… as bring you one goddamned small piece of pleasure.” He ground his hand against the bed and refused to look at her.</p><p>            “Tora. Hey. It’ll <em>pass</em>.”</p><p>            “I want to hold ya. <em>Touch ya</em>. Do something for ya. Anything.” His voice was rising in frustration.</p><p>            “Telling me how you feel <em>is</em> something. For me, more than enough.” Her hand was warm against his. Her voice calm against his breaking tone. “And being with you is more th…than a small pleasure.”</p><p>            “I’m in love with you, Poppylan,” Tora said softly. “And this wasn’t how it was supposed ta go.”</p><p>            “Tora.” Her voice was breaking now too. “I’m in love with you, too. And I will wait as long as it takes this to pass.”</p><p>            They had expressed the feeling in a thousand actions and looks over the past days; called each other <em>love</em> without thinking about it. But never said the full words, never heart-to-heart confessed them. They both knew already, but saying it made it feel concrete.</p><p>            Even this was tainted, Tora thought. Joy bubbled in his heart but died on his lips, which wanted nothing more than to kiss her, and could not. <em>This’ll pass. Like she said</em>, he told himself against the frustration he felt. <em>An’ I’ll find a way to pay her back. Even if it means takin’ my whole life ta do so.</em></p><p>            That wasn’t, after all, such a bad thought.</p><p>---</p><p>            Poppy crept out of Tora’s room, seeking a moment of privacy. Jae stood in the kitchen, washing dishes as his head bobbed up and down to the hard music leaking out from his headphones. Gyu was in the living room, bandaged leg propped up on a chair as he slowly blew bubbles of gum and tapped his fingers furiously against a video game controller.</p><p>           The floor where Jae had slept on pillows and blankets was clear, the bedding neatly folded in a corner of the room. Poppy smiled to herself. Nobody had said a word last night when Jae had quietly slipped into Quincey's room after dinner. Everybody was looking for a little comfort, right now.</p><p>           Poppy looked at the TV screen and shuddered, not understanding how Gyu could possibly play a shooter game after what they had lived through. Maybe it brought some odd peace, she thought, staring in grim fascination as he aimed and shot, aimed and shot, taking out snipers with a cool precision from the wall his character crouched behind.</p><p>            Quincey was nowhere to be seen. He must have been in his room. Trying to keep her expression cool and neutral, Poppy settled into the farthest chair from Gyu and brought her phone up to her face. She didn’t want Tora to know what she was doing.</p><p>            She nibbled on a bottom lip as she scrolled and tried to figure out how much money she could spend. Over the past month, she’d barely bought groceries. Tora had picked up the bill again and again wherever they went, flatly saying things like <em>“sit ya broke ass back down” </em>or <em>“Ya can pay me back tonight, if ya know what I mean”</em> with a wink and a wolfish grin. So she had something to spend, at least.</p><p>            “Oh, honey, no,” a voice breathed over her shoulder, startling Poppy up with a yelp as her phone surged out of her grasp and she lunged to catch it. Quincey had come up behind her like a cat. Poppy’s face burned red from chin to temple, but the blonde man didn’t seem to notice.</p><p>            “Trust me, you want the new model. <em>Far</em> more features,” he said.</p><p>            She turned over her shoulder to stare at him. </p><p>            “What? I like to read the reviews. <em>Very</em> steamy,” Quincey said, and placed his elbows on the back of the chair. “Good idea, by the way. He’ll like it.”</p><p>            “Thank you for this <em>supremely awkward conversation</em>,” Poppy choked out. “<em>Good day, sir.” </em>She scuttled away to the bathroom, the one space she could occupy alone, and knocked her forehead against the wall with a groan before looking down. After a moment of shame and consideration she took Quincey’s advice, then completed the check-out page on the screen in front of her.</p><p>            The next day they lay resting on the bed when Quincey knocked, opened the door an inch, and lobbed a small package at Poppy. She reached and missed as Quincey winked and slammed the door shut. Poppy collected it from where it had fallen off the far edge of the bed.</p><p>            “You buy something, Bobby?” Tora asked, not pausing the movie he’d been watching on his phone. It rested against his bent legs.</p><p>            “For you,” she said, and his eyebrows rose at the strawberry flush that was spreading across her cheeks. He paused the movie.</p><p>            She opened the box with the address and <em>EXPRESS SHIPPING</em> stamp. Inside was another box, illustrated, colorful, and labeled. She opened that, too, and placed an object into his palm.</p><p>            Tora looked down at it. An unbalanced neon-blue U, one side curving longer and thicker than the other. “What?” He glanced at the box. “A… vibrator?”</p><p>            Poppy swallowed. “If you don’t like it or think it’s stupid or whatever it’s okay!” she said, her words running together, speaking quickly in embarrassment. “I <em>know</em> it probably seems like I just bought it for me and not you but, but I thought maybe… it’s just, I was thinking about yesterday, and you said the thing about, about, um, not pleasuring me or being able to do anything, and how that made you feel, right? So…”</p><p>            He turned it over in his fingers and blinked.</p><p>            “Um, it’s remote,” she finished, her voice high pitched. “You can control it. From an app.”</p><p>            Tora’s eyes widened.</p><p>            “<em>Ni-iice</em>,” he purred, and flipped immediately to download it on his phone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. "Nice?"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora tells Poppy just what he wants. Afterwards, a surprise visitor makes an entrance.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. Please know that if you commented (ever), even if I don't respond, I definitely got super excited as I repeatedly refreshed my browser in a hungry desire for attention and I probably read your comment fifteen times, and I am a sad lil' fool who's as hungry for feedback as Tora is for that pu--I, I mean that Poppy. (cough cough).</p><p>2. Because I always see it suggested and 100% agree, it is officially canon to this fanfiction that the music Poppy put on was Lana Del Rey, unless you hate Lana Del Rey, in which case, it is something different.</p><p>3. I think I remember Lilydusk posting their signs on a patreon comment and if anybody remembers what they were so I can keep things canon please let me know 🤦 I had a birthday idea and am not sure where in the story timeline it's supposed to fall /endspoiler</p><p>4. For everyone asking the device does not necessarily exist but was inspired by combining online reviews from the we-vibe sync and the lelo ora 2. It was pointed out to me that it also bears a close resemblance to a toy mentioned in the "savin' all her sinning" story by thecurvedwritingdesk, which was completely unintentional but I apologise as it must have gotten into my subconscious. Sorry everyone :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>           There was a woman<br/>
           I made love to and I remembered how, holding<br/>
           her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,<br/>
           I felt a violent wonder at her presence<br/>
           like a thirst for salt<br/>
                       <em>from </em><strong>Meditation at Lagunitas, Robert Hass</strong></p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>            Tora displayed his eagerness not through speed, but through preparation. There was a little instruction booklet in the box, and he read it not once, but twice. Then he held the thing in his hand and fiddled with the app, adjusting first one control, then the other, and feeling how the device twitched and purred and thrummed against him.</p><p>            It was very quiet. Silent, really. It occurred to him that if she wore it in public and he turned it on, nobody would know, but that was a thought for some future time. Poppy had so far been strictly averse to doing anything in public, though the idea made him feel hot excitement.</p><p>            “I sort of thought you’d want to put it <em>in</em> me, not just hold it,” Poppy teased as he spun a dial up, then down, then up again.</p><p>            His eyes flickered to her, then back to his phone.     </p><p>            “I wanna know what it’s doin’ inside ya,” he explained. “Just <em>give</em> me a moment, will ya?”</p><p>            He thought he had the hang of it.</p><p>            On top of the screen, two ‘checkboxes:’ one for each end of the U. They could be turned on at the same time or run separately.</p><p>            Beneath, one dial that controlled speed, and one dial that controlled the intensity of the vibration.</p><p>            Beneath, three more boxes. These could be selected only one at a time and changed the type of the movement. The first was a steady, pulsing beat. The second, a rumble that built to a crescendo, dropped abruptly, and built again. The third affected only the smaller end of the U, which he gathered was meant to rest against her clit. That was a sort of rubbing motion, a little nub under the device’s skin that ran in a small circle. It had startled him the first time he realized it moved.</p><p>            “Okay,” Tora said at last with a nod.</p><p>            Poppy reached a hand out to take it from him, and he closed his hand against it with a ‘tsk.’</p><p>            “Not so fast,” Tora said, his eyes glinting. “Put on some music, Bobby.”</p><p>            “You want music?” she asked, her thinking stuck a step behind him.</p><p>            “No. But you’re gonna want it when I make ya scream my name… unless ya <em>want</em> the guys to hear.”</p><p>            Poppy’s eyes widened. “Nope. On it,” she said. “Any requests?”</p><p>            “Yeah, move ya ass a lil’ faster,” he said.</p><p>            “Says the man who just spent fifteen minutes getting ready,” Poppy muttered, trying to pick something out on her phone.</p><p>            “Ya mean, ‘the man who jus’ spent fifteen minutes thinkin’ about how ta fuck ya?’” Tora said, narrowing his eyes at her.</p><p>            He watched like a starving wolf as a shiver of anticipation stole down her spine. A singer whose words always made her think of him was crooning at full volume.</p><p>            Poppy crawled to him and reached out a hand for the vibrator again.</p><p>            “Did I say ya could?” Tora asked, his voice silky and cold. “Uh-uh. I’ll tell ya when, Bobby. Now take off ya shirt for me.”</p><p>            She ripped it off quickly, eyes fixed on him, her mouth pouting a little by accident.</p><p>            “Look at ya, in such a hurry. Pants now.”</p><p>            She unbuttoned her jeans and shoved them off.</p><p>            “Bra.”</p><p>            She took it off and started to remove her panties.</p><p>            “Nope. I didn’t tell ya to,” he said, and she stopped with a groan.</p><p>            Tora thought about it for a moment. That <em>was </em>what he’d been about to ask of her, but now he needed something else. “Make ya nipples hard,” he said at last with a smirk, and Poppy blushed, but she pinched at herself and tugged a little until the rosy circles stood upright against her soft breasts.</p><p>            “<em>Now</em> the underwear,” Tora said. His sweatpants stood at attention, his cock raising them up above his legs.</p><p>            Poppy took off her panties and eyed his growing length.</p><p>            “Should I—”</p><p>            “No,” he said, cutting her off. “Ya gotta <em>earn</em> that pleasure, baby. Now put ya fingers between ya legs.”</p><p>            Kneeling on the bed, she did so.</p><p>            “Can ya sit back and spread your legs a little—yeah, like that. Good girl. Show me.”</p><p>            She circled her clit slowly, with uncertain fingers.</p><p>            “One hand on ya tits. Squeeze em’ for me, Poppy. Do ya need more time to get wet?” He wished he could just reach over and feel for himself, but it was undeniably hot to make her touch herself and to watch the flickering expressions of pleasure on her face.</p><p>            “It would help if I could see you,” she whispered, rubbing at herself and pinching at one of her nipples again, feeling embarrassed to have him look but pleased that he so clearly wanted to.</p><p>            “Seeing my cock makes ya wet?” he asked her, his voice heavy.</p><p>            “Uh-huh,” said Poppy.</p><p>            “Then take it out. But don’t touch it, Pops. That’s a reward ya haven’t earned yet.”</p><p>            “How do I earn it?” She asked, genuinely eager to feel him, as she inched the front of his waistband down and freed his full member.</p><p>            “Just do as I say, sweetheart,” Tora purred. “Put ya fingers inside that tight little pussy for me, will ya?”</p><p>            “Mmn,” said Poppy, her face flush as she slipped a finger inside and bit a lip.</p><p>            “How’s it feel?” Tora said.</p><p>            “Good.”</p><p>            “Describe it for me,” he said.</p><p>            “I don’t know how,” Poppy whined.</p><p>            “Aw, too bad. Guess ya better pull my pants back up.”</p><p>            “Seriously?” Poppy said, gasping a little as her fingers slicked in and out of her. She was wet, and getting wetter. She tried to focus on what her fingers felt. “Ung… I feel… like my lips are real… swollen, like… grabbing my fingers? And everything feels really… sensitive.”</p><p>            “How wet are ya?” He said with clenched teeth, trying to restrain his excitement at her words.</p><p>            “<em>Wet</em>,” she moaned.</p><p>            “Then go ahead an’ put it in,” Tora said, loosening his fingers from around the vibrator. Poppy took it from him with the hand that had been inside her, and he felt her wetness against his palm.</p><p>            “Poppy,” Tora said, a different desire suddenly occurring to him. “Can ya… put your finger in my mouth? I wanna taste ya.”</p><p>            She transferred the vibrator to her other hand, and lifted the damp finger to his lips. Tora opened his mouth and sucked on it gently, then let it return to her.</p><p>            “Put it in,” he rasped, watching her through heavy-lidded eyes, and turning his phone screen on.  </p><p>            She inserted it slowly, looking down at herself as she did so. Even that small act felt nice, though not by any means an overwhelming pleasure.</p><p>            “Poppy,” Tora said, as he made the little nub rub itself over her clit slowly. “Tell me how that feels.”</p><p>            “G…good,” she said. “Tora, what… do I do with my hands?”</p><p>            She was leaning back on them, her legs spread open and her pussy pointed at him. Her eyelids fluttered down and up again as the little bead worked circles around her own nub.</p><p>            “Leave ‘em where they are a moment,” said Tora, and sped it up a little. “Now?”</p><p>            “Still nice,” Poppy murmured.</p><p>            “<em>Nice?”</em></p><p>            He huffed, selected the buttons for the full device, and selected the crescendo. He pushed both dials as high as they could go; the vibrator jumped inside her and began to thrum hard and rapid.</p><p>            “Hhh—” Poppy gasped as her head sprang back and her back arched in surprise. Her pelvis rocked up a little.</p><p>            “<em>…‘Nice?’”</em> Tora repeated in drawn-out whisper.</p><p>            Poppy’s only answer was to moan. She rocked forward with the height of each vibration, her head still thrown back.</p><p>            “Look at me, when I talk to ya” he said. She lifted her head, her soft mouth parted in a pant, and gazed into his eyes with glazed-over eyes.</p><p>            Tora smiled. “Good girl,” he crooned, and softened both the dials before he turned back to the little nub. He built it up slowly, watching how her lips pursed, and split, and the huff of hot air that she blew out through her teeth, and her held-back moan.</p><p>            “How’s that feel?” Tora said.</p><p>            Poppy didn’t answer, but just kept breathing.</p><p>            He turned off all the functions and her hips dropped.</p><p>            “Hh… no, Tora…”</p><p>            “I said ta answer me, Poppy,” he said. “And ya didn’t.”</p><p>            “Start again and I will,” she begged.</p><p>            “Not that simple,” he said.</p><p>            “What do you want?” She panted and moved a hand to rock the device against herself manually.</p><p>            “Tell me how bad ya want it.”</p><p>            “Tora,” she whined. “Please don’t leave me hanging. It was getting so <em>goo—ood.”</em></p><p>            He unchecked the box for the section that rested on her clit, turned the speed and intensity as low as they went, and started a steady beat inside of her.</p><p>            “More,” Poppy begged.</p><p>            “Say my name again.”</p><p>            “Tora…”</p><p>            “Beg.”</p><p>            “Please. <em>Tora, please</em>. I need this.”</p><p>            He spun both dials up quickly and she collapsed backwards, pushing her hips up.</p><p>            “Grab those sweet tits again, Poppy,” Tora said. His cock was aching. He wanted her to take it in her hands or her mouth, but wanted to resist as long as he could and just focus on the things he was doing to her body. She squeezed herself and humped the open air. His lip twitched and he let out a groan.</p><p>            “What do ya like more, baby?” Tora asked, and flipped from the beat to the crescendo, then back again.</p><p>            “The one… that… builds…” she huffed. “But both…’r… good.”</p><p>            He checked the box for the section over her clit again, and she positively writhed.</p><p>            “Sit up, Poppy.”</p><p>            She didn’t.</p><p>            He turned it off again.</p><p>            “<em>No</em>,” she begged.</p><p>            “I told ya to listen ta me.”</p><p>            “I’m trying! But it’s hard, Tora!”</p><p>            “It <em>is</em> hard,” Tora purred. “Go ahead, Poppy. Prove ya want me.”</p><p>            She crawled between his legs; he spread them slowly so she wouldn’t have to worry about mashing herself against his bruises.</p><p>            Her breath was a hot exhale against him. Tora shifted his own hips expectantly up at her as Poppy grabbed him and put her mouth over him.</p><p>            He turned the device back on, and pushed both dials up a little higher to the max. She collapsed onto his cock, a moan vibrating out of her mouth and through his body.</p><p>            “Don’t stop,” Tora said, and watched as Poppy desperately tried to please him. Every other stroke of her lips was a cry or a moan; her hips moved on their own, rubbing down against the bed. It was hard to get a good view of her like that, past her head.</p><p>            “On ya knees,” he told her. “Let me see that sexy ass a' yours.”</p><p>            He switched to the rotating nub, making the intensity lighter but keeping the speed high. She moaned again and rose her back half up into the air like he asked.</p><p>            Poppy pulled up off his cock and rested a moment, breathing hard.</p><p>            “Aaah… unh… ah… ah… ugnnnn…” escaped from her lips as she pressed her hips back against nothing, trying to feel the movement more intensely.</p><p>            “…I didn’t tell you to stop, did I?” Tora asked, and she cried out and wrapped her lips around him again, moving her head fast as if begging him not to turn off the device.</p><p>            “Unhh,” Tora said, his eyes closing. “<em>So good</em>, Poppy.” She kept going.</p><p>            When he felt himself reaching a peak, he said: “Poppy. I wanna come on ya tits. Is that okay?”</p><p>            She rose her head up. “You can do whatever you want to me,” she told him.</p><p>            “Then just use ya hands. Lie down next to me.”</p><p>            She pulled herself up and over his leg to lie next to Tora. Slowly, achingly, he rolled onto his side and emptied himself onto her chest.</p><p>            For a moment, as pleasure rocked over him, he couldn’t move. At last he switched back to the crescendo on his phone, turning it all the way up and watching her with pleased, sleepy eyes.</p><p>            Poppy lay on her side beside him, cum dripping off of her, whining and moving her hips against the vibrations between her legs.</p><p>            “<em>Tora</em>,” she murmured.</p><p>            “Yes?” He asked.</p><p>            “<em>Tora…</em> Tora…”</p><p>            “That’s right, darling. Say my name.”</p><p>            With a final cry, Poppy’s back bent her away from him as an intense pleasure coursed through her body.</p><p>            “Shoot,” Poppy said a few minutes later, sitting up and trying to stop the rest of his cum from sliding off her with her hands. “Um, we don’t have anything to clean up with, do we?”</p><p>            “Just use one of my shirts,” Tora suggested.</p><p>            He closed his eyes, content, as she wiped herself off and took out the vibrator and laid down naked beside him.</p><p>            “What did you think?” He said.</p><p>            “I liked how you talked to me,” she admitted. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what to do, so it was… kind of nice being bossed around a little.”</p><p>            “Of the vibrator, though? How’d it feel?”</p><p>            “A nice substitute. Nothing compares to having you in me. But even when we’re back to normal, I’d…still do this again.”</p><p>            “’kay. Sounds good to me.”</p><p>            “What about for you? Did you… feel better?”</p><p>            He opened his eyes and laughed a little. “Shit. Yeah. It was a good idea. I really, <em>really</em> like makin’ ya squirm.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Poppy put on her clothes and snuck to the bathroom to clean herself off, then returned. They chatted for some time, talking about nothing and everything. Tora took his pain medication. Poppy showed him a picture from a painter she liked. Tora put on a band she said she’d never heard of. It was nice, being able to just relax on the bed like normal people. They did not talk about gunshots, or pain, or the fact that Poppy had killed someone. For blissful moments, neither of them even thought about it, but instead just talked eagerly and occasionally laughed.</p><p>            There was noise in the rest of the apartment, new voices that Tora recognized instantly with a lurch. He tensed involuntarily.</p><p>            “Tora?” Poppy said when his chin went stiff and he swallowed.</p><p>            “Fuck. My boss is here,” he told her. He turned his head to look at her and said, softly, hurriedly: “Don’t talk unless he talks to ya, Poppy. And <em>don’t </em>hesitate to obey him, for even a second. <em>I don’t care what he asks</em>. Do not look him in the eyes.”</p><p>            She was taken aback; her eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>            “If you say so,” Poppy said, confused and hurt, and then there was a knock on the door. It swung open to reveal a man in a luxurious tan suit, his white hair combed back, his icey blue eyes perfect replica’s of Quincey’s. Poppy was confused; he looked like a kind old man compared to the instructions Tora had just given.</p><p>            The man took in the room in a glance, the small woman lying on the bed next to the beaten and bruised warrior.</p><p>            Vincent Balthuman smiled, and though it should have been a kind gesture, Poppy was suddenly filled with a cold understanding as her instinct responded with an internal whimper. He looked like a cat that was about to play with a mouse.</p><p>            “Pardon me, dear,” Quincey’s father said to her sweetly. “I’d like to speak with Tora alone.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Tigers of His Own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora receives new instructions and begins to mend.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Is Vincent over the top, or what?? Has he lost his mind? Wonder what he's planning.... 🤔😘</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>wandering obscurity<br/>
revealed my heritage:<br/>
monster, I lack immortality,<br/>
my race is superfluous on earth.<br/>
The last, the final generation<br/>
—after me no other, or someone else—<br/>
I lay down on top of death.<br/>
            <em>from </em><strong>Family History, Irving Feldman</strong></p><p> </p><p>I have shown you what you want:<br/>
not belief, but capitulation<br/>
to authority, which depends on violence.<br/>
                        <em>from </em><strong>Spring Snow, Louis Glück</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>---</strong>
</p><p>Poppy fled to the living room, where strangers milled. Vincent Balthuman did not travel without an entourage, not at a time like this. Big men with guns stood at the window and at the front door. A blonde woman wearing disposable gloves was on the couch, holding a tattoo gun.</p><p>            Gyu winced and clenched his teeth to stay silent as she outlined the Balthuman crest on his neck. It was against clan tradition for him to make a sound until it was over.</p><p>            He had not been asked whether he wanted one.</p><p>            Poppy hovered at the lip of the hallway, lingering on the feeling that Vincent had given her and thinking about how <em>this</em> was the man who made Tora do the things Tora did; the reason why he said it was death to leave. Seeing her face, Jae grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her into Quincey’s bedroom, shutting the door behind them.</p><p>            “I get it,” he told Poppy, his own expression a dull mask of nothing. “But trust me. You’d better stay in here if you’re going to look so unhappy.”</p><p>
  <strong>--</strong>
</p><p>“So that’s the girl I’ve heard so much about?” Vincent asked.</p><p>            <em>… From who?</em> Tora thought. He struggled to sit and stand, knowing better than to stay laying down while the big boss stood. Age had generally made him less careful around Vincent, but his current vulnerability brought back a wary respect for the older man’s utter ruthlessness.</p><p>            “No, don’t tax yourself, son,” said Vincent, and took a seat at the edge of the bed with a sigh. “Well, it’s time and passed you took an interest. Pity she isn’t taller. Nonetheless, I’m sure any sons she gives you will be worthy soldiers for us.” Vincent chuckled. “Not in time for my use, perhaps,” the older man mused wistfully. “But Quinceton will need tigers of his own one day.”</p><p>            Tora blanched. <em>Soldiers…? </em></p><p>            Unbidden, an image of Poppy cradling a child—<em>his child?</em>—came to his mind, and he looked away. He had never imagined having a family, not of that sort. No sooner had the idea filled him with a strange warmth than it was replaced with flashes of his own childhood, and then visions of Vincent hurting Tora’s children in the same ways that Vincent had hurt Tora.</p><p>            <em>I can never have children</em>, Tora decided in that instant. He had never planned on it anyways. So why did the realization feel like loss?</p><p>            Vincent was continuing to talk. “From the looks of things, I don’t need to teach you a lesson. It seems you’ve already paid for your idiocy, and I need you well as soon as you can be. We have no men to spare. But you understand what would have happened to you, if Quinceton had been harmed in that… <em>fool</em> escapade?”</p><p>            “Yes. I do.”</p><p>            “So we turn to Martin,” Vincent said, with a deep, slow inhale. “What did he want?”</p><p>            “For me to cut ties with ya and work for him.”</p><p>            “And did you?” Vincent’s gaze was unflinching ice.</p><p>            “<em>Fuck</em> no,” Tora said. “I’m here, aren’t I?”</p><p>            “I want him to die <em>slowly</em>, Tora,” Vincent said with a smile. There was a fevered intensity in Vincent’s gaze, a dawning obsession.</p><p>            “So do I, but I can hardly move.” Tora meant it. Not only for his injuries and for the vision of Poppy crying and kissing Claude that he knew would be burned into his mind forever. But the clan was the closest thing he had to family, even when he hated it, and friends of his had been killed. He had watched Ren die, as if in slow motion.</p><p>            Vincent chuckled. “We’re playing a long game, my son. I won’t suffer another loss. Balthuman must gather its strength before we crush him like the roach he is. Tell me, what do you think of Jae?”</p><p>            “Jae?”</p><p>            “As your replacement. He seems… <em>uniquely</em> dedicated to staying by my son day and night.”</p><p>            Tora frowned.</p><p>            “Ya can trust him. His hand-to-hand needs work, but he’s good with a gun. An’ good instincts. Good potential.”</p><p>            “Then you can finish training him, while you train the others.”</p><p>            “What others?” Tora asked. “If I’m not a bodyguard…”</p><p>            “We can’t go to war without an army, <em>general</em>,” said Vincent. “It’s time you stepped into the role I made you for. You’ve distanced yourself from clan matters for far too long. The play break is over.”</p><p>            Vincent stood up from the bed, continuing to speak. “I’m securing a property. In a few weeks, when your injuries subside, you will move there with the others and we will begin. We’re withdrawing from Ares street until we can take the whole thing back by force. I don’t care if you bring the girl, unless she proves to be a… distraction.”</p><p>            “Okay,” Tora said blankly.</p><p>            He knew what happened to ‘distractions.’</p><p>            “Good boy,” said Vincent with a twist of his lips. He clapped Tora on the shoulder, a gesture that would have been fatherly had he not aimed for a dark bruise and hit hard.</p><p>---</p><p>            That night, Poppy dreamed a variation of a dream that had plagued her since rescuing Tora. She knelt on a pillar of earth, surrounded by cliffs that plunged into inky darkness. In front of her lay Tora’s body, but when she tried to touch him she realized he was covered in bugs. She screamed, and then Claude was in front of her, covered in blood from the neck down. He had no eyes and too many teeth.</p><p>            <em>“Let’s negotiate, sweetheart,”</em> he said, and reached both hands out to her.</p><p>            She sat up with a gasp, covered in a sheen of sweat, and panted. The room was dark and calm, a faint hint of streetlight through the window. Tora lay next to her, and for a terrible moment her nightmare twisted in her mind and she wondered if he was dead; it didn’t look like he was moving. But then he reached towards her.</p><p>            “Another one?” Tora said, and his voice was low and husky. His fingertips rested against her arm and called her back to earth.</p><p>            “I’m okay.”</p><p>            At last, when it seemed he had fallen back to sleep, she asked: “Tora?”</p><p>            “Mmm?” His voice was thick; almost asleep.</p><p>            “Can I ask a question?”</p><p>            “Mmm.” He turned his head back to her.</p><p>            “The first time you—took a life,” Poppy whispered. “Did you—have dreams?”</p><p>            “Yeah.”</p><p>            “When did they go away?”</p><p>            There was a long silence.</p><p>            “I’ll have to let ya know,” he said. “Mine haven’t. But then, I’ve been at this game too long, love, an’ not all mine were monsters.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Within a few days, Tora was up and moving, though still in pain and unable to do much. The day before Poppy had to return to work, Jae and Tora drove with her to her apartment. Jae stood by the door while Tora kept watch from the balcony. Poppy watered her dying plants, collected her mail, and packed two suitcases. She looked around mournfully at the life she’d used to live. Tora had explained why she could not move back, and she had understood, but she hadn’t liked it.</p><p>            “We’ll get tha rest of ya stuff soon an’ talk to ya landlady,” he’d promised. “For now, jus’ grab what ya need for a week or so.”</p><p>            And then Poppy was back at work, as if nothing had ever happened, and lying to Gil and Jacob about the flu, though she confessed to Erdene that it was more complicated than that. She told her over coffee only what details she thought would bring no trouble to anyone of her new friends or herself. She did not mention Claude, or the knife, or the corpses that had fallen around them, or the bullets that had slammed into the oversized bulletproof vest. Erdene had seen the news; it was simple enough to explain that she and Tora had been caught in the conflict by accident, and nearly died.</p><p>            “You are just having a <em>year,</em> Poppy. Damn. I hardly know what to say. I’m so glad you took a mental health week, you def-in-it-ley needed it after that,” Erdene had said with wide eyes, and Poppy felt awful. She did not like living two lives, but there she was; unwilling to leave either, unable to enter either entirely.</p><p>            Soon the day came that Tora was visiting the gym in Quincey’s building, not ready to lift weights, but just to walk and then to jog on the treadmill, his shaking hands grabbing the rails to support himself as his ankle throbbed against the compression bandage he’d wrapped around it. The bruises lightened into yellows and greens, and his lip healed, and the knife wound turned at last to a shiny silver scar.</p><p>            Then the day came when he picked her up and threw her down onto the bed they shared, and Poppy could only laugh with tears leaking out of her eyes as he growled playfully and crawled on top of her, biting her neck and kissing her with a fierce and unyielding passion. They made love in a tangle, rolling one way and then the other; Tora pinning her down, then Poppy riding him, then Tora flipping her back over to cradle her as he slowly plunged into her again and again, and they breathed against each other’s lips.</p><p>            “Get a room,” Gyu had muttered when they emerged in search of food and water, and then ducked as Tora lunged and smacked him on the back of the head with a growled “<em>shaddup</em>, <em>Ronzo.</em>”</p><p>            “Now, now,” Quincey chimed in as Gyu yelped. Quincey lay upside down on the couch and flipped through a magazine. “Don’t be jealous.”</p><p>            Jae, sitting upright next to Quincey with a hand on the blonde man’s shin, snorted.</p><p>            After that, when the mood struck either of them—as it very often seemed to do—they would slip down to the lower floor of the building and the undecorated, cold, lonely space where Tora had once lived alone, each gasp and moan breathing new life into the walls. Though they briefly considered moving there altogether, the five decided as a group that they should not. There was no telling if, or when, the men with blue studs in their ears would appear.</p><p>---</p><p>            A week before Vincent’s plan was set to begin, Tora drove to meet him, a high-ranking member named Smithy, and financial advisor Shing Ma.</p><p>            As soon as Tora left Quincey’s apartment, Quincey grabbed Poppy and gathered them all in the living room.</p><p>            “Knowing Tora I doubt any of you knew this, but his birthday is in two days,” Quincey said. “Let’s do something to celebrate while it’s still just the five of us.”</p><p>            Poppy nodded, eyes wide, and wondered why Tora had not mentioned it. She was more or less out of money again. What sort of gift might he like, that she could get for next to nothing? It couldn’t just be sex. He got plenty of <em>that</em> from her to begin with.</p><p>---</p><p>            “Shit… What tha…” Tora muttered when he arrived at the address he had been texted. A tall stone wall stretched far in either direction along the main road. He smoked a cigarette in his car while surveying what he could see of the grounds from the double-wide barred metal gate that was the only visible entrance. A man in all black materialized at the gate and pulled it open. Tora’s tires crunched over the long gravel drive. At the mansion, he jammed his baseball hat on his head, tucked a handgun into the back of his pants, and went inside.</p><p>            Smithy was showing Vincent the surveillance system that had been set up. Shing Ma gripped Tora’s hand in a greeting, but the other men made no acknowledgement until Smithy was done talking.</p><p>            A forty-minute drive from the heart of Ares’ street, the estate was past the outer edge of the city. A tall stone fence wrapped around rolling grounds. The house itself was more a fortress than it was anything else, some ostentatious folly built by a wealthy man to look like a castle, a hundred years ago in a fad then sweeping the upper class. The outer walls were thick stone. Two towers provided look out vantages.</p><p>            <em>When he said ‘Army’ and ‘War’… </em>Tora thought as they toured the house, chills running down his back and a thin sheen of sweat coating his forehead. Smithy pointed out the features he had chosen while Vincent nodded in approval and made occasional comments. The cellar was full of punching bags waiting to be hung, rolled mats, and boxes labeled with practice weapons. An armory held an impressive array of guns, riot shields, knives… smoke bombs. Gas masks? <em>Fuck. Fuck. What… just what the hell does Vincent think he’s preparing for?</em></p><p>            They went to what must have once been a ballroom but was in the process of being converted to a cafeteria. <em>And… how the fuck much money did he spend on this? Everything he had?</em> That did make a certain amount of sense, Tora had to admit; no matter what his complicated feelings for Vincent, nobody could deny that the man had spent his entire life in the brutal creation of an empire. He had just watched that empire implode and crumble around his feet. <em>Of course he’s gonna do whatever tha hell it takes, but this is somethin’ else. If a clan war is tha’ only thing on his mind I’ll bite my fuckin’ tongue off an’ swallow it whole.</em></p><p>            Bedrooms full of cots. A room turned into an infirmary. A few private rooms with larger beds, for those who ranked high enough, Tora among them. On the grounds, a shooting range. In the garage, two armored trucks and a hummer.</p><p>            “In four days everyone can move in,” Smithy said. “I recommend we wait a day or two after before we start bringing in the recruits, so our veterans can get settled in and take the lead.”</p><p>            “Tora?” Vincent wanted to know.</p><p>            “No opinion,” Tora said.</p><p>            “Do you see any equipment missing, son?” Vincent asked, and Tora scratched his head and readjusted his hat.</p><p>            “Focus mitts an’ hand wraps,” he said at last.</p><p>            Shing Ma typed it into his phone and nodded. Tora stood silently, his face blank but for his clenched jaw, and waited to be dismissed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Strawberries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora opens up, and Poppy shares a dessert with him</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What makes you happier in this chapter? Sharing feelings, or sharing... fruit? ;)</p><p>I hope it's still fun and interesting, I admit I feel a little insecure about this direction because the Vincent stuff feels like the biggest departure from the comic to me so far, buuut there are some scenes coming up I'm really excited to write!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            eyelid, nipple, hip;<br/>            it isn’t long<br/>            before the room<br/>            and roof, the world at large is gone<br/>            inside us, into humming, thumping, damp, and then<br/>            there’s only inside left to lose, and then it too<br/>            is lost, all’s<br/>            lost, in a<br/>            drench, a<br/>            din of downfall…<br/>                       <em>from </em><strong>Numberless, Heather McHugh</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>---</p><p>            When he arrived home, Tora waited in the car for almost an hour. He chain-smoked and lost himself in thoughts.</p><p>            What was happening at that mansion; what the future held. What it would mean for Poppy. He felt himself standing at a crossroads. One road was unthinkable; nothing good could come of it. He would not leave Poppy, and he would not put her through whatever was about to happen.</p><p>            The other was impossible and could not be achieved. He could not escape from the fate that was rushing towards him.</p><p>            When Tora reached the end of the pack, he went upstairs.</p><p>            It was Sunday, and Poppy was in the living room, doing work on her laptop with headphones in. Quincey sat next to her and worked on a novel. Jae and Gyu were locked in a fierce shoot-out battle with each other on the TV, a bowl of chips between them.</p><p>            “<em>Fuck you, dickwad,”</em> Jae growled.</p><p>            “<em>Eat shit!” </em>Gyu answered, landing a shot.</p><p>            “Poppy,” Tora said, and she looked up. She smiled at him and took out her headphones. “We need ta talk. Can ya come downstairs?”</p><p>            She was in the middle of something, but his look was not the type of look you could see and say: <em>just one minute. </em>Poppy shut the screen, wondering what was wrong and trying to think if she had done anything that might have upset him. No—this had to be Vincent, didn’t it?</p><p>            He closed the door behind them and they walked down to his old apartment in silence. There, he sat on the couch and held his head in his hands. She rubbed his back, worried.</p><p>            “Love, what is it?” Poppy asked.</p><p>            “I’m just tryin’ ta figure out how ta start,” Tora said. “Ya know today I went to whatever place Vincent is setting up. And…” he took off his hat and bent the bill, then leaned back against the couch and looked at her. “It’s like nothin’ I ever seen before. I thought he was setting up for a street war. But shit, Poppy. If we thought <em>that night</em> was a massacre, what’s comin’ is… I don’t know what he’s planning, but it’s big.”</p><p>            Her eyes widened.</p><p>            “I’m gonna need ya to leave the country,” he said next, in a whisper.</p><p>            “I’m not leaving you,” Poppy said flatly.</p><p>            “It’s not negotiable,” he growled.</p><p>            “You’re right. It’s not,” she said, and glared at him until he cussed.</p><p>            “Fuck, Poppy, I don’t wanna be apart either. But you gotta get somewhere safe, and… as soon as I figure out how, I promise I’ll come to ya. But I don’t know how I’m gonna get outta this.”</p><p>            “With my help. That’s how. Because you aren’t staying behind alone.”</p><p>            “Ya have no idea what Vincent is like,” Tora said.</p><p>            “<em>So tell me</em>,” Poppy begged, and squeezed his arm, leaning towards him with an intense and ferocious look on her face. “I know you keep trying to keep it all separate, Tora. But if you think you can just ask me to leave you behind, <em>especially</em> after what you just told me, you’re out of your mind.”</p><p>            He shook his head and leaned his head against the back of the couch.</p><p>            When did it get so complicated? His life used to be so simple. Painful, but simple. He knew his place. He knew his job. He dealt with the nightmares. He didn’t think about it too hard.</p><p>            “What could that old man have done to you, to make you so afraid of him?” Poppy whispered.</p><p>            He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His heart was beating rapidly. But he could trust her, couldn’t he? And a part of him desperately wanted to tell, wanted someone to know, to share the pain.</p><p>            The words bubbled up in him and carried with them fear and adrenaline. Tora took another deep breath and exhaled slowly. It was time. There was no hiding from her. She was a part of his world now. She’d fought and killed. She was not the innocent woman whose virginity he had claimed.</p><p>            He opened his mouth, and slowly, haltingly, began to tell her the story of his childhood. Poppy listened in silence with one hand on his arm and one hand on her mouth. As he talked something unlocked in him that he never knew had been locked.</p><p>            Many of the things Tora told Poppy were things that only Tora and Vincent knew. Tora had never opened up those wounds and displayed them to a living person. He was shocked how easy it felt to tell her, how word tumbled after word, how the more he said the more it was easier to say. It was as though her love had opened a floodgate in him.</p><p>            “I don’t know how ta leave,” he said at last, “but it’s time, Poppy. Whatever’s about ta happen, I… won’t… be a part of that.”</p><p>            “I’m so glad to hear you say that,” she whispered after a moment, her face still wet with tear-tracks and her voice trembling. Her eyes looked at him with nothing short of pure horror, so after meeting them for a moment he looked away in discomfort. He knew it was bad; that was why he had never told anyone. But <em>shit:</em> at the same time, it was just his life.</p><p>            “But <em>you</em> gotta go, Poppy. I can’t bear the thought of ya gettin’ hurt, and it’s gonna take me time ta pull this off.”</p><p>            “No. You said you’d leave; so, when you leave, we leave together. You said he was going to take his time, didn’t you? So, we have time, too, before it happens. Whatever it is.”</p><p>            “What if there’s no way out?” he whispered. “I might not make it, Poppy. <em>I can’t do this</em> not knowin’ ya safe. I might have to take risks I can’t ask of ya.”</p><p>            There was no way he’d be allowed to cross a border without sneaking across it, no country that would offer him refuge after the crimes he had committed all his life. Nowhere in Narin he could possibly hide. He felt like someone had backed him into a corner and put a gun to his head, and hers by extension.</p><p>            And what of the others? What would happen to Quincey, and Gyu, and Jae, without Tora there? What right did he have to leave?</p><p>            And there was the other thought, the darkest thought, the childhood nightmare that had haunted him for years until he couldn’t even tell if it was a real memory or just a shadow of one. In his head, he heard Vincent say: <em>If you try to escape again, you know what’ll happen to you. </em>A shudder racked through him.</p><p>            He had to find a way to make Poppy leave without him. He wasn’t giving up on that. No matter what Tora promised her, he knew that more than likely, there was no way out for him without death. He could never escape without Vincent finding out, and Vincent would go to the ends of the earth for vengeance. Hadn’t today proven that?</p><p>            “Hush, love,” said Poppy’s voice as she ran her hands soothingly over him and squeezed his hand. “There’s <em>always</em> a way out, even if we have to build the door ourselves.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Monday, the day before his 27<sup>th</sup> birthday. He picked her up from work; along with her messenger bag she had a plastic grocery bag.</p><p>            “What’cha got?” he asked.</p><p>            “Snacks,” Poppy said.</p><p>            At the condo, she tugged him away from the lift and towards where they went to be alone. He followed willingly. She led him to the bed, where they both sat down. She faced him.</p><p>            “So, I know your birthday is tomorrow,” Poppy said.</p><p>            “Shit, how’d ya… Quincey?”</p><p>            “Uh-huh. We can talk later about why you thought it was okay to not <em>tell </em>me it was coming up, Tora. But I wanted to give you your gifts early. And with everything… happening, I thought it might be nice to take a few days and remember… the stuff we have to be happy about, you know?”</p><p>            She reached into her messenger bag and gave him a watercolor painting the size of a notepad. “Sorry it’s so small. I was short on time,” she explained. It was a tiger surrounded by black tulips. “I was going to make them pink, but I thought it might be too girly for you.”</p><p>            “Like the flowers I gave you?” he asked, holding the little piece of paper in his two big hands and staring at it with wonder. “Ya… made this? For me?”</p><p>            “Uh-huh,” Poppy said. “Um, sorry. I didn’t really buy you anything…”</p><p>            “I love it,” Tora said.</p><p>            “And…” Poppy said. She drew a box of strawberries out of the grocery bag and put them on his nightstand. He took one and bit into it, then stopped mid-chew as she pulled out a can of whipped cream. “I know everyone expects cake, but I thought you might like a different kind of dessert?” Poppy offered, biting her lip and looking up at him. He swallowed what was in his mouth.</p><p>            “…yes, please,” said Tora, and pulled her on top of him as he lay back and kissed her. Poppy kissed him back; cigarettes and strawberries.</p><p>            A little later, she was shirtless and on her back, her arms around Tora’s neck. She giggled as a naked Tora lay on top of her and covered first one of her nipples with the whipped cream, then the other.</p><p>            He reached for one of the strawberries and ran it through the cream, catching and pushing at the taut bud at the end of her breast. Poppy moaned. He held it out for her to take a bite, then ran the other half of the berry over it again, dying the whipped cream pink with juice, and ate that himself. The whipped cream was soft and sweet and coated his tongue with the rich flavor of fat; the berry a bold, tart punch that cut through it.</p><p>           When one breast held only lines and blobs of the whipped cream, all the bigger pieces scraped off by the strawberries, Tora bent down and ran his tongue over her. He took as much of her into his mouth as he could, sucked and tugged; flicked at her sensitive nipple with his tongue and then gently grazed it with his teeth. Brought up a hand to squeeze her and hold her in place while he tenderly tasted her.</p><p>            Then the other, starting over again. A strawberry for Poppy. A strawberry for him. His mouth, to clean up what was left.</p><p>            He rose on his elbows and dug through the box of strawberries for one that was particularly large and juicy, and held it up for her. She delicately bit it in half, exposing the wet, glistening flesh inside. He slowly lowered the cut end to her and ran it over one nipple, then the other, in widening circles that left a broad patch of each breast damp and sticky with juice.</p><p>            He bent his head to her again to lick and tug his favorite flavor from her skin. A reminder of things to be happy about, indeed. He slipped two fingers inside her.</p><p>            And later, with her on his dick and sitting in his lap, he picked up another strawberry and offered it to her. He watched as her lips curved around it. As she bounced on his cock, he pushed back her hair and wiped the juice of the remaining end onto her neck, bending to kiss her and to clean the place where he had traced the fruit.</p><p>            It was a reminder. Life, even his life, could be so sweet.</p><p>---</p><p>            “Happy birthday!” Poppy shouted when he picked her up the next day. She threw herself into the car to press her lips up against his cheek. He blushed.</p><p>            “I’m not a birthday person,” Tora grumbled. “Didn’t we do this yesterday?”</p><p>            “Too bad, because it’s your birthday anyways. Onwards!” Poppy said, and he shook his head and began to drive.</p><p>            Quincey had cooked a dinner, though insisted Jae had helped by chopping.</p><p>            “Yeah, like, one pepper,” Jae snorted.</p><p>            “And I did jack shit,” Gyu said proudly. “Happy birthday, big bro.”</p><p>            “Aren’t you the only one who actually <em>worked</em> in a restaurant?” Jae grumbled, not for the first time that day.</p><p>            “Big bro knows I love him. I don’t have to show it off,” Gyu said, and Jae kicked him hard, Gyu doubling over before lunging after Jae. Tora shook his head as the two men chased each other around the house, until Quincey yelled: “<em>enough! </em>Neither <em>of you earn enough to buy me a new lamp if you break one</em>!”</p><p>            They gathered around the table and toasted with their choice of sake or strawberry juice, and ate, and made fun of each other. Despite Poppy’s comment about <em>being </em>dessert the day before, she had baked a strawberry cake topped with dollops of whipped cream; Tora had no idea when she had found the time. She winked at him when he took the first bite, and then they were both holding back laughter at the naughty memory that surfaced while the others blinked at them and then shrugged it off.</p><p>            Then there were video games, which Poppy claimed no interest in, but she lay with her head in his lap and watched as Tora growled and smashed at the controller and cussed out the other men.</p><p>            “Was that so bad?” she asked at the end of the night, giving him a big kiss as they lay in bed.</p><p>            “Nah, I had fun,” he admitted.</p><p>            “Good. Because I <em>am</em> a birthday person, and you had better believe I’ll make each year better than the last.”</p><p>            “I’ll look forward to it,” he chuckled, but could not help but think: <em>if there is a next year. None of us are ready for whatever fuckery is comin’. That, I know. </em>He wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled up against him, and wished he could feel whatever peace Poppy was so sure of.</p><p>---</p><p>            And then it was Wednesday, and time to move to the mansion, for all of them. Jae followed in a separate car with Quincey and Gyu. Tora drove with Poppy’s hand in his.</p><p>            As the gate, Vincent’s guards once again drew the door open.</p><p>            “If he gets a single whiff of what we’re thinkin’…” Tora warned under his breath one last time.</p><p>            “He won’t,” Poppy promised under her breath, and squeezed his hand. “Whatever happens, Tora, we’re going to make it through this.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Everything You've Got</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora trains the clan in hand-to-hand combat; Tora and Quincey have a heart-to-heart; Tora and Poppy talk about the future.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: if anybody listens to the song I used today instead of a poem, please be aware that the music video deals explicitly with self harm and sexual assault.</p><p>1. Are people still reading and enjoying? D:</p><p>2. I received feedback that I had failed to provide trigger warnings for content that was upsetting and wanted to take a moment to sincerely apologize. I updated what I (think) were the problem chapters and will try to be extra conscientious for the remaining ones if such a scene happens again. I know from experience that being triggered is nooooot fun and honestly, given that, I should have known better. My bad. If you notice anything else I should have marked and didn't, please let me know so I can fix it and improve.</p><p>3. I updated the number of chapters to show that #23 is now the planned ending. That may shift slightly depending on how long some of the scenes take, but... THE END IS NIGH!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It seems like yesterday that I was nothin'<br/>
Then all of a sudden I'm a volcanic eruption<br/>
Then all of a sudden it's like spontaneous combustion<br/>
And I'm all up in your face yellin', "Bitch, you can't tell me nothin'"<br/>
…<br/>
And you never let 'em kill you, you take everything they give you<br/>
And throw it right fuckin' at 'em and tell 'em it doesn't build you<br/>
And no it don't ever break you, and no it can't overtake you<br/>
Life's like a bed of roses, you take the thorns and you make do</p><p>            <em>from </em><strong>Battlecry (song), Angel Haze ft. Sia</strong></p><p>---</p><p>            “EVERYTHING YA FUCKIN’ GOT,” Tora bellowed. “HELL, EVERYTHING YA <em>THINK</em> YA GOT.”</p><p>            Two dozen men knelt on the floor, slamming their elbows into target pads again and again as the stopwatch counted down. They were starting to slow down, three minutes into striking the same strike as hard and fast as they could. It was more tiring than it looked, but Tora was unsympathetic. They would not get better if he did not push them past their limits.</p><p>            Tora crouched down in the face of a younger clan member whose strikes had softened into light slaps as he wheezed through the exercise.</p><p>            “EVERYTHING YA <em>DON’T</em> GOT. USE. IT. NOW,” he screamed into the young man’s face.</p><p>            Just over one month had passed since moving into the mansion. Even the junkies that Vincent had rounded up were starting to show promise and build muscle. Tora was in the strange position where he did not actually <em>want</em> any of them to get better at fighting, but he felt no choice but to make a show of doing the job Vincent had asked of him. <em>Besides. If they know what they’re doin’ maybe they’ll make it out alive.</em></p><p>“UP! UP! UP!” Tora bellowed as the stopwatch went off, and the men wheezed and struggled to their feet.</p><p>“PARTNERS. KNEES!” They hurried to grab the focus mitts and find partners, then practice thrusting their knees up into the partner’s stomach or face while grappling the back of their opponent’s neck down with both hands.</p><p>            Tora homed in on one pair that was falling behind; the same young man whose elbows had been so weak and lazy just a moment before.</p><p>            “Get ya mother fuckin’ knees UP,” Tora said.</p><p>            “I’m gonna throw up,” the man said, and turned to stumble into the corner.</p><p>            Tora followed him, stalking him like the big cat for which he was named. “Ya think Martin’s gonna say, TAKE YA TIME? Ya think Scharch gonna tell ya, NO PROBLEM, I’LL WAIT TILL YA DONE TA KILL YA? Fuckin’ <em>pussy-ass bitch</em>.”</p><p>            The man stumbled back to his partner, swallowing whatever he was about to do, and Tora moved on to correct the next pair’s posture, and the next pair’s speed, and then to yell “SWITCH” as those holding the pads handed them to their partners.</p><p>            So the days went. He rotated them in groups and worked throughout the day, as the clan members ran, and shot targets, learned new knife strikes, and built more muscle. Their knuckles cracked and bled from the punching, and they switched to palm strikes until the skin scabbed, then back to punches, then back when the scabs split… again and again until the callouses on their fists were thick and would break for nothing but concrete.</p><p>           Tora spent most of his time yelling and watching, but he got some practice in too. At first all he did was demonstrate moves. Every time he picked someone to hold the pads for him to show them a new punch, or knee, or kick, the man he picked would cuss as others laughed; it had happened once and now it was a fad, the men inventing more and more colorful responses to mutter as they trotted to where Tora stood waiting. The inch or so of padding that the mats provided didn’t stop Tora’s blows from hurting.</p><p>            As they got better, he began to insert himself into the pairings, making them try to block him and then, eventually, sparring with them. Before long almost everyone had a bruise that Tora had given them, and they compared these and talked about him in awe behind his back. They were men who had respected violence all their lives, and while some certainly daydreamed about pinning Tora down and paying him back for those bruises, they all offered him actual respect.</p><p>            Vincent wanted no softness, but Tora knew that many of the men were not used to this sort of training. Even those who had been with the clan a while had not worked so hard before, having just relied on their ability to shoot a gun and look death in the face. So Tora insisted that Vincent give them some small pleasures, too, to avoid a mutiny.</p><p>            They had breaks in the days, and music thumped in the cafeteria, and in small groups the women who had worked and danced and fluttered about the clan’s warriors began to come, which relieved much of the tension and complaining.</p><p>            Soon after, a new recruit mistook Poppy for one such woman as she sat in the grass in front of the house and read.</p><p>            “Hey, sweet tits,” he drawled, eyeing her up and down, before the man next to him grabbed him by the collar and whispered something hurriedly into his ear.</p><p>            “I’m sorry,” the new recruit said, shaking. “Please don’t tell big bro I hit on you! I didn’t know!” And then he fled. Poppy blinked after him as he went and did not know what to make of the encounter.</p><p>---</p><p>            They were in the bedroom getting ready for bed. Poppy brushed her hair while Tora stretched and thought back over what had and hadn’t gone well that day. One of his slower learners had finally gotten the hang of some of the trickier handgun disarms, but he’d also found one of the addicts with drugs and had to deal with that.</p><p>            Someone knocked on the door, and Tora went to answer it.</p><p>            “Hi, honey. Mind if I come in?” Quincey asked softly. Tora stood aside and Vincent’s son came to sit on the bed, looking confused and distraught and thoughtful all at once.</p><p>            “Hey Quincey,” Poppy said, but Quincey just nodded at her without saying anything. A long pause. Tora went back to stretching; Quincey would talk when he was ready.</p><p>            “Do you know what he’s planning?” Quincey said at last, softly, so the noise would not travel.</p><p>            Tora shook his head. “All I can do is guess.”</p><p>            “You know how I feel about all this,” Quincey said. “At first I just thought, he wants to keep us all safe, and that’s why we’re here.”</p><p>            Tora stood now, hands folded across his chest, and listened.</p><p>            “…but I’m getting scared,” Quincey said. “I know Dad’s ruthless, he has to be. But he wouldn’t hurt innocent people, would he?”</p><p>            “Fuck, course he would,” Tora said. “Quince, how the hell d’ya think ya old man built his name in th’ first place?”</p><p>            “…by thinking one step ahead?” Quincey offered. It was the answer Vincent had always given him. “I mean, you know him, Tora. He’s hard and I know he’s done a lot of bad things, but he’s not a bad person.”</p><p>            Tora chewed the inside of his cheek and looked down at Quincey for a long moment. At last he sighed and sat on the bed beside him. Poppy put down her hairbrush.</p><p>            “What I’m gonna tell ya, Quince, ya gotta promise not to tell anotha’ soul.”</p><p>            Quincey nodded.</p><p>            “I mean it,” Tora warned. “Not Jae. Sure as hell not ya dad.”</p><p>            “I promise,” Quincey said.</p><p>            “I think it’s time ya knew what growin’ up was like.”</p><p>            “What are you talking about? We grew up together.”</p><p>            “No, Quince. We lived in tha’ same house, that’s all. Now keep ya mouth shut and just listen.”</p><p>            Tora took a deep breath. This time, having already told it all to Poppy, it was so much easier to begin.</p><p>---</p><p>            In bed that night, after Quincey had left, Poppy shared some bad news with him. She’d had the idea that he might be able to get asylum, if he could prove he was being hunted by a gang, but although she’d looked into a number of different countries it just didn’t seem like he would qualify. His status was too high and his involvement too deep. Bribes were an option, but a risky one, and although Tora was paid well their resources had limits.</p><p>            “So we have to get you a fake ID and hope it can get you across a border, or it’s back to trying to sneak across,” she whispered.</p><p>            Tora rubbed his face and wrapped an arm around her.</p><p>            “Alright,” he said. “Maybe I can ask Gyu about the ID thing, or if he can do something with records. But I don’t wanna get him involved too deep.”</p><p>            “Maybe he’d like to be,” Poppy offered. “I don’t think he likes it here either.”</p><p>            “Tha’ more people involved the worse tha’ risk.”</p><p>            “Yeah, but we can’t just leave our friends behind.”</p><p>            It was an old argument. Tora sighed again.</p><p>            “Poppy. Leavin’ that for now. Can we talk about somethin’ else?”</p><p>            “Fine. How about the future?”</p><p>            “What about it?”</p><p>            “Tell me what our life will be like,” she said, and snuggled up against him. It was her favorite game.</p><p>            “Hm. We’ll have a little house, and a room jus’ for painting.”</p><p>            “And a garden?”</p><p>            “Mm-hm. And a garden.”</p><p>            “And what will you do all day?”</p><p>            He thought about this. They had tried out a few ideas already. His early responses had all been things like <em>private security</em> or <em>martial arts instructor</em>. His only options would be ones where he could be paid under the table and would need neither background check nor a degree.</p><p>            “Construction,” he said at last, this time.</p><p>            “Construction?”</p><p>            “Uh-huh. I’ll spend my days buildin’ new things.”</p><p>            “And maybe one day you’ll build us a new house,” Poppy said with a smile.</p><p>            “And everyone’ll wonder how I got such a hot wife,” he said.</p><p>            She snorted.</p><p>            “That’s not a joke,” Tora said. “First thing I wanna do when we get outta here…”</p><p>            But Poppy was pulling away from him a little.</p><p>            “Can we save that one for down the road?” She said.</p><p>            “You don’t wanna?” He rolled onto his side and looked at her, and she looked at him, and frowned, and tried to think how to explain without hurting his feelings.</p><p>            “I love you,” she started. “Very, very much.”</p><p>            “I know that…” Tora said.</p><p>            “But this is… still new. And we’re still… at least, I’m still young.”</p><p>            “If ya don’t think we’re gonna last, why tha hell are ya putting yaself through this?”</p><p>            “Because that’s not what I said,” Poppy told him patiently. “I don’t <em>want</em> to be anywhere else, at least not without you. I mean it, when I say how much I love you, Tora.”</p><p>            It was true. She had never felt so desired. Apart from her father, she had never felt so treasured. She <em>liked</em> being someone’s everything. She <em>liked</em> knowing that the man beside her would go to the ends of the Earth for her.</p><p>            And then, there was Tora himself. The fact that his soul was so gentle, even if he was a killer. The fact that he loved strawberries. The way he laughed. The way he fucked her. The intensity of his golden eyes. His dimples when he smiled. His embarrassment whenever he was caught doing something nice. She loved him. If she’d read about their romance in a book, she would have been scared for the protagonist and thought, <em>run, girl</em>, but this was <em>her</em> life, and she was happy.</p><p>            “So ya wanna wait?” he asked.</p><p>            “If we <em>are</em> going to spend our lives together, I just don’t see what the rush is,” Poppy said. “So… yeah. I’m not <em>going</em> anywhere, but I want to wait. I mean, it’s only been, what, three months? What’s the hurry?”</p><p>            “The hurry is, I love ya an’ life is short,” Tora told her.</p><p>            “But…”</p><p>            “Hush,” he said, and put a finger to her lips. “I may not get how ya feel, Bobby, but if ya wanna wait, we’ll wait.”</p><p>            In any case, first they had to find a way to escape.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Men of Danger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time passes in the mansion. Tora approaches Gyu for help.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: vague, indirect mention of a situation that would put someone at risk of being assaulted. Also, violence. But that should not be surprising at this point (-sweats-)</p><p>All I wanna do is write the last three chapters but first -Things Need To Happen-</p><p>Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it, feedback is appreciated</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I know the purity of pure despair,<br/>
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall.<br/>
That place among the rocks—is it a cave,<br/>
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.<br/>
            <em>from </em><strong>In a Dark Time, Theodore Roethke</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>Mid-October. They had now been there two months.</em>
</p><p>            The air grew cold, especially at night. Only a few things of note happened.</p><p>            Quincey had agreed to be represented by Giant Goldfish. With the addition of the Noyouko name, they began to speak with other big-name authors who would not have considered such a minor publisher.</p><p>            Although it meant more work for Poppy, she had more respect as well: Gil knew that they would not have landed Q.B. Noyouko or the others that followed without her, and Quincey made it known to Gil that he would not remain with Giant Goldfish if he weren’t Poppy’s client. As a result, Gil agreed to let Poppy work remotely twice a week, a welcome change with the now-long commute.</p><p>             On the days she did go in, Tora drove her to and from the office. On the other days, she kept to their room or Quincey's. He would come to check on her every chance he could get, always feeling a moment of utter, incomprehensible panic before he opened the door to the sight of her focused on her laptop or flipping through a manuscript with a red pen.</p><p>            Things at the mansion were tense; not a person who lived there was happy or relaxed. As the leaves changed color, Vincent overheard one of the clan members calling him a crazy old asshole, and had the man shot.</p><p>            Tora overheard Vincent saying something to Shing Ma about the price of mercenaries, and told nobody.</p><p>            The days felt long and the nights felt short. It was hard to relax and to share intimacy in that house where war and violence brewed. Poppy was often frightened.</p><p>            “I could have ya on a flight tomorrow,” Tora said every few days as they lay in bed. “I don’t like you waiting here with me.”</p><p>            “I’m not leaving without you,” she’d say again, as always.</p><p>            The bedroom had once been a place of pleasure and fire between them, but now it was a space of safety. Lying together in the nights, they whispered about their hopes, their dreams, their fears. Tora let down the walls he guarded through the day.</p><p>            “Can’t we just run somewhere in Narin? Would he really be able to find you?”</p><p>            “I’d never be able to put my guard down,” Tora said.</p><p>            “But isn’t it better, to be somewhere else and trying to escape, then here?”</p><p>            “Sometimes it’s best to hide in plain sight.”</p><p>            “I’m just scared, Tora.”</p><p>            “That’s why I’m tryin’ ta make ya leave,” he would respond. Saying <em>I’m scared, too</em>, was still not an easy thing for the big man to admit. “Am I gonna have ta tie ya up and ship ya somewhere safe?”</p><p>            “You wouldn’t dare,” Poppy would mutter. And Tora might encircle one of her wrists with a calloused hand, but the suggestion—half threat, half plea—would soon be forgotten as their lips met.</p><p>            They found comfort tracing the lines of each other’s bodies and breathing the air the other breathed. Fear was palpable in the air around them, but hell was not so bad if you weren’t walking through it alone.</p><p>---       </p><p>            The five who had hidden out in Quincey’s condo remained close through it all. Often they would take their meals together, in the cafeteria or in Quincey or Tora’s room for privacy. If Vincent noticed that his son was avoiding him, he said nothing. If any of the men who lived in the mansion noticed that Jae and Quincey were almost always touching, even if just the brush of the bodyguard’s fingers on Quincey’s back as they walked through the halls, nobody was stupid enough to mention it in front of one of the five of them.</p><p>            A group of other clan members tried to bully Gyu for a few days, annoyed at the distance he kept between himself and the others who lived in the barracks, thinking him aloof and needing to be taught a lesson. It didn’t last long. For one thing, Gyu was now strong enough to hold his own, and though he took a beating he gave one back, too. More importantly, the first time Tora noticed, the men who were bothering Gyu got their asses kicked resoundingly and were moaning and stumbling around for the rest of the day. Word got around quickly: if you were going to mess with someone, better not to mess with the Tiger’s friends.</p><p>            Quincey began to work on a novel about a castle that had been taken over by pirates, and the hostages they held there. If Poppy noticed parallels as she read over his drafts and helped him make his plot tighter, she did not say a word. She only bent her head to listen, and nod, and sometimes blush.</p><p>---</p><p>            Tora began to add new elements to the trainings he held. He took them out of the cellar and made them fight on the stairways, or camped them in groups on opposite sides of the house and had them wage fake wars, making use of doorways to hide behind and taking into account creaking floorboards, cast shadows, and other elements that could make for life-or-death. They scaled the walls and picked the locks.</p><p>            “What am I training them for?” Tora finally asked Vincent, as the older man stood beside him and watched Tora’s men lunge and tumble and stab at each other with practice knives. “It’d be good ta know if I’m overlookin’ something.”</p><p>            “That’s a need to know basis, son. You’re doing well. We’ll be ready before springtime.”</p><p>            And so the earth kept spinning as their fate hurtled towards them.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>Mid-November. Three months in the mansion.</em>
</p><p>            Tora and Gyu jogged the perimeter of the estate in the early morning, both men’s breath puffing out white as their lungs heaved and protested the frigid air. They wore hoodies and sweatpants.</p><p>            “What did you want to talk about?” Gyu asked when they slowed to a walk halfway around the wall. Tora put his hands on his sides as he breathed heavily, but he kept walking.</p><p>            “The fuck makes you think I wanted to talk ta ya?”</p><p>            “Shit, because you made me go running with you at seven in the morning, and it sucks.”</p><p>            “Maybe I just like to run,” Tora grinned.</p><p>            “Nobody likes to run. And it’s cold as balls.”</p><p>            Tora snorted. “Gyu… what do ya think? About what we’re doing here?”</p><p>            Gyu was thoughtful and silent for a moment.</p><p>            “Scary shit, big bro,” he said at last. “But I trust you, and it’s not like I can leave, so…”</p><p>            “Poppy and I are trying to,” Tora said abruptly.</p><p>            “Leave?”</p><p>            “Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, Gyu, or you know what will happen to us.”</p><p>            “Shit,” said Gyu. “Do you know something--?”</p><p>            “Just what I see with my own eyes,” Tora said. “But look, I didn’t bring you out here just ta tell you shit that could get us all killed. I wanted to ask what ya know about fake passports. Where would ya…go? To get one?”</p><p>            Gyu folded his arms in front of him and frowned. Then he kicked at a pebble on the ground and looked back up at Tora.</p><p>            “What about smugglers? That’s easier.”</p><p>            “If it was just me, maybe. But Poppy won’t leave without me even though she coulda by now. Nothing I say can make her change her mind. An’ you… ya know. <em>Hear stories</em>, about smugglers.”</p><p>            It was one way to get across a border undetected, but it meant making yourself vulnerable to men as bad as any Balthuman member had ever been, and they would likely be separated for part of the journey. To Tora, putting Poppy in that situation without even the promise of being by her side to protect her was a last resort, if even that.</p><p>            “Ya think getting me a passport isn’t gonna happen?” Tora asked.</p><p>            “It’s possible, but there’s a lot of bad fake shit out there that’d just get you arrested when you tried to use it. But…if you promise to take me with you, I could take care of all that,” Gyu said.</p><p>            “It’s dangerous to leave, Gyu,” Tora said.</p><p>            “And it’s dangerous to stay, especially if <em>you</em> aren’t gonna be here,” Gyu said. “We’re men of danger, bro!”</p><p>            “Alright,” Tora agreed, and clapped Gyu on the shoulder. “Just be careful, and let me know what you need to make it happen.”</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>The start of December. Three and a half months in the mansion; five and a half months since the first night Tora and Poppy shared together. </em>
</p><p>            It was one of Poppy’s office days. They kissed goodbye in the car.</p><p>            “I have to go,” Poppy said at last, pulling away.</p><p>            “Uh-huh,” Tora agreed, and pulled her face back towards him to keep kissing her.</p><p>            “I’m going to be late, love,” Poppy said.</p><p>            Tora at last relented and sat back with a sigh, watching her collect her things and get out of the car. She shut the door, waved at him, and blew him a kiss. He watched her walk to the door and inside it before putting the car back into drive.</p><p>---</p><p>            Out in the cold sprawling yard of the mansion, Tora led half the men in a vigorous workout. Sprint. Pushups. Shadowbox. Burpees. Sprint. Lunge. They were all getting stronger, faster, better stamina.</p><p>            “Ya elbows keep poppin’ out,” Tora told one man as he watched punches fly. “Anyone with half a brain is gonna see ya blows coming. Keep it tight.”</p><p>            “Tora.” That was Smithy, standing at a safe distance. “The big boss would like a word.”</p><p>            “Now?”</p><p>            “Now.”</p><p>            “Micah. Ya in charge. Finish it up, stretch, take a break,” Tora said, and followed Smithy back into the house.</p><p>            Smithy led him up the stairs, down a hallway, and into an elegant room that Vincent liked to use for meetings. Tora saw the body on the ground immediately; how could he not?</p><p>            Gyu was conscious and gasping for air, occasionally coughing. Blood dripped from a gash on his forehead. More blood dripped from his nose to smear against his teeth. </p><p>            “Big bro…” the young man moaned as his eyes, narrowed in pain, met Tora’s.</p><p>            “Hello, son,” Vincent said, his voice cheerful and unbothered. “It seems your favorite dog was trying to escape.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Ascension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora makes a split decision about Gyu, and finally faces his fear of Vincent.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>-Aaaaall the violence-</p><p>Also, "EAT A BAG OF DICKS, VINCENT!"</p><p>The ending of this chapter was very satisfying to write, personally. And I have to tell y'all I am SO excited to write the next few chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            and from every dead child a rifle with eyes,<br/>            and from every crime bullets are born<br/>            which will one day find<br/>            the bull's eye of your hearts.<br/>            . . .<br/>            Come and see the blood in the streets.<br/>            Come and see<br/>            the blood in the streets.<br/>            Come and see the blood<br/>            in the streets!<br/>                       <em>from </em><strong>I Explain A Few Things (translated), Pablo Neruda</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>---</p><p>            What had Gyu said? What did Vincent know, and what did he suspect? The big boss’ eyes were on him, and Tora knew he had to act quickly.</p><p>            <em>I’m sorry,</em> Tora thought, and slammed his heel into the younger man’s chest. Gyu seized as the breath was knocked out of him. His breath returned slowly, and he coughed and hacked before rolling over to spit out a dribble of blood.</p><p>            Tora knelt down in front of him and wrapped his hand in Gyu’s hair. He stared Gyu straight in the eyes, willing his friend to look deep and understand what was happening, and why.</p><p>            “Bro… please,” Gyu gasped out.</p><p>            “What was he doing?” Tora growled.</p><p>            Vincent sighed, as if he were bored.</p><p>            “Some… things happened. I wondered if we might have a mole among us, so I asked Smithy to monitor the internet access.”</p><p>            Vincent walked over to a drink cart and poured himself an ounce of a deep amber whiskey. He inhaled its scent and turned back to Tora.</p><p>            “But the thing <em>I </em>can’t understand… is that he was trying to purchase two passports. Since he seems to spend more time with you than with anyone else, I thought you might have an idea who the second was for.”</p><p>            Vincent smiled, the skin around his eyes crinkling.</p><p>            <em>Fuck. Please tell me they started doing that after Poppy did her research, and not before.</em></p><p>
  <em>            …Had to be after. Or I’d be on the floor with Gyu. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>            He suspects me. But he doesn’t know yet. Not for sure.</em>
</p><p>Every move mattered. The smart thing to do, if he wanted to survive and to save Poppy, was to kill Gyu now in a manner so ruthless that Vincent would be assuaged.</p><p>            But for better or worse, Tora knew that wasn’t an option. Hurt Gyu, torture him, taunt him; Tora could do bad things to keep Poppy safe. But kill Gyu, or let him be killed…?</p><p>           Gyu was family. Even at his most brutal, <em>family</em> meant something. There was little enough of that to go around.</p><p>            “No idea,” Tora growled. “Ya search his shit yet?”</p><p>            “Of course,” Vincent said. “Well, he doesn’t seem to want to talk. Go ahead, Tora. You can kill him now.”</p><p>            There were two basic types of choke holds. By applying pressure to the front of the neck, you crushed the windpipe and caused death. By applying pressure to the sides, you cut off the blood flow and caused the victim to black out. It was dangerous if you kept blood from the head for too long, but twenty seconds or so of unconsciousness was not enough to cause brain damage.</p><p>            It was not his usual move. Vincent would expect something more ruthless, but it was the only way Tora could think of to black out Gyu on the spot without risking killing him by accident; a blow to the head would be too dangerous. Tora wrapped one hand around Gyu’s neck and crushed in from the sides, careful to avoid pushing down against the front.</p><p>            Gyu’s eyes went wide with fear and horror; if he had believed that Tora was going to save him, he didn’t believe it now. His hands scratched and clawed at the grip around his neck. His legs kicked at nothing. No sound escaped his throat.</p><p>            Then nothing. Gyu went limp.</p><p>            Tora grabbed him by the front of the shirt and hauled his friend up, then threw the body over his shoulder.</p><p>            “I’ll take out the trash,” Tora said, and left the room.</p><p>            As soon as the door was closed behind him, Tora readjusted his grip on Gyu and tried to keep his pace steady even though he wanted nothing more than to break into a run. A few faces turned to watch him go, wondering why their general was carrying one of the clan members over his shoulder like a sack of flour. In his arms, Gyu was stirring.</p><p>            “Play dead,” Tora whispered under his breath, trying not to move his lips. Gyu stilled.</p><p>            Tora opened the front door and walked to his car, feeling eyes watching him. He threw Gyu into the trunk, whispered “<em>sorry,</em>”, then turned on the car and accelerated towards the gate.</p><p>---</p><p>            Half a mile from the estate, Tora pulled over on an isolated road and opened the trunk. Gyu was wheezing for breath. He would need medical attention at some point, but Tora didn’t think he was dying.</p><p>            “Are you going to kill me now, big bro?” the man asked weakly, utter defeat in his eyes.</p><p>            “Fuck no. Shit. Sorry I hit ya. Couldn’t think of anything else. C’mon.”</p><p>            Tora offered him a hand and pulled him out of the trunk, then helped him into the back of the car.</p><p>            “What else they know?” Tora asked as he got back into the driver’s seat and began to head towards the city. He was driving too fast, gripping the wheel hard.</p><p>            “I dunno,” Gyu said, and moaned, grabbing his chest. “Just came and grabbed me. Asked some questions, I didn’t say shit. Then you showed up.”</p><p>            “Fuck. Thanks. I… I’m sorry you got tangled up in my own shit.”</p><p>            “Where’r we going?” Gyu asked after they had driven in silence.</p><p>            “Poppy,” Tora said, as he started to call her.</p><p>            “We running?” Gyu asked.</p><p>            “Yeah, Ronzo. We’re running.” Tora cut in front of another car and accelerated to make the changing light in front of them.</p><p>            The phone kept ringing. <em>She must be in the middle of something</em>, Tora thought. There was no answer.</p><p>---</p><p>            “What a pity,” Vincent said, shaking his head after the door closed behind Tora. “I suppose that confirms it. He wouldn’t have left in such a hurry if that boy were actually dead.”</p><p>            “Wan’ me go after him?” One of Vincent’s guards asked, shifting his weight forward slightly.</p><p>            “No, no. He’ll be back when he realizes we have his girl.” Vincent shook his head one last time and took a slow sip of his whiskey, savoring it. “I really <em>did</em> hope I was wrong on this one. What a bad year it’s been for loyalty.”</p><p>            A petite woman began to scrub Gyu’s blood from the floor.</p><p>            “Thank you, dear,” Vincent said, turning away towards the window and taking another sip. He watched as Tora’s blue car sped out of the gate.</p><p>            “Ah—before I forget, nobody tell Quinceton just yet. He’ll be so upset to hear Tora turned on us. He always <em>was</em> attached to his bodyguard.”</p><p>            “Shoot on sight?” the same guard asked, being a man of singular purpose and few words.</p><p>            “No, no. Just knock him to his knees and have him brought to me.” Vincent tapped the edge of his glass with one ringed finger. “I want to have some final words with that one. You could have the men start digging a grave, though, I suppose. We’ll need one before the night is out.”</p><p>---</p><p>            “C’mon, Poppy, pick up” Tora muttered. He stood outside the car in front of the Giant Goldfish office. Gyu lay down in the backseat and closed his eyes to breathe through the pain. Once again, nobody answered the phone.</p><p>            <em>She’s at work. She’s just busy. In tha’ middle of something. Maybe a meeting.</em> But he didn’t believe himself, not really.</p><p>            Tora had been in her office once before, after they had first met, when he was searching for the notebook that had started all of this. Within seconds, he was back inside, his eyes scanning for Poppy.</p><p>            “Oh, hey, Tora, right?” A tall, thin woman with striking eyes asked the man who had burst through the door.</p><p>            “Oh, it’s that guy!” A little twerp with glasses said.</p><p>            If Tora were not in panic, he might have thought, <em>oh, so that little fucker is Jacob?</em>, but he had time for only one thought, one purpose.</p><p>            “Where’s Poppy?” Tora said.</p><p>            “She went to pick up lunch,” Erdene answered. Then Erdene looked at her phone and frowned. “It’s been a really long time, though. I’m sure she’ll be back any minute.”</p><p>            <em>Fuck. FUCK. </em>His heart beat hard and fast. He could scream. He could pick up the desk next to him and throw it across the room. <em>FUCK</em>.</p><p>            “If ya see her tell her call me right away,” Tora said instead, and left.</p><p>            At the car, he wrenched open the back door.</p><p>            “Out, Gyu. Now.”</p><p>            Gyu blinked and looked around.</p><p>            “What?”</p><p>            “<em>OUT, Gyu.</em> I’m going back.”</p><p>            Gyu scrambled to his feet and followed the order, protesting: “You can’t go back, Tora, Vincent’ll…”</p><p>            “<em>Fuck Vincent</em>,” Tora growled. “Get out of the car. Keep ya head down and find somewhere safe ta hide.”</p><p>            And then Tora was slamming the back door closed behind Gyu and jumping into the front, driving away with the front door still half-open, and Gyu stood bleeding on the crowded sidewalk. Everyone around him gave him a wide berth. He watched Tora drive away, and then, wincing, raised a hand to cover his Balthuman mark.</p><p>            <em>I gotta hide</em>, Gyu thought, his thoughts flickering briefly to Martin’s control of the city, trying not to think of Tora speeding back to the mansion, and whatever greeting would await him there.</p><p>---</p><p>            Love and fear, fear and love. Which of these was the stronger? The answer made itself clear in the blue car careening down a quiet road towards a house. Death floated behind it like a song, drifting closer—but for who?</p><p>            Tora had never felt a fear like he felt for Vincent. From early childhood he had been crushed by it. He was like a wild horse that Vincent had broken to ride, and fear was the saddle.</p><p>            But Tora had never felt a love like he felt for Poppy. That love had crashed over him and rewritten everything he thought he knew about life. Every expectation for his future, every action he took each day. Love had eased the weight of what rode him.</p><p>            He made one call as he drove.</p><p>            “Tora?” Jae answered.</p><p>            “Jae. Listen. Get Quincey out of th’ house.”</p><p>            “What’s going on? Someone said Gyu was—”</p><p>            “Vincent has Poppy.”</p><p>            “He…what?”</p><p>            “Quincey isn’t gonna wanna see this. Get him out.”</p><p>            Tora hung up the phone.</p><p>            He parked at the edge of the estate, out of sight of the gate and the guards. He scaled the wall quickly, his fingers grabbing into the notches between each stone. Time had worn down the mortar of the wall and made his climb fast. He vaulted over the top and crouched on the ground for a moment, watching, then approached the back of the house at a run.</p><p>            The garden door was locked. Tora kicked through the knob. A small, tucked-away curving stair had been built there, connecting the kitchen to the upper levels so that servants could appear and disappear without being seen. Tora barreled up it, bent almost double to fit, left hand on the wall for balance and the right holding a handgun.</p><p>            By the top of the stairs he encountered the first of Vincent’s guards. The man raised a pistol towards Tora, but Tora was standing close enough to fight back. The tiger twisted his right shoulder back and left shoulder forwards, narrowing the target of his chest. His left hand slammed up into the bottom of the gun, knocking it diagonally off course and taking control of its direction by the slide. He charged his weight forward and slammed his right elbow across the gunman’s face in a twisting motion like that of a hook.</p><p>            When the gunman stumbled back, Tora hit him again. The hand he had on the other man’s gun wrenched one way, then the other, snapping the finger that had rested in the trigger ring. He pulled the weapon out of his opponent’s hand, then slammed the grip of the gun hard into the man’s temple. The man went down and stayed down.</p><p>            Tora saw the next man coming at a run and pulling out a gun. He threw himself onto the ground out of the way of the incoming bullet while throwing his right hand towards the newcomer and firing into his forehead. Then he was back on his feet and charging down the hallway. More guards spilled into it.</p><p>            Vincent, anticipating Tora, had made one grave mistake. While Tora had driven away and back again, Vincent had picked a number of the clan members to remain nearby as back up in case Vincent’s personal guards were overwhelmed. The foolish oversight was that none of these men had been broken by Vincent like Tora had been; they feared him as any clan member feared his boss, but none of them had the same blind loyalty that Tora had once held for Vincent.</p><p>            Seeing the fierce man who had trained them battle his way down the hallway like a wildcat, like a tornado, many of the men Tora had educated turned and ran.</p><p>            Unfortunately, Tora had made a grave mistake as well. As he blocked a strike and then shoved his knuckles into an attacker’s nose, he did not spare any attention for a man who ran up behind him.</p><p>            Something slammed into the back of Tora’s head, and his vision turned suddenly to black as he collapsed.</p><p>---</p><p>            “…am I being sentimental?” Vincent said. It was the first thing Tora heard as he regained consciousness.</p><p>            His throat burned. He tried to look down and couldn’t, but the movement sent a flare of pain. A hand on his shoulder. A body behind him. There was a knife at his throat, then; he couldn’t see it but he would bet on it.</p><p>            He looked up. Vincent sat in a chair, holding a glass of whiskey. In Tora’s absence he’d poured another glass.</p><p>            Tora looked over. Poppy knelt on the floor across the room from him, shaking, a gun to her head. For a moment he forgot himself and shifted towards her, but the blade cut into his throat again. He could feel a single drop roll its way down his neck.</p><p>            “I don’t know,” Vincent continued. Tora wasn’t sure if Vincent was talking to Tora, or talking to himself. “I suppose Adin was right. I should have had you shot on sight. But then, after all the time I spent on you, to have you betray me… is it so strange that I would want to say goodbye?”</p><p>            Vincent stood and approached Tora, pulling a small, decorative knife out of his pocket. With a smile, he ran it down Tora’s face, opening a shallow vertical cut on the man’s cheek.</p><p>            Tora bit down on his teeth and said nothing. He looked at Vincent with an unparalleled hatred. He could hear Poppy whimpering.</p><p>            Tora knew he could not move without dying. He knew he could not move without Poppy dying. He knew this was it, the end. There was no hope left for him. Outmaneuvered. Checkmate. <em>So this is how it goes. </em></p><p>            “Poppy: I love ya. I never deserved ya. I’m sorry. <em>EAT A FUCKIN BAG OF DICKS, VINCENT.”</em></p><p>            “My, my,” said Vincent. “Maybe if you’d gotten that temper under control…”</p><p>            The door opened, and Vincent stood.</p><p>            “I told you not to let—Oh, Quincey. What are you doing here? I’m busy.”</p><p>            “Dad.” Tora couldn’t turn to see. But that was Quincey’s voice, shaking.</p><p>            <em>Fuckin’ Jae</em>, Tora thought, and pressed his eyes closed. <em>Poppy… God. Fuck. Poppy.</em></p><p>
  <em>            I should never have let her have her way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            I should’ve made her leave.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            She’s goin’ to die and it’s because of me. Fuck. Idiot.</em>
</p><p>            “You don’t want to watch this, Quinceton. I know you were fond of him.”</p><p>            “So Tora turned on you?”</p><p>            “Unfortunately, son. You really don’t need to be here for this.”</p><p>            Quincey approached his father, and Tora opened his eyes at the footsteps. Then he could see Quincey standing in front of him, next to Vincent.</p><p>            “Tora,” Quincey said. “I’ve always loved you like a brother. I wish this wasn't how things had ended.”</p><p>            But no sooner had Tora thought <em>–what</em>?; and Vincent had smirked… than Quincey, the pacifist, the romantic, raised a gun to his father’s head.</p><p>            “…you wouldn’t,” said Vincent in shock and disbelief. “You <em>never</em> had it in you.”</p><p>            “You’re right, Dad,” said Quincey. “I’ll never be like you. I <em>hate this</em>. But you’ve hurt too many people, and I’m not going to let you hurt anyone else.”</p><p>            Then there was a single crack of a gun that shook through the house like thunder.</p><p>            Vincent collapsed onto the ground in front of Tora.</p><p>            And so it was, with no warning, that young master Quincey ascended to the Balthuman throne with tears on his cheeks and his father's blood on his sweater.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Like a Constellation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Quincey makes a confession, and Poppy gets carried away</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fluffsmutt.</p><p>...raise your hand if you think you know what happens next. Ohhh, Poppy.... near death experiences just do things to a person.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Do you know what I was, how I lived? You know<br/>            what despair is; then<br/>            winter should have meaning for you.<br/> <br/>            I did not expect to survive,<br/>            earth suppressing me. I didn’t expect<br/>            to waken again, remembering<br/>            after so long how to open again<br/>            in the cold light<br/>            of earliest spring—<br/> <br/>            afraid, yes, but among you again<br/>                        <em>from </em><strong>Snowdrops, Louis Glück</strong></p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>            “Put down your weapons,” Quincey said. His voice was choked with emotion, but he enunciated each word clearly.</p><p>            For a moment that lasted for a breath but felt like eternity, nobody moved. A question hung in the air—would Vincent’s personal men turn on Quincey, or would they respect their new boss? Then the man who had held a gun to Poppy’s head lowered it. Then the knife moved away from Tora’s throat.</p><p>            Neither of them heard as Quincey thanked the guards and told them to leave. The moment the knife was gone from Tora’s throat, Tora charged across the room to tackle Poppy in a crushing hug that knocked the wind out of her.</p><p>            “Are ya hurt? Are ya okay?”</p><p>            “I’m fine, you’re bleeding…”</p><p>            The two whispered back and forth, hands shaking as they held each other. Tears leaked from Poppy’s eyes and she breathed in big, uncertain gasps, finally feeling secure in his arms.</p><p>            “Tora,” Quincey said.</p><p>            “I thought we were dead,” Tora whispered to Poppy.</p><p>            “I know, me too… but we’re alive, it’s over…” she said.</p><p>            “<em>Tora</em>,” Quincey said again.</p><p>            Tora kissed Poppy and whispered, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”</p><p>            And then Quincey’s hand was on Tora’s shoulder, and Tora turned to look at him. And then Tora and Poppy opened up their hug and enveloped Quincey in it, and for a moment all three were kneeling on the ground in a tangle of arms and tears, but then Quincey pulled back. He sniffled and wiped at a tear as Tora winced.</p><p>            “I got blood on ya. Sorry,” Tora said, raising a hand to hover above the shallow cut on his cheek.</p><p>            Quincey shrugged. “I had it on me already. But look—you need to get out of here, now. Both of you.”</p><p>            Tora looked at Poppy and thought how delicate she looked and how frightened; he wrapped his hands around hers and wanted nothing more than to take her from this place. But Quincey had just saved their lives. Tora took a deep breath.</p><p>            “Ya going to need help settling all this,” Tora said.</p><p>            Quincey smiled.</p><p>            “No, I’m not. But you need to leave <em>now</em>, honey. The police are on their way.”</p><p>            “The police?” Tora blinked. Then his eyes widened. “Vincent thought… there was a mole. Quincey…?”</p><p>            The blonde man had the grace to look embarrassed, even through the tears, the blood, and the trauma.</p><p>            “Surprise,” he said weakly. “Jae and I started talking to them after I heard what Dad did to you. Well, I was <em>going</em> to tell you before they came, but then you were fighting Dad, so I told them to come now.”</p><p>            “…You?” Tora said again, disbelieving. “Then why not just wait for them to…”</p><p>            “He was going to kill you. There was no time to wait. We can talk about this later,” Quincey said, straightening to his feet. “So, stop looking at me like that and <em>go</em>.”</p><p>            “But don’t you need to run, too?” Tora said mindlessly, looking around the room. His eyes froze on Vincent’s corpse, then went back to Quincey.</p><p>            “Don’t be silly, honey. I have immunity. I’ll call you when it’s over. <em>Go.</em>”</p><p>---</p><p>            They were a few miles from the mansion when a fleet of heavily armored vehicles tore past them. A loud chopping noise overhead was a helicopter. Tora gripped the steering wheel with one hand and stared straight ahead.</p><p>            His other hand was being held by Poppy. And <em>her</em> other hand was dabbing at the cut on his face with a pack of tissues she’d had in her coat pocket.</p><p>            “I don’t think it’s bad, but there’s so much blood,” she said.</p><p>            “Cuts on ya face tend to do that,” Tora said. “It’ll stop soon.”</p><p>            They passed the last police vehicle, and Tora and Poppy both exhaled in relief.</p><p>            “Shit. I forgot about Gyu,” Tora said. “We gotta find him. Fuck.”</p><p>            “What? Find him?”</p><p>            “That’s right, you don’t…” Tora took a breath and tried to condense the whole story. “Well, Vincent found out he was tryin’ to get passports, so I pretended to kill him and then I tried to go pick ya up so we could run away, but ya weren’t there, so I dumped him by ya work and came back.”</p><p>            “You pretended to kill him? What does that…”</p><p>            “There was a lot happening. Can ya call him?”</p><p>            Gyu didn’t answer.</p><p>            “Shit. Might not have his phone.” Tora glanced over at Poppy. She had put down the phone and was pressing the last wad of bloody tissues against the cut, hoping pressure would stop the bleeding. “What happened to ya? They grabbed you?”</p><p>            “Yeah. It was scary. But apart from the, you know, threat of death, I’m fine.”</p><p>            They cruised the blocks around Giant Goldfish, trying to figure out where to start searching. Poppy pointed out a park. There was a large figure, not a child, huddled under some of the playground equipment. The playground itself was empty: winter.</p><p>            They got out of the car and ran to Gyu, who was shivering in the cold.</p><p>            “You’re alive,” Gyu said in wonder through chattering teeth. “The big boss…”</p><p>            “Dead. C’mon.” Tora helped him up and they walked back to the car.</p><p>            Poppy looked up a clinic in her phone as Tora began to drive. In the backseat, Gyu rested his head against the window and stared blankly out of it.</p><p>            “Tora?” Gyu said after a moment.</p><p>            “Yeah?” Tora flicked on a turn signal and palmed the steering wheel.</p><p>            “Can you take me to my mom’s instead?”</p><p>            “Sure, kid. Just tell me where ta drive.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Tora’s old apartment was frigid; the temperature had been turned down just high enough to keep the pipes from freezing. Tora adjusted the thermostat as Poppy found his old first-aid kit. Tora had not owned many creature comforts, but basic first aid was something he needed frequently. Sitting on the couch, she disinfected the cut on his cheek. She taped a piece of gauze over it. Then she cleaned the welt on his throat, which had barely broken the skin and had stopped bleeding before they had even left the mansion. A band-aid went on his neck where the cut had broken.</p><p>            Poppy didn’t really need medical care, but she’d scraped a knuckle and he was overwhelmed by the need to care for her, too. He held her hand in his and wiped the scrape with one of the disinfectant cloths.</p><p>            “What a pair we make,” he said.</p><p>            “Is it really over?” Poppy wanted to know.</p><p>            “I think so. I don’t know about Martin, but… Vincent’s gone. Forever.” There was a note of wonder at his voice as he turned this idea over. Gone. <em>Gone</em>.</p><p>            “So we don’t need to leave the country?” She asked.</p><p>            “I think we can stay.”</p><p>            “Thank goodness.”</p><p>            “You never wanted ta leave, did ya?” Tora asked.</p><p>            “Of course not. Narin is home.”</p><p>            “But you were going to.”</p><p>            “Yes. To be with you.”</p><p>            He kissed her tenderly.</p><p>            “Then I’m glad we can stay,” said Tora.</p><p>            “Well, maybe not in Narin city…?” Poppy asked. “After everything that happened—”</p><p>            “I’ll live anywhere ya want, Bobby. But I have somethin’ else in mind for right now.”</p><p>            The heat was not yet up, and he grabbed a lumpy old blanket from a closet and threw it on the bed. Then they lay down together, fully clothed apart from shoes and the coats they had been wearing, and pulled the blanket over them against the cold. Poppy wore a work outfit; Tora was clothed in black jeans and a green long-sleeved shirt.</p><p>            Tora took one of Poppy’s hands, and drew her wrist to his lips. He kissed it slowly.</p><p>            “I thought I was gonna lose ya today,” he said.</p><p>            “So did I,” Poppy whispered, her fingers curling around his hand.</p><p>            He moved his lips to the base of her thumb and kissed her there. Then kissed the back of her hand.</p><p>            Then her forearm. Then his lips were pressing softly against the inside of her elbow. Tora kissed a freckle on her upper arm.</p><p>            Poppy kissed his forehead, but he could not be distracted from his mission. He tugged down her silky blouse to kiss her collarbone, and then the side of her neck, and then, tilting his head, the underside of her chin.</p><p>            He kissed her ear.</p><p>            He kissed her cheek.</p><p>            She smiled and shuddered with relief and delight as he pressed his lips gently against hers and ran his hands down to the base of her work shirt to draw it up over her head.</p><p>            Poppy tried to disrobe him as well, but Tora was as unmovable as a rock. His kisses covered her like a constellation of stars while his hands slowly roamed over every inch of her, as if checking that she was really in one piece.</p><p>            He kissed the gentle swell of one breast, then the space between them. He kissed her ribcage; kissed the spot of her chest where her heart thumped softly. Tora kissed where her hips narrowed, and where they flared. He kissed her bellybutton. Buried deep under the blankets, his lips sought and found where her skin met her pencil skirt and kissed along the line.</p><p>            Then he found the zipper along the side of the skirt, and slowly drew it down. Poppy tugged at him, trying to bring him back up where she could kiss him too. He would not move.</p><p>            He peeled back the skirt and eased it down off of her, lifting her hips slightly off the bed to do so.</p><p>            He kissed her thigh where it met her torso. He shifted slightly and kissed the other thigh.</p><p>            Then Poppy had had enough, or perhaps not enough, but if she could not pull Tora back up then she would go to him. Burrowing down under the blankets, she slipped under his hands until she could press her face against his. She wrapped her hands around him and kissed him hungrily with open lips; he kissed back and did not pull his lips away. They spoke without sound, responding to each other’s mouths as they pressed against each other, soft, then hard, then tilting their heads and to explore a new angle…</p><p>            Poppy drew Tora’s shirt up and he lifted his hands off her and above his head. She traced the muscles of his back. She wrapped a hand around one shoulder, feeling the iron muscles shift under the surface as he moved his hand down along her back and pulled her body against his. Their kisses deepened. As they moved against each other they slowly worked their way back up the bed until they were no longer buried under the darkness of the blankets.</p><p>            “I love you,” Tora pulled his face away to say. Then he was kissing her shoulder and working his lips down the arm he had not gotten to before.</p><p>            “I love you too,” Poppy replied. She unbuttoned his jeans. He helped kick them off and held her face between his hands.</p><p>            “I love you,” Tora said again.</p><p>            Poppy giggled. “I love you too!” she replied, again.</p><p>            Tora kissed her. His hair had gotten loose from its tie and flew messily around his head and across his face. She brushed it away from his mouth and he kissed her again.</p><p>            “I <em>love</em> you,” Tora said a third time, his fierce amber eyes locking on her soft brown ones.</p><p>            “I know,” Poppy said, laughing.</p><p>            “<em>I love</em>—” she cut him off with a kiss and reached down to slip into his boxers. His cock was stiff and waiting for her, the shaft warm and eager in her small hand. She pulled her lips away from Tora, and he finished the thought by moaning “…<em>you.”</em></p><p>            Poppy ran her hand up and down his length as he unfastened her bra and drew it away from her, then reached a hand down to peel off the bikini-cut underwear, her final covering.</p><p>            Poppy gasped as his cold fingers parted her legs and hunted for her opening. And in no time his fingers were warm and wet with her, slowly exploring her as if he had never touched her before. He pulled her on top of him and Poppy hung over him. She balanced on her knees and one hand, the other still rubbing his cock as Tora’s breath deepened and his eyes closed in pleasure.</p><p>            One of his hands kept slicking in and out of her, the thumb rubbing at her clit. Poppy moaned and rocked against his fingers, and his other hand went to the back of her head. He drew her face down and their foreheads connected. Both closed their eyes and moaned and breathed, touching each other.</p><p>            When he felt the pleasure begin to build too high, Tora rolled Poppy onto her back and disappeared back beneath the covers. He followed her curves down to the place between her legs, where he buried himself and filled his mouth with the taste of her.</p><p>            Running his tongue first along the folds of her opening, he moved up and circled her clit, then kissed. He worked himself to a steady rhythm, rubbing the nub under his tongue and pushing his fingers in and out of her. Poppy moaned and rocked against him.</p><p>            Her cries thrilled him. Even though she wasn’t touching him, he moaned back. His mouth hummed against her and she clenched every muscle in her body, then arched, then relaxed with a sweet, loud, cry.</p><p>            His lips aching from the work, he pressed a kiss to the inside of one of her thighs, then the other, and then returned to try and build her pleasure again.</p><p>            “I came,” Poppy gasped.</p><p>            “Gonna make ya come again,” Tora said from under the blankets, his voice a low rumble. He kissed at her and ran his tongue in slow, careful circles.</p><p>            “Nn…get inside me,” Poppy pleaded with a gasp.</p><p>            “Can’t,” Tora said, and kept going.</p><p>            “Can’t?”</p><p>            He pulled his head away and lifted the blanket to look at her.</p><p>            “Condoms’r back at the mansion,” he explained. He had not carried one in his wallet for a while, since unless Poppy was at work, they had not left the estate in months. The last time he had pulled a condom from his pocket, he had not bothered to replace it.</p><p>            Tora lay his head back down against her thigh, giving his tongue a break and letting his fingers take over. She pushed the blanket down so she could look at him. The air was chill and her nipples hardened as he stared at them.</p><p>            “But…” Poppy said, as her moans began to build up once more under his hand. “But…”</p><p>            “I can go buy some if ya want,” Tora whispered. “But I’m fine…I just want to feel ya.” Feeling rested, he returned his mouth to her.</p><p>            “I need you in me,” Poppy whimpered, desire making her desperate. “I need to feel you.”</p><p>            “You are feeling me,” he whispered back.</p><p>            “No. Your…” her head tilted back as she moaned long and low.</p><p>            “My cock?” Tora whispered with a smile, before rubbing her with his tongue again.</p><p>            “Uh-huh,” Poppy said.</p><p>            “Okay, sweetheart. I’ll go to the store.” He began to get up.</p><p>            “No,” Poppy said.</p><p>            Tora sighed.</p><p>            “It’s up to you, love,” he said. “Just tell me—”</p><p>            “Just get in me,” she begged.</p><p>            “Now? But…”</p><p>            “I don’t care,” said Poppy. “I want you in me.”</p><p>            Tora gulped and rose up over her, looking her in the eyes and searching there to see if she knew what she was saying.</p><p>            “Are ya sure, Poppy? I thought ya weren’t so certain, about the future.”</p><p>            “I am if you are,” Poppy said. “Just once, Tora. Just this once.”</p><p>            “Once is…”</p><p>            “Please,” she said. She kissed his trembling lips, tasting herself on him. She reached down and wrapped a hand around his cock.</p><p>            “Are <em>you </em>okay with this?” She said.</p><p>            Tora nodded and touched a hand to her face. “I’m fine. I just don’t want ya to regret it.”</p><p>            “I won’t,” Poppy said, and guided him into her.</p><p>            Pleasure. Overwhelming pleasure, like nothing Tora had ever felt or known in his life. He had never <em>not</em> worn a condom. The sensation was a hundred times sharper, clearer. He could <em>feel</em> her. He buried himself in her as his eyelid flickered closed. He groaned and pushed as deep as he could, filling her.</p><p>            Poppy wrapped her legs around him, hugging her hips up against him. He rested on his elbows, body low over hers; chest pressed against chest, lips locking on hers for a moment before he moved his head away and over her shoulder.</p><p>            He pumped in and out of her. The pleasure was too intense. He couldn’t kiss her, couldn’t touch her; couldn’t think. Just desire. Just move. His brain filled with fire, with need and joy. He rammed himself into her and into her again and moaned, and cried out, and then it was over too soon. Tora spilled himself deep inside Poppy.</p><p>            “Sorry,” he apologized a minute afterwards. “I wanted to last longer, I just… that felt…”</p><p>            “Don’t. It was perfect.” Poppy pulled him back down on top of her and held him against her.  </p><p>            “Did it feel different for you?” Tora asked when another moment had passed.</p><p>            “A little. Not too much. For you?”</p><p>            “A lot,” he admitted.</p><p>            “Oh. Wait. I need to…” Poppy’s eyes widened; she could feel his semen sliding out of her. That was a different from a condom. “Hold on.” She went to clean up and came back shivering; the room had risen some fifteen degrees since they began, but it was still too cold to be naked with her feet on the floor. She slipped in beside Tora and he helped to warm her back up.</p><p>            “If you really liked that, I could go on birth control,” Poppy offered after she was appropriately warm.</p><p>            “Okay,” Tora said. “But… I thought ya meant. I thought ya wanted…”</p><p>            “Sorry,” Poppy said, blushing. “I know that was… stupid of me. I just… I really felt like I needed you. After everything we went through today.”</p><p>            “Poppy? …What happens if ya get pregnant?”</p><p>            “I… probably won’t,” she said. “I mean, couples spend months trying. Longer. We just did it once. And I think my cycle is…anyways, probably…”</p><p>            Tora wasn’t so sure about her logic, but he shrugged it off. After all, Poppy was always the smart one. If she was sure it was fine, it was fine.</p><p>            And if she was wrong, Tora didn’t think that was such a bad thing. Vincent was gone. They could do whatever they wanted.</p><p>            Tora closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Poppy’s forehead. He was hungry, but dinner could wait. He wasn’t ready to let her out of his arms.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. The Sea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tora finally goes to the ocean for the first time in his life</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Poor babies deserve some fluff after all that violence, huh?</p><p>My greedy little heart would love to know if you have favorite moments xD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shorn, I rejoice in what was taken from me.<br/><br/>What can the moonlight do with my new shape<br/>But trace and retrace its miracle of order?<br/>. . .<br/>Somewhere what I lost I hope is springing<br/>To life again.<br/>            <em>from </em><strong>The Pruned Tree, Howard Moss</strong></p><p>
  <strong>---</strong>
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</p><p>They were awoken in the morning by Quincey calling Tora’s phone.</p><p>            “Are you downstairs? Can you come up here?” Quincey asked.</p><p>            They clothed themselves. After Tora locked the door behind them, Poppy tugged him down for a kiss.</p><p>            Upstairs, Quincey was sitting on his couch. His face was pale and ashy. He sat cocooned in a quilted blanket. Jae was in the kitchen boiling water and rummaging through a cabinet to find tea.</p><p>            “Are you okay?” Poppy asked, concerned, coming to kneel in front of Quincey. He smiled at her.</p><p>            “Yeah, honey. It was just a really… really hard day.”</p><p>            “We just got back an hour ago,” Jae informed them as he exited the kitchen and handed Quincey a mug of a steaming hot liquid. “Tea?” Jae asked them. Tora and Poppy both nodded.</p><p>            “What happened after we left?” Tora asked. Jae went to fix two more mugs.</p><p>            Quincey drew in a deep breath. “They arrived so fast I barely know what happened. They handcuffed us all and they didn’t let me go for <em>hours</em>, even though I kept saying I was the one who—well, anyways, when they took us away I saw them carrying out all the equipment and taking pictures. We were in a cell until just a little bit ago, when they finally let Jae and me go.”</p><p>            “I’m glad you’re okay,” Poppy said, and put a hand on Quincey’s arm. “Thank you. For saving us. I’m sure that was really hard.”</p><p>            “Oh, no. My dad…” Quincey had to stop and swallow a rise of emotion before he could continue. “Dad took…” he turned to Tora. “I feel like he took everything from you. So I… I’m so sorry I didn’t do something sooner. I really didn’t know.”</p><p>            “Not ya fault,” Tora said with an embarrassed shrug. “But next time either of us gets a big plan, let’s share it, yeah?”</p><p>            Quincey giggled, some color returning to his cheeks. “Yeah. Promise. But there’s something else I have to do. Tora…”</p><p>            Their eyes locked, and Quincey took a deep breath.</p><p>            “You are officially fired. There <em>will</em> be severance pay. Eventually. After we learn how much is being confiscated and I sort out dad’s accounts.”</p><p>            The emotion of the moment was interrupted by Poppy’s phone beginning to ring.</p><p>            “Son of a monkey,” Poppy said. “Sorry. Gil called me a dozen times yesterday but I forgot to…” she got up to walk away and take the call, but Quincey grabbed her elbow and took the phone from her. He hit answer.</p><p>            “Hiiii, Gil? Yes, sorry, this is Q.B. Noyouko… didn’t mean to presume but I saw the name, Poppy’s asleep, she was up late helping me… family tragedy… oh, thank you, no, my father just died, very sudden, I was a mess all night… just have to say, what a pleasure being at a small publisher that takes such good care… oh, I hope I didn’t get Poppy into trouble, how upsetting it would be if she got in trouble for being so selfless… thank you, I really was a mess…. Thank you Gil… I’m going to borrow her a few days longer, so much to sort out here… thank you, Gil… should she call you back? No? Okay, you’re a peach, honey. Tata.”</p><p>            Quincey hung up the phone and handed it back with a yawn.</p><p>            “I’m going to sleep as soon as I finish this,” he informed them both. “Take a few days off, Poppy. If Gil gives you trouble, I’m walking away from Goldfish and taking you with me.”</p><p>---</p><p>            “…spend all day in bed?” Tora asked as they left.</p><p>            “As nice as that sounds…” Poppy kissed him. “I’d kind of like to go somewhere.”</p><p>            “Where?” Tora asked.</p><p>            “I don’t know. But we were stuck in that house so long, Tora. I just want to do something fun with you.” She blushed. “Not that staying in <em>wouldn’t</em> be fun, I mean.”</p><p>            “I get it,” he said, the corner of his mouth turning up. “So, a day trip? Where do you want to go?”</p><p>             “Well, for starters, I have no clothes that aren’t filthy, and I can’t exactly stroll into the mansion for a change,” Poppy said.</p><p>            “So shopping?”</p><p>            “Just for something to wear today,” she said. “To get clean. That’s all. And after…” she tilted her head to one side, then the other, thinking. “Hmm… didn’t you say you always wanted to go to the beach?”</p><p>            Tora took a deep breath, blinking. The beach? It was such a complicated memory.</p><p>            “Can we? Just do that?”</p><p>            “Well, why not?”</p><p>            “But people don’t go to the beach in winter,” Tora said, looking for some excuse. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go, or even that he was afraid. It was that a part of him still didn’t believe he <em>could</em> go to the beach. Even all those years later, he never had.</p><p>            “Well, it’s still <em>there</em> in winter,” Poppy said with a laugh. “What do you think? It only takes a few hours by car. I bet we could make it in time for lunch, if I go get something to wear right now.”</p><p>            “…okay,” said Tora, and smiled. “Yeah. Okay.”</p><p>---</p><p>            The public parking lot was on the far side of the dunes. Driving up to it afforded no view of the ocean. Tora opened the door and immediately tilted his nose up to catch the briny air.</p><p>            “What’s that smell?” he asked.</p><p>            “The sea,” Poppy told him. They both got out of the car. The wind was fierce and snapped at their hair; they both took a minute to tie theirs more tightly and to zip up their winter coats.</p><p>            “Come on,” said Poppy. She grabbed his hand and led him at a jog up the sand-dusted wood plank boardwalk that led from the lot up through the dunes.</p><p>            At the top, a gasp escaped Tora’s lips and his hand dropped from hers.</p><p>            The winter sky was grey and low. A few black specks of birds drifted in the far distance.</p><p>            The sea was storm-blue and stretched into infinity. No photo could match how far that landscape sprawled; the eye traveled flat to the end of its range in every direction he looked. The beach was empty of people. It was utterly still and yet full of movement. The waves rolled and crashed against the shore. The dune grass wavered in the wind.</p><p>            “Pretty, right?” Poppy asked. Tora nodded. He didn’t move, and she had to tug his hand again to get him off the dune walk and onto the shore itself.</p><p>            “Okay, I know it’s freezing and we are <em>going </em>to regret it, but you can’t say you went to the beach if you didn’t get your toes wet. C’mon.” Poppy bent down at the edge of the walk to unlace her shoes. A second later, Tora joined her. They stuffed their socks into their shoes, and then Poppy rolled up the legs of her new pants. Tora copied her.</p><p>            “Are you ready? It’s going to be cold. Like, <em>cold</em>.”</p><p>            Tora nodded enthusiastically.</p><p>            “Then c’mon! Last one in…” but he was already past her, faster than she could ever hope to match.</p><p>            In one last leap, Tora plunged ankle-deep into a swirl of foaming water and screamed.</p><p>            “<em>FUCK</em> that’s cold!” he bellowed, and then yelped as a wave slammed against the shore and sprayed everything below his knees with water. Poppy was just catching up and towed him a little way back, shrieking as the cold water hit her feet too. He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up, then spun in a circle with Poppy clasped against him.</p><p>---</p><p>            Toes as dry as they could get them with the bath towel Poppy had thought to pack, they stuffed their sandy feet back into their shoes.</p><p>            “One thing about sand,” Poppy told him. “It gets <em>everywhere.</em>”</p><p>            Tora nodded seriously, filing away that fact.</p><p>            They found a ramen shop for lunch with a window that overlooked the sea. It sat at the lip of a small beach town with colorful doors and surf shops. Quiet now, but it must have bustled in the summer with tourists.</p><p>            The restaurant had no printed menu, just a chalkboard with specials. They ordered and sat catty-corner at a small table. Tora stared out the window at the ocean until Poppy reminded him his food was getting cold. The hot broth did wonders to return warmth to their bones.</p><p>            “Poppy? What would ya think about living here?”</p><p>            “Here?”</p><p>            “Or somewhere like here,” he said.</p><p>            “Hm.” She thought about it seriously. “I bet Gil <em>would</em> let me go entirely remote…”</p><p>---</p><p>            The rental truck was finally packed with everything they wanted from their three homes: Poppy’s apartment, now empty and returned to the landlady; Tora’s apartment, half-empty and handed over to Quincey; the room they had shared at the mansion, stripped of everything but furniture.</p><p>            Poppy had gone for coffee with Jacob and Gil, and for a long, emotional lunch with Erdene. Tora had spent a whole afternoon at Alice’s, helping her with handywork until she swatted at him and told him to go live his young-person life. There was only one set of goodbyes left to say.</p><p>            “This is so sad,” Quincey wailed as he hugged them goodbye.</p><p>            The five of them stood together at the edge of the estate. A newly-erected sign read:</p><p> </p><p>Q.B. NOYOUKO HOME</p><p>FOR TROUBLED CHILDREN</p><p> </p><p>            “At least Gyu and Jae aren’t leaving me,” Quincey said, dabbing at his tears. Gyu had agreed to help out with the rowdy youth once Quincey’s non-profit opened.</p><p>            “Don’t try’n guilt me, dick,” Tora said.</p><p>            “I’m not. I’m just sad. You’ll keep in touch, won’t you, honey?”</p><p>            “Quince, it’s not even that far. You can visit anytime you want. Hell, I hope you will.”</p><p>            “Hold him to that. I’m staying with you for a week during beach season. No, two weeks,” Quincey said, jabbing Poppy with a finger. “And <em>you </em>better not think moving away means less proofreading.” She giggled and smiled.</p><p>            “Of course not, Quincey. I’ll be just an email or phone call away, 24/7.”</p><p>            “Are ya sure you’ll be okay with… Martin?” Tora asked, a note of concern entering his voice. “You haven’t heard anything from him?”</p><p>            Quincey shrugged. “He can <em>have</em> Ares street. I can’t possibly be of interest to him now.”</p><p>            “Besides,” Jae grumbled. “It’s not like you’re leaving him unprotected.”</p><p>            “True. Take care of each other,” Tora said.</p><p>            “You too, big bro,” Gyu said, giving Tora a fist bump and Poppy a giant hug.</p><p>---</p><p>            The apartment was small, shabby, and moldy. The floors creaked, and the landlord was honest enough to tell them they would want to put out bowls or buckets when it rained. Neither Poppy nor Tora cared. There had been an immediate vacancy and they wanted a home. Best of all, it was on a high enough floor that the living room window showed them a snippet of the sea.</p><p>           Tora did the heavy lifting with the furniture while she hung up art and unpacked kitchen supplies.</p><p>            “Don’t put anything there,” he told her, wiping sweat off his face and pointing above his nightstand.</p><p>            “Sure,” Poppy said, and didn’t.</p><p>            Later, she found the small painting of the tiger with the tulips, taped proudly up against the wall at a slight angle.</p><p>---</p><p>            A few days later Tora came barreling home.</p><p>            “Poppy! Hey!”</p><p>            “What? What?” she said, startled, throwing up her brush and splattering red paint where she had not meant to splatter red paint. Poppy scowled and did her best to scrape it off.</p><p>            “I got a job,” he said, leaning against the door frame to the room she was in with a huge grin on his face.</p><p>            “You did?”</p><p>            “Uh-huh.”</p><p>            “Wow! That’s absolutely amazing! And so fast!”</p><p>            It wasn’t technically his first job, if you considered his career in the clan… but then again, it also was. Certainly, it was his first interview. The first offer he had a choice about. The first line to be proud of on a very scant resume that—if truth be told—was a little falsified with help from Quincey.</p><p>            “Construction?” she asked. He’d said he would do anything, but something in the idea of putting homes together appealed to him lately. He’d mentioned it more than once.</p><p>            “Uh-huh. They’re behind on some rental homes that need ta be fixed up before summer, so they need an extra hand. They don’t mind teachin’ me.”</p><p>            She put down her brush and went to him for a kiss.</p><p>            “Then we have to celebrate,” she told him.</p><p>            “Tonight. Right now I have ta go buy boots. And a hammer. And gloves,” he said. “Okay, I’m gonna go do that. I’ll be back.”</p><p>            “I love you!” she called after him as he raced back out of the apartment. Poppy chuckled and shook her head as the door slammed behind him.</p><p>---</p><p>            A little after the new year, Poppy scrolled through her phone calendar and nibbled anxiously at the end of one of her braids. She did some simple math in her head.</p><p>            She couldn’t wait any longer. She needed answers. Tora was at work and would be for a few more hours still. It was the perfect time to figure this out. She would tell him either way, but she wanted to know for herself and figure out her thoughts before they had that conversation.</p><p>            She put on her coat and walked to the convenience store down the block.</p><p>            “Um, excuse me,” Poppy said at the counter, as a blush crept over her cheeks. “Sorry to bother you, but… do you happen to sell pregnancy tests?”</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Pirate King</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p> Poppy gives Tora the biggest news of his life. He gets a new tattoo and asks her a question.         </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you're tired of fluff, too bad. That's all I got left. -hurls cotton candy-</p><p>Only one chapter left! This has been so much fun to work on.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is the best domestic perfume.<br/>You sit down to eat with a rumor<br/>of onions still on your twice-washed<br/>hands and lift to your mouth a hint<br/> <br/>of a story about loam and usual<br/>endurance. It’s there when you clean up<br/>and rinse the wine glasses and make<br/>a joke, and you leave the minutest<br/>whiff of it on the light switch,<br/>later, when you climb the stairs.<br/>            <em>from </em><strong>Onions, William Matthews</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>---</strong>
</p><p>Tora opened the door to the smell of onions and the sound of vegetables sizzling in oil.</p><p>            “Hey, how was work?” Poppy called.</p><p>            “Fine.” He pried off his work boots and went to the bathroom sink. His hands were grimy, with dirt under his short nails; his face was the same. <em>Better than blood</em>, he thought with a sigh as he scrubbed his hands and splashed water on his face. Dirty long-sleeved shirt into the laundry bin; clean tee-shirt on instead.</p><p>            He went to find Poppy. She was standing at the stove, her weight on her right foot as she bounced the toes of her left on the floor. She was wearing a baggy sweatshirt—one of his. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head.</p><p>            Tora came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, bending over to kiss her head.</p><p>            “Smells good,” he said.</p><p>            “Thanks.”</p><p>            She felt stiff in his arms. She didn’t turn to kiss him like she usually did.</p><p>            “Something wrong?”</p><p>            “…no,” Poppy said, and stirred the contents of the pan in front of her.</p><p>            Tora frowned. Letting go of her, he turned to lean his back against the kitchen counter, so he could see her face. She looked at him warily, then back at the stir-fry.</p><p>            “Did I say somethin’?” he wanted to know.</p><p>            “No.”</p><p>            “Did you have an okay day?”</p><p>            “Uh-huh.”</p><p>            “Well, did somethin’ happen?”</p><p>            “Sort of?” She glanced up at him again, her eyes wide.</p><p>            “Is it bad news?” he asked.</p><p>            “No? Maybe? I don’t think so.”</p><p>            “Fuck, Bobby. Ya gonna make me play twenty questions all night?”</p><p>            “No-oo,” she said, blushing and tapping the spoon on the side of the pan.</p><p>            “Then…”        </p><p>            “Just, we have to talk about something big, and… dinner’s almost done, okay? Can we wait until then?”</p><p>            “Fine.” He turned away from her, feeling a little hurt.</p><p>            “Can you set the table?” Poppy asked.</p><p>            “Yeah.” He retrieved cups, plates, and utensils and put them at the small kitchen table they had been eating at. A few minutes later she carried over a pot of rice and a fragrant pan studded with color.</p><p>            “Go ahead,” she said, but when he stared at her instead of serving himself, she heaped food onto his plate and then on to her own. Tora just kept staring.</p><p>            “Poppy, you got me shakin’ in my socks. Whatever it is, just spit it out.”</p><p>            “Ugh.” She lowered the spoon and buried her face in her hands for a moment, then peered at him from between her fingers. “Okay. Okay.” She lowered her hands and put them on either side of the table, taking a deep breath and exhaling through pursed lips.</p><p>            “Tora. Do you remember what happened, the night it all ended?”</p><p>            It had been nearly a month ago, but he knew what night she was talking about immediately.</p><p>            “What about it?” he asked.</p><p>            “How I said that probably nothing would happen…”</p><p>            She stared at him, pleading him to understand without her having to spell it out. At first he didn’t, and looked at her in confusion. Then a thought occurred to him. His eyes widened, then narrowed, then he took a deep breath.</p><p>            “Poppy. You aren’t…”</p><p>            She reached into the sweatshirt pocket and handed him a pregnancy test in a zip-lock bag.</p><p>            “So, it’s positive,” she said. “I mean, I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but…”</p><p>            He took it in one hand and stared at it, his lips slowly parting.</p><p>            “Tora?” Poppy asked.</p><p>            He didn’t answer. He just kept staring at the two pink lines and the little diagram that read PREGNANT.</p><p>            “Are you upset?” Poppy said at last, hunching over.</p><p>            “…am I… upset?” he whispered, and finally lifted his gaze away from the test to look at her with bewilderment. “I… you’re pregnant?”</p><p>            “Yeah.”</p><p>            “We’re havin’ a kid?”</p><p>            “Yeah, Tora.”</p><p>            “…I’m gonna be a dad?”</p><p>            “Yes.”</p><p>            He stood up from the table and pulled her out of her chair before she had time to process what was happening. Then they were both standing and he was crushing her in a hug, burying his face into the top of her head.</p><p>            “You aren’t upset?” Poppy’s voice was muffled, her face pressed against his chest.</p><p>            “Fuck no. Fuck no.” Tora pulled back from her, and then the next thing she knew he was pushing her back into her chair and crouching on the ground in front of her, and her hands were in his hands, and he was looking up at her with a frightening amount of love in his eyes.</p><p>            “Poppy… this is…” he shook his head and took a ragged breath. “Sorry, I… I don’t know how to… this is <em>everything.</em>” An unhappy thought blazed through his joy. “But, you… I mean, are you happy? You said you wanted to wait, on all the big stuff.”</p><p>            “Yeah, I did. But I <em>am</em> happy. I <em>do</em> want this. I just… I feel like I’m cheating you out of something. I wanted us to have time together first. You know, to be normal? And there’s so much you haven’t gotten to experience, and I wanted you to be able to just enjoy everything, and…” her voice was breaking as she rambled. He tightened his grip on her hands as she kept going. “…and… like, with going to the beach, you know? I wanted you to have… time, to explore… all the stuff you never…”</p><p>            Tora shook his head.</p><p>            “That doesn’t mean shit, Poppy,” he said softly. “All that stuff ya worried about, it doesn’t mean shit. Ya know what I really missed out on? What I really care about, now? <em>Family</em>.”</p><p>            She swallowed back her tears, looking at him pitifully, still somehow convinced that this wasn’t okay.</p><p>            “But we aren’t going to get any sleep,” she said. “And there’s going to be diapers. And crying. And we’re never going to have a moment to ourselves again.”</p><p>            But with every word she said the smile on Tora’s face was growing bigger.</p><p>            “If you don’t want this, we can talk about our options,” Tora told her. “But I <em>do</em> want this, Poppy. More’n anything.”</p><p>            “I want this too,” she whispered to him, and tore her hands away from him to wipe away her tears. “I want this too.”</p><p>            “Then stop freakin’ out about it.”</p><p>            “Right. Okay.” She sniffled. “Sorry. I think I’m hormonal.”</p><p>            He touched a hand against her stomach lightly.</p><p>            “You know there’s nothing to feel yet, right?” Poppy said.</p><p>            “Just because there’s nothin’ to feel doesn’t mean there’s nothin’ there.”</p><p>            She put her hand over his.</p><p>            “I guess instead of having time to ourselves now, we just get it later instead,” she mused with a nod. “More time to spend with our kids. More time alone after they leave the house.”</p><p>            “’Kids?’ ‘S?’” Tora asked with a smile.</p><p>            “Ack,” Poppy said again, and collapsed forward to put her head on his shoulder.</p><p>---</p><p>            There was too much to say that could not be expressed in words. They found themselves naked and in bed, Tora pulling Poppy down onto him. With his hands on her hips, he helped to raise and lower her. For a few glorious moments he was gazing up at her, at her breasts bouncing, at her lips parted in moans and her eyes closed tight in pleasure. Then she was falling forward onto him and he moved a hand up around her back. She was kissing him, and he was kissing her back. They moved together and gave new meaning to the term <em>make love.</em></p><p>            Dinner was cold by the time they emerged from the bedroom and finally settled down to eat. They held hands through the whole meal, and Tora insisted on washing the dishes. Then it was back to bed, just to talk and to hold each other. There was so much to talk about.</p><p>            “Poppy?” Tora asked, his head on her thighs and a hand resting again on her yet-unchanged stomach.</p><p>            “Mm?”</p><p>            “Last time we talked about marriage, you said ya wanted to wait.”</p><p>            “Yeah.” She sat up on her elbows.</p><p>            “Have ya waited long enough?”</p><p>            “Given the circumstances? I think so.”</p><p>            “I love ya. But I don’t want you to marry me just ‘cuz I got ya knocked-up. So if you aren’t sure about…”</p><p>            “That’s not how it is,” she said, shaking her head emphatically. “I’m sure, Tora. I’ve <em>been</em> sure. I just wanted us to enjoy all the little things first.” She giggled. “Apparently, life had other plans.”</p><p>            “You don’t have doubts about me?” he asked.</p><p>            “Of course not. I love absolutely everything about you. Well…” she raised a hand to trace along the Balthuman brand on the side of his neck. “Maybe not this. But everything that’s <em>you</em>. I don’t have doubts.”</p><p>            He caught her hand and pulled it to him to kiss it. He didn’t like that the Balthuman brand still marked him either, but it had been his life for so long. He hadn’t been considering doing anything about it until she said that.</p><p>            “Tora?”</p><p>            “Mm-hmm.” He was still thinking about the tattoo.</p><p>            “Does that mean we’re engaged?”</p><p>            “Hell no. I haven’t asked ya yet. Be patient.” He wrapped his fingers around her hand, just holding it.</p><p>            “This again?” she groaned.</p><p>            “Uh-huh. This again.”</p><p>            Time passed. Tora had almost dozed off lying like that when Poppy said:</p><p>            “I was thinking… about the baby? If… if we have a boy, would it be okay to name him after my dad?”</p><p>            “Of course, sweetheart.” He rose to lie beside her and pulled her into his arms. Then an idea occurred to him. Tora looked down at her. “But… for a middle name? Would ya think about Joe?”</p><p>            “That’s perfect.”</p><p>            “What if it’s a girl?” Tora asked.</p><p>            “I didn’t get that far,” Poppy said. “Any ideas?”</p><p>            “Maybe somethin’ new. Or Alice. That’s all I got.”</p><p>            “We’ll have to think on it,” said Poppy, and leaned in for a kiss.</p><p>---</p><p>            On Tora’s next day off, he informed Poppy he’d be out all day with errands. Hours later Poppy was shuffling through a manuscript as she balanced her phone between her ear and a shoulder.</p><p>            “I just don’t think you need that scene, Quincey. I mean, really. What’s it adding to the story?”</p><p>            Poppy paused and shifted the papers into one hand, taking hold of the phone with her other.</p><p>            “Well, fine, but then you need to do that in chapter five…. no, I know you like that scene. Yes, I know your fans expect… Seriously, Quincey? I am not! Don’t call me that!... well, then get me the next chapter and I’ll tell you what I think!”</p><p>            Poppy dumped the papers on her desk and put her free hand on her hip.</p><p>            “Well, I don’t think that… uh-huh. Uh-huh. No, I think it’s romantic either way… which is <em>better</em>?... Quincey, why do you need my personal opinion on… wait. Did Tora put you up to this?” she pulled the phone away from her ear for a moment as his voice rose and got louder, denying any involvement.</p><p>            “Yeah, <em>sure</em> it’s for your story. Look, just tell ‘<em>the pirate king’</em> he can pick out whatever ring he wants and not to spend too much money on it.” She rolled her eyes.</p><p>            “No, I won’t tell him you asked. Now stop trying to avoid your work. When are you getting those revisions to me?... I <em>know</em> the new book is more fun, but you can’t just abandon the old one… okay. Next Friday, at the latest.”</p><p>            The front door swung open. “Oh, Quincey. Tora’s home. I…” she pulled the phone away from her ear again as Quincey’s voice rose higher. “Tora, Quincey says hi.”</p><p>            “Hey Quince.” Tora finished hanging his coat up by the door and kicked off his sneakers.</p><p>            “Can I call you back?” Poppy said, and hung up a moment later. “Tora? Oh my god, are you okay?”</p><p>            There was a large bandage on the side of his neck that held the Balthuman brand. He put up a hand to cover it as Poppy rushed over to him, dropping her phone on the table as she passed it.</p><p>            “I’m fine,” he said, and swatted her hand away as she reached for him.</p><p>            “What happened?”</p><p>            “New tattoo,” he grumbled. “Just… leave it alone.”</p><p>            “New tattoo? Let me see.”</p><p>            She stood on tip-toe to reach the edge of the bandage.</p><p>            “Fuck, woman, leave it alone!” he cried.</p><p>            “Don’t be stubborn! I want to see!”</p><p>            “Stop! Poppy! Hey!”</p><p>            “C’mon!”</p><p>            Finally she won, and he glowered at her as she peeled back the edge of the bandage. There was no sign of the brand that had once marked him clan property. In its place, fluttering leaves curling inventively to disguise the marks they covered, a poppy flower bloomed on his neck. The edges were still raised and red from the tattoo gun.</p><p>            “Aw, you got a Poppy? For me?”</p><p>            “<em>Supposed</em> to be a surprise,” he grumbled, and let her smooth the bandage back into place.</p><p>---</p><p>            It was hard to find a good time to propose. The day after he got the ring, Poppy started feeling sick. She took frequent naps and subsisted on crackers and toast and rice. He brought home take-out from a fish shop down the street and was rewarded by her scrambling to the bathroom to heave up her guts at the smell.</p><p>            He went to work and tried to keep her comfortable. Poppy made a new friend when she went to a bookstore to pick up some pregnancy guides. Hana, a woman who lived a few blocks down, was due around the same time. <em>Good</em>, Tora thought. He was getting to know the guys at work, but since Poppy worked remotely her social interactions in their new town were minimal.</p><p>            Then a month had passed since they’d gotten the news, and Poppy’s appetite started to resume. Tora noted with interests that her breasts and stomach were starting to swell. She had a glow about her, too. It was impossible to keep his hands off her.</p><p>            It was only two weeks until valentine’s day and her birthday, but he didn’t want to wait any longer. He discreetly asked Hana if she would mind getting Poppy out of the house for a few hours. It worked; Poppy happily told him that she was going to get herbal tea with her friend and chat.</p><p>            Things did not work out quite how he had hoped.</p><p>            When Poppy returned to the building, Tora was sitting outside on the sidewalk. He hurriedly snuffed out his cigarette and sighed. The sky was growing dark with early night.</p><p>            “Tora?” Poppy asked.</p><p>            “…sorry,” he muttered, frowning.</p><p>            “Sorry for what?” She lowered herself to sit beside him, and he huffed and rubbed his face with one calloused hand.</p><p>            “I. Uh. I was trying ta surprise ya.”</p><p>            “Oh.” She glanced up at their top-floor apartment. Despite the cold February weather, the windows were open. “With what?”</p><p>            “I was gonna cook somethin’.”</p><p>            “You?” her eyes were wide. The last time he had tried to cook for her, she had instructed him not to try again; it had been more or less awful.</p><p>            “I read the recipe real closely this time,” he protested at her tone, but then withered, because she was right. “But I, uh. Might’ve. Started a fire.”</p><p>            “You <em>what?</em>”</p><p>            “I put it out!” he cried. </p><p>            “Oh my gosh,” Poppy said, and leaned her face against her knees. Tora blushed and looked away, miserable.</p><p>            “I’m sorry. I thought it’d be more romantic to do it at home.”</p><p>            “Do what at home?” She turned her head to him. He didn’t answer. “Tora, were you finally going to propose?”</p><p>            He still wouldn’t meet her eyes.</p><p>            “Just do it now,” she said.</p><p>            “Here’s not romantic,” he grumbled.</p><p>            “Sure it is. It’s the perfect moment.”</p><p>            “Poppy, no.”</p><p>            “If you keep waiting for things to be just right, this baby is going to come out of me first.”</p><p>            “Hey, c’mon. It hasn’t been that long.”</p><p>            “Easy to say, when you aren't the one waiting. Anyways, it’s cold. Let’s go in.”</p><p>            He trailed her meekly up the stairs. Poppy’s heart broke a little for him in the doorway. Unlit candles waited on all the tables. The smell of burnt hair wafted from the kitchen. A bouquet of roses was sitting on the couch.</p><p>            He pushed past her to snatch it, blushing, and grumbled: “…sorry. Shoulda cleaned up.”</p><p>            “Tora…” Poppy put a hand to her throat and looked around the room. “This is so sweet.”</p><p>            “I shoulda just gotten carry out,” he muttered, and tossed the flowers onto one of the candle-strewn tables before tugging down a window to latch it shut again.</p><p>            Poppy came up behind him and reached into his front pocket. The movement so near his crotch made him stir with desire, even as upset as he was feeling about screwing up the moment. But her fingers closed around his lighter. He turned and watched as she started to go around the room, lighting all of the candles.</p><p>            He shook his head and left the room to finish closing the other windows in the apartment.</p><p>            Poppy was standing in the middle of the room when he returned. The room flickered with two dozen little lights, dancing and sparkling and transforming their modest home into somewhere magical.</p><p>            “Really nice,” she told him. “I like it.”</p><p>            “Yeah?” He asked and scratched his neck. “I, uh. Sorry I got upset. I just… I was trying really hard for it ta be perfect.”</p><p>            “Come over here,” Poppy said, and he obeyed. She caught his hand and tugged his head down for a kiss. “It <em>is</em> perfect. Please don’t keep making me wait.”</p><p>            “Are you sure?” he whispered to her.</p><p>            “Uh-huh. I’m sure.”</p><p>            “Okay.”</p><p>            He kissed her once more and then lowered himself to one knee, his hands beginning to shake.</p><p>            “Poppylan?”</p><p>            She smiled, her eyes crinkling. He cleared his throat and kept going.</p><p>            “I, uh. I’m not one for speeches, but. I love you so much. And I never thought my life would be so good, or I’d be so excited about the future. Ya matter more to me’n anything else in tha’ world. Well, you, and. And our baby.” He swallowed and looked down to reach into his pocket.</p><p>            The ring was delicate, but sweet. A single small diamond winked up at her from a thin gold band. They’d had a lot of discussions about saving money for the baby, and Poppy was entirely relieved he hadn’t tried to impress her with something gaudier.</p><p>            “Poppylan Wilkes... Will ya marry me?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Butterfly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In a small chapel in Moonbright, on the anniversary of their first date, Poppy and Tora say "I do."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My goodness, y'all. I sat down to write a one-shot about Tora taking Poppy's virginity. 11 days later I'm wrapping up at over 60k words. How did this even happen??? Ah, the power of smut.</p><p>Thank you so much for reading. I have really enjoyed the comments.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            The minute I heard my first love story<br/>
            I started looking for you, not knowing<br/>
            how blind that was.<br/>
<br/>
            Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.<br/>
            They're in each other all along.</p><p>                       <strong>Poem 1246, Rumi</strong></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>---</strong>
</p><p>“Stop,” Tora said, “Just—fuck, stop.” He tore his hand away from Quincey again, but the blonde man was persistent and drunk.</p><p>            “Come o-on,” Quincey insisted. “Jaaa-ae, he’s being difficult!”</p><p>            “I said no strip clubs,” Tora growled, twisting his wrist away from Quincey again.</p><p>            “But it’s your bachelor party!” Quincey said. “Just go ii-in!”</p><p>            “Quincey, he doesn’t wanna go,” said Jae, his voice slurred a little but his demeanor still calm and composed. “S’okay. We’ll go somewhere…” Jae spun and pointed across the street. There was nothing there. He lifted his finger and pointed in a new direction, at another club sign. “Somewhere else.”</p><p>            Gyu hiccupped and passed a flask to Tora, who sighed and screwed the cap on before handing it back.</p><p>            “Hey, big bro?” Gyu said as he took it back. “You know that? That tall girl? With the purple hair? At the rehearsal?”</p><p>            “Erdene.”</p><p>            “What’s her deal?”</p><p>            “For the tenth time, Gyu, no.”</p><p>            “Plee-eaase,” Quincey said, grabbing Tora by the shoulders. “Plee-eeaase can we go in. I reserved a table.”</p><p>            “Fine. Fuck you,” Tora said. “Just see what kind of bachelor party I plan you, dick.” He stormed into the establishment as Quincey clapped and followed him, Gyu and Jae trailing behind.</p><p>            They paid the cover and entered a dark room where music thumped. The air smelled like flowers, sex, and sugar.</p><p>            Tonight was obviously a night for his friends, not for him. That much was clear by how it was going. Well, at least it was nice to see them all together again. He let Quincey tow him to a corner table and sat on the leather bench before getting out his phone to text Poppy.</p><p>            <em>Theyre all drunk already. All of them.</em></p><p>Then he looked up at the stage and cussed. “Are ya kiddin’ me?”</p><p>            “Oh, shit,” Jae said.</p><p>            “Candy!” Gyu yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. “I—<em>hic</em>—know her!”</p><p>            “Yeah, no,” said Tora. “I’m done. C’mon, we’re doing this my way.”</p><p>            They followed him back out of the building. Gyu complained because he wanted to stay. Quincey complained because he was drunkenly convinced a traditional bachelor party was just what Tora secretly wanted. Jae said nothing because he was also happy to leave.</p><p>            He herded them back into his car. Alice’s was still open. He hadn’t eaten sushi since before Poppy got pregnant. And a cup of green tea sounded just right.</p><p>---</p><p>            The window was stubborn, but Poppy tugged at it until it at last snapped open. She leaned out and looked up at the blue sky. The air was hot and sticky, but there was a light breeze. A butterfly drifted past. Poppy smiled up at the lazy clouds that drifted over Moonbright.</p><p>            <em>Dad. It’s been a while, huh?</em></p><p>
  <em>            I miss you all the time, but I really wish you could be here today, especially. I wish you could walk me down the aisle. But I know you’re watching, and I think you’d be really happy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>            You’d like Tora. Well, maybe not how he was when we first met, but… he’s going to be a really good dad. And he treats me so well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>            I miss you so much. I just want you to know I’m thinking of you, all the time.  </em>
</p><p>            She closed her eyes with a smile and pulled her head back inside. She shut the window against the summer heat. Erdene was laying out make up on another windowsill, since the chapel’s small side-room had little in the way of furniture.</p><p>            “Ready?” Erdene asked. Her purple hair was pinned up, and she wore a slinky pink dress that her chest tattoo poked up out of. Poppy sighed and nodded. She wasn’t normally jealous of Erdene’s beauty—they had different body types, that was all—but her tall friend looked so glamorous, and right now, Poppy felt like a whale. Or a guinea pig with a bowling ball strapped to its stomach.</p><p>            Getting married at six months pregnant wasn’t exactly ideal, and neither was planning it so quickly. But it meant their small wedding was also the anniversary of their first date, and that they could welcome their first child as a married couple.</p><p>            “Ready,” Poppy said, and lowered herself slowly onto the chair in front of Erdene.</p><p>            “Okay, hun. Close your eyes.”</p><p>            A cool hand came to rest against Poppy’s chin, holding her in place while Erdene rubbed various creams and goops into Poppy’s skin.</p><p>            “So you cancelled the first dance?” Erdene asked as she dusted blush across Poppy’s cheeks.</p><p>            “Uh-huh.”</p><p>            “You’re okay skipping it?”</p><p>            “Absolutely. My feet hurt all the time and I waddle when I walk. We can celebrate by eating. I told you the menu, right?”</p><p>            “Yes, Pops. More than once.” Erdene applied highlighter and moved onto the eyeshadow.</p><p>            “Sorry. I can’t stop thinking about food.”</p><p>            There was a moment of silence as the stormy-eyed woman put down one brush and picked up another.</p><p>            “Do you think anyone would notice if I took a piece of the cake right now?” Poppy asked.</p><p>            Erdene snorted, brush poised two inches from Poppy’s face.</p><p>            “Girl, do I think <em>anyone would notice</em> if you cut open your wedding cake and had a slice? Um, yeah. I think someone would notice. I think I have an apple in my purse?”</p><p>            “No, it’s okay. I’m just kidding.” Poppy sighed.</p><p>            “Poppy?” That was a new voice. Poppy’s eyes opened and looked over at the door. Her maid of honor, a childhood friend named Abby, had poked her head inside. “The best man wants a word.”</p><p>            “Oh my god, honey. You look like an angel,” Quincey said, pushing his way into the room. He was wearing a light grey suit and his hair was combed back.</p><p>            “It’s okay, Quincey. You don’t need to flatter me,” said Poppy, resting a hand against the dramatic swell of her belly and the bathrobe she was keeping on until makeup was done.</p><p>            “I’m not, sweetheart,” he said, and sniffled back a tear. “Oh, um. These are from Tora.”</p><p>            He offered her a letter and a muffin.</p><p>            “How did he know?” Poppy said, her eyes wide.</p><p>            “I think you grabbed the wrong letter,” Erdene said. “That one says ‘bob’ on it.”</p><p>            “Nope, that’s me,” Poppy said, and took both the letter and the pastry from Quincey. “Sorry, Erdene, Quincey, but could I have a moment alone to read this? Quincey, his letter is in my bag, would you mind getting it?”</p><p>            “You owe me a hug,” Quincey informed her. “I’m not going to mess up your hair right now, honey, but you owe me a hug.” He rustled through her purse until he found the letter with Tora’s name on it and waved goodbye. He and Erdene slipped out of the room.</p><p>            “Y…you ca…an come…b..back in,” Poppy informed Erdene and Abby a few minutes later.</p><p>            “Oh my god, Poppy. Stop crying or I’m going to have to start everything over again,” Erdene said, smiling so big Poppy knew Erdene wasn’t really mad. Abby helped wipe her tears away and then Erdene went back to the makeup.</p><p>            “What did it say?” Abby wanted to know.</p><p>            “His vows to me. It’s private,” Poppy sniffled.</p><p>            “Must have been good,” Abby said, and squeezed Poppy’s shoulder with a smile. Poppy nodded.</p><p>            After her makeup was done, the two of them helped Poppy into her dress. It was a lacy, fluttery white gown with thin straps that Poppy had picked more for comfort than anything else, but she had to admit she felt like a bride when she looked in the mirror.</p><p>            Her hair was a braided crown around her head, with soft tendrils that fell down around her neck. The makeup was perfect; Erdene had done some of her best work and even managed to disguise the effects that tears usually had on her face. Apart from simple earrings, her only jewelry was the poppy necklace Tora had given her when she became his girlfriend. Poppy touched a hand to it. The necklace was more playful than the rest of her look, but was also her favorite part.</p><p>            “I’m going to cry,” Abby said. “I can’t believe how grown up you are.”</p><p>            “I know, right?” Erdene said, putting the makeup back in her bag. “It’s crazy.”</p><p>            Another knock on the door. That was Poppy’s grandma, who kept changing her mind about the situation.</p><p>            “I want you to know I gave your groom a talking-to,” her grandma said, and Poppy laughed.</p><p>           "Oh no, Grandma. What did you say to him?”</p><p>            “I told him what I thought of him getting my granddaughter pregnant before marrying her, but at least he’s doing the right thing,” she told Poppy. “And, Poppy, he was very respectful. And what a big strong man. I can see why you like him,” she said, her voice lowering suggestively at the end. Erdene and Abby both giggled, hiding their mouths. “But he’s not some kind of roughneck, is he? With that hair, and those earrings, and that tattoo?”</p><p>            “Not at all, Grandma. He’s very gentle,” Poppy promised.</p><p>            “Good. Okay, I’m going to make sure all the tables are set up right,” her grandma said. “You look beautiful, dear.”</p><p>---</p><p>            Tora stood outside the chapel. He was on the opposite side of the building from Poppy’s room, just in case. From here he could see the tables set up on the lawn, each with a bouquet of pink tulips. He lifted his cigarette to his lips.</p><p>            Quincey leaned against the wall next to him.</p><p>            “Did I ask about baby names last night?” Quincey asked. “I don’t even remember.”</p><p>            “No,” Tora said.</p><p>            “So?”</p><p>            “We have some ideas. But we’re waitin’ to meet her first.”</p><p>            “I can’t wait to be an uncle,” Quincey said, with a happy sigh. “Are you nervous?”</p><p>            “For what?”</p><p>            “For today.”</p><p>            “Of course.” Tora dropped the butt and snuffed it out with his shoe before picking it up and dropping it into the cigarette box.</p><p>            “Cold feet?”</p><p>            “No. Not that kinda nervous.” Tora turned to head back inside.</p><p>            “Wait, I wanted to give you your gifts before we go in.” Quincey reached into his jacket pocket and drew out a few pieces of paper. “Okay, so I know you’re going to try and say no, but these are yours anyways, okay? I finally got all dad’s stuff sorted out, I think. So, first of all.”</p><p>            He handed Tora a check stapled to a realtor’s business card. Tora’s eyes widened at the amount.</p><p>            “What the fuck?” Tora said.</p><p>            “Now, that’s just the amount from our condos. I sold dad’s old house, too, and I’m keeping that, so don’t even try to argue. If anything, you should be asking me for more.”</p><p>            “Quince, this is…”</p><p>            “I want you to buy a home with this one. No, close your mouth. Your apartment is, um, charming, but my niece is not going to grow up in a leaky old wreck. And I know <em>you</em> don’t mind the stairs, but poor Poppy does not deserve to haul a stroller up and down that many flights. So, please buy an actual house, or a nice condo with an elevator. And second,”</p><p>            Quincey handed him another check for almost the same amount of money. “This one, you can do whatever you want with.”</p><p>            “Quince…”</p><p>            “It’s no more than you’re owed,” Quincey said softly. “Honestly, Tora, you can’t put a price on what he took from you.”</p><p>            “But we’re fine,” Tora said. “Ya don’t need to keep tryin’ to pay me back, Quincey. This is stupid.”</p><p>            “After this, I’ll call it even,” Quincey said. “Look, if you <em>really</em> feel so weird taking it, just donate it or put it in a fund for your daughter. And it’s not like it’s ‘my money’ either. It was his. You did more to earn it than I ever did.”</p><p>            “Shit. I don’t even know what ta say.” But Tora tucked the check into his pocket.</p><p>            “Then don’t say anything, honey,” Quincey said, and hugged him. “I am so proud of you. You’ve come so far.”</p><p>            They began to walk back into the chapel.</p><p>            “So when’s <em>your</em> wedding?” Tora asked.</p><p>            Quincey sniffed. “Ask Jae. Do I <em>look</em> like the kind of man who gets down on one knee?”</p><p>---</p><p>            Tora waited at the end of the aisle, his hands clasped behind his back. He shifted his weight a little. Beside him stood Quincey and Gyu. Across the aisle, waiting for Poppy, were Abby and Erdene.</p><p>            The tiny audience was mostly family and friends of Poppy’s, but there were a few faces there for him, too. Alice sat near the front, grinning. Jae sat next to two of the older youth from Quincey’s new center, former Balthuman kids who had once idolized the “Legendary Tiger of Ares Street” and had promised to behave themselves. Quincey had thought it would be good for them to see the transformation that Tora had accomplished.</p><p>            One of his buddies from the construction gig had even come and brought his wife. They’d only been friends a few months, but he was a nice guy, and flashed Tora a thumbs-up. Tora smiled back.</p><p>            And then the music changed, and she appeared.</p><p>            Everybody stood.</p><p>            Tora forgot to breathe.</p><p>            Poppy smiled at him, and he had to clench his jaw to keep from crying. His heart surged. She walked herself slowly down the aisle, and he followed every movement, until she was close enough that he could reach out to help her up the step to the platform.</p><p>            She turned to hand her bouquet to Abby, and then turned back to him.</p><p>            “I’m so lucky,” Tora whispered to her, holding her hands.</p><p>            “Hey handsome,” she whispered back with a little smile.</p><p>            The officiant cleared his mouth and began to speak. Tora followed along, but barely heard what the man was saying. His eyes were lost in Poppy’s. He could barely recognize the person he had been one year ago. For that matter, the person she had been. But here they were.</p><p>            He caught only every couple of words. It was amazing, to think of everything that had brought them to this point.</p><p>            “Gathered here today to celebrate… two people before us, who… through thick and thin… a reminder that life is… will welcome their daughter…”</p><p>            Poppy was biting her lip and blinking to try not to cry.</p><p>            “If you cry, I cry,” Tora whispered. She nodded and took a deep breath, then another.</p><p>            “…asked to keep the ceremony short… they exchanged private vows earlier today, so now, all we ask… Tora, do you take Poppylan… for richer, for poorer…”</p><p>            “I do,” he said when the officiant paused.</p><p>            “Poppylan, do you take Tora… sickness and health… for…”</p><p>            “I…” she took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. “I do.”</p><p>            “You can exchange your rings,” said the officiant, and then Quincey was pressing them into Tora’s palm. Poppy’s fingers had been a little swollen lately, with the pregnancy; she’d put on her real wedding band later. For now, he reverently slipped a polished wood placeholder onto her finger. Her small hands shaking, she took the wide silver band from his palm and slid it down his finger.</p><p>            Their hands clasped.</p><p>            “I now pronounce you man and wife,” the officiant said. “You may kiss your bride.”</p><p>            He kept one hand laced in hers, and moved the other to rest on her stomach, where their unborn child kicked and stirred.</p><p>            Then Tora leaned forward and kissed his wife, as the room around them erupted into cat-calls and applause.</p><p> </p><p><em>FIN. </em> <em><br/>
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